Jerry: Harmless Simpleton or Malevolent Timebomb?

In My Humble Opinion
1

Just canvassing for opinions…

There’s a guy in our neighbourhood called Jerry. He’s apparently retarded and spends his days standing at the corner of his street or strolling slowly back and forth along the road. He’s frightening to look at, a big fat scowling man who doesn’t appear to be simple so much as chronically angry about something. The first time I saw him was in a supermarket, and I couldn’t work out what I’d done to make this man look at me with such hatred and loathing. Later, after seeing him around more, I realised this is his habitual expression. He walks poast our house daily, staring in the windows as he strolls and scowling, but he’s not singling us out, he does this to every house in the street.

The neighbour has spoken to him from time to time as they are both men and Greek and these things are important to Jerry. The neighbour says that Jerry loves cars, hates women and goes on about both things. He keeps telling the neighbour that he never wants a girlfriend because they just use you for your money. I think Jerry must be one of life’s optimists to think that any woman would be interested in him for anything, he’s so thoroughly revolting.

Recently, Jerry has charmingly started pretending to shoot me as I drive by him. I find this so unsettling and disturbing that I feel like I’m blowing it out of proportion. He doesn’t do it every time but sometimes when I’m driving by and he’s standing at the corner of the street, he raises his hands, points his finger, looks directly at me and makes the motion of firing a gun, jerking his hands back. I don’t know if he does this to other women or if it’s just me. It’s something about the way he stares me down as he points directly at me… it’s creepy as hell. Dad suggested I call and say there’s a guy down the road with a handgun, but I suspect the humour of the pun would be lost on the police.

So, my question is: Are guys like Jerry dangerous? Will he continue to harmlessly stand by the side of the road pretending to shoot women who drive by until the end of time, or could Jerry someday actually greet me with a real gun? Is there anything I should do, or is the best course of action to ignore him and keep the deadlock on the door when I’m home alone?

2

I have no personal knowledge or expertise about the probabilities of violence in certain types of people. But I suggest it behooves you to trust your instincts and behave as if he might indeed become violent. Talk to the cops – of course, the response you get might have more to do with their own workload than anything else. If you’re in a crowded, relatively high crime urban area, it may be that they’ll just blow you off. Talk more to the neighbor, and find out whether Jerry ever speaks about hurting people, you especially. How far is he from your home? Does he know where you live? If you can drive an alternative route that doesn’t pass by him, do so.

3

Time to buy weapons.

At least a baseball bat for the door.

4

Wow,from your thread title,I thought you meant our Jerry,the tech god guy.I was wondering what he could have done to earn your animosity.I also wondered if you were perhaps suddenly mentally unbalanced.

Since that doesn’t seem to be the case (You don’t see this woman hater in your closets or popping out of clouds with his "handgun,"do you?) I’ll just say,“What Boyo Jim said”.

5

Yes, I’d definitely call the police. I have no idea what the laws are like there, or what your police department’s workload is like, so I don’t know what their response will be. I know that around here (I mean my particular town, not America in general), this would be treated pretty seriously.

6

Going by your description, I’m creeped out by the guy.

7

It’s also possible that this Jerry has a history. The police (yes, go to them) may say, “Oh dear, he’s off his meds again” and get it taken care of.

8
  1. Heighten home security. Replace or upgrade locks etc. as necessary.
  2. Obtain and learn how to use weapons. Less-than-lethal if you are uncomforatable with guns or in a place where they are not legal.
  3. Got dog?
  4. Notify the po-po.

Not following your intuition on this would be a mistake.

9

Definitely better to be safe than have this guy climbing through your window in the middle of the night.

10

I thought you were talking about the Subway guy!

