Just a thought: a weapon wouldn’t have to be a firearm. Pepper spray is usually effective, and causes no real damage. (There are a lot of brands, mixes, etc.; find out what your local cops carry and get some of that.) A loud pocket alarm would be good to have too; the noise alone might be enough to scare him away. I have also heard of people using very bright flashlights, the kind that use lithium batteries, for self-defense; when you shine the light in his face, he has to close or cover his eyes, and you have a chance to waltz away (or belt him–your choice).
Also, do you have any way to tell whether this guy is focusing on you, or does he treat everybody the same? If he stands by the road all day and pretends to shoot every car he sees, it’s still weird, but at least you know he’s not likely to come after you personally.
Well, I could be completely wrong of course, but I would think making that shooting gesture could very reasonably be regarded as a threat. In most jurisdictions, threatening someone is illegal. I would tell the police and approach it from that angle.
Also, if you could get some pictures to take with you to show how angry, glowering and threatening his expression is when he looks at you, they would be far less likely (I think) to be dismissive of you because you’re a woman. (Not that they necessarily would, but it would lend extra weight to your concern, and who knows…maybe it would be helpful for them to have photos of him so their patrol officers could keep an eye on him.)
But all in all, I think the police could give you a pretty good assessment of your risk. My brother-in-law is a retired police officer and my (former) wife was a police dispatcher. The police encounter all sorts of things and on a pretty regular basis. Over a period of time they develop a pretty good sense of how things will most likely play out.
Again, I would consult with the police.
And good luck. I hope this situation can be resolved for you. It’s no fun having to live with this kind of situation.
(But kudos to your dad for the “handgun” gag. I was completely whooshed until you mentioned its being a pun. Really funny!)
I finally got to speak to Mr. Neighbour, and he was very reassuring. He told me that Jerry has done this “shooting” thing in the past, but not for a long time and he was disappointed to hear that Jerry has starting doing it again. He says that Jerry is child-like and respects him because he’s known the family for a long time, so he said he’s going to have a word to Jerry and tell him that he must stop “shooting” at people, and he seems confident that Jerry will listen. He also offered to introduce me to Jerry and explain that I am his friend. He went on to say that Jerry used to go to the supermarket and just sit there all day until they told him he wasn’t allowed to do that anymore, but my sister-in-law seems to think that Jerry was told to leave because he was being aggressive towards staff and yelling at them, so I don’t know who is right or wrong there.
Jerry is usually out in the street all the time, although there are weeks when he’s around less often. I don’t go out very often which is why I don’t see much of him, but he’s almost always around.
It is illegal for private citizens to carry pepper spray in Australia. You have to be able to justify the actions you take to defend youself because you are only permitted to use reasonable force. If your actions are considered excessive, you can be fined, charged and possibly sued by your intruder-victim (see Joshua Fox). All round, it’s preferable to try to remove yourself from a dangerous situation than to fight back. As I said earlier, the linen cupboard in this house has been set up as a safe room (the previous owner went through a messy divorce and his daughter was threatened by his ex-brother-in-law - I presume it was done for her convenience). The cupboard is quite large, it’s a walk-in storage area and the door locks from the inside. I would rather try to run to that room that fight off a man who has me at such a size disadvantage.
Thank you all for your advice, help, concern and encouragement. If there are any changes to the situation, I’ll update. My neighbour has greatly put my mind at ease.
Update, please. Sounds like talking to your neighbor was a good idea.
Also, suggest you take pictures of him with your phone when he does the shooting thing. Get several of them. At least you’ll have documentation of that.
Jerry wasn’t the man I moved to get away from in the end, no.
After my divorce I ended up moving to another part of town for a couple of years, and then to a town about an hour away when I met my now-partner.
My ex retained the house and rented it to his sister, and last time I spoke to her (a few years ago) she told me Jerry was creeping her out. She works at a local shop and he’s in there regularly too, so she’s always seeing him and is really nervous of him. It doesn’t sound like his behavior has changed. He was still walking by every day, glaring in the windows on his way past.
His habitual facial expression is one of intense hatred, fury and aggression, and it’s so unsettling to be going about your day and suddenly there’s a stranger looking at you like that. The poor guy has the worst case of bitchy resting face ever.