Remember that mongoloids are very dangerous because they have the Strength of the Retarded. You also don’t know what might trigger him and set him off into a shreiking violent rage (remember the brother from Something About Mary?)
You could talk to the police but really this guy hasn’t actually DONE anything other than be creepy and retarded. They can’t really DO anything about it (at least until he pops your head off like Baby Heuy).
If movies and television have taught me anything though, it’s you should be nice to this guy so when he does snap, he might hesitate like the Hulk when he sees Betty Ross. What will probably happen though is that there will be some bizarre violent murders in your neighborhood. Everyone will suspect Gigantor but there won’t be any proof. Eventually, he will save you from the real murderer who will probably be someone like your boyfriend. Just another reason to be nice to him…
…or get some torches and chase him out of town…it’s all the same to me.

11

Is your knowledge of retarded folk built upon one gross-out comedy?
cazzle, yes, guys like Jerry can be dangerous, but it’s difficult to say with any authority. He might be malevolent, he might be crazy, or he might be very socially awkward and inept.

Does the neighbor believe Jerry is mentally retarded? You said “apparently” so I wasn’t sure if that was based on someone talking to him or just on his appearance and actions.

Does he live with someone? Some retarded folk live by themselves; others live with a guardian or caregiver of some sort. That person might be a good person to talk to, if he lives with a caregiver. You might be able to get some insight into his character.

12

Please, please trust your intuition, and take precautions. Several millenia of evolved survival instincts can’t be all wrong…

You may want to read The Gift of Fear by Gavin DeBecker, about the power of your intuition in such situtations. It will also give you some analytical tools to look at a situation more conciously.

That being said, there is something to be said, form both the moral as well as tactical perspective, about trying to be nice to him.

He has probably seen reactions of fear/disgust/loathing/pity from just about all women who look at him. No wonder he doesn’t like them…

How bout practicing for your Oscar by smiling, offering a greeting, and waving, with a cheerful face, and seeing if that changes things after a while.

I wouldn’t approach him at this point, however. Your safety comes first.

Here are some precautions you should consider:

You should have an “intruder” plan in your home, just like you should have a fire plan. Think of scenarios ahead of time, and map out your best options. Most people who are not exposed to this sort of thing regularly do not tend to make good choices under stress.

Keep a spare mobile phone (No SIM card needed, they can still dial the emergency number) connected to a charging plug, in the place where you would consider hiding in your home.

Keep your doors and gound-floor windows locked.

Get a remote garage door opener if you can, otherwise pay special attention to your surroundings when arriving home in your car.

Try to eliminate hiding/ambush places around your house.

Consider how you would overcome a large, strong and incoherent male in your home when you are alone. Unless you have years of martial-arts training, there are not very many effective methods.

If you can purchase a shotgun, which I believe are still legal in Australia, I would advise you to consider it. If you do so, practice, and keep it handy. Even the smallest woman can still confortably and effectively fire a 20 gauge shotgun.

If you cannot/willnot, buy a firearm, I don’t advise chemical sprays for indoor use. Your next best alternative would be a club with a heavy end. If a cricket bat is too heavy, consider a short golf club (9-iron) with a steel shaft. You would have to aim for the face/head or the genitals.

I you consider flight from your home as an alternative, make sure it is towards an area with other people, not an area even more isolated than your home.

This is a difficult situation to plan for, because most intruders are more or less rational, and can be deterred/bought off. In this case, the risk if from an irrational individual who would presumably be intent on harming you from the start. The fact that he has looked at you specifically, that he is in your area, and that he is know to have expressed hostility towards women would suggest an actually rather high level of risk, according to DeBecker’s checklist for assessing risk:

-He has opportunity (local proximity)
-He has stated a general feeling of hostility towards a group to which you belong
(Stated intent, but not specific)
-He has “pretend” shot you (thinkng of causing harm)
-He is large and strong (means of causing harm)
-He has reduced capacity to limit himself (increase likelyhood)

The only other danger signals that could signify a higher level of risk would be:

-stated specific intent (if he threatens you specifically)
-triggering incident (something upsets him)
-escalation of threat / hostile act (i.e. he punches your car or attackes another woman)

Please do take care of yourself. I would post more, but I am already late for a haircut…

13

I second the suggestion to find out who Jerry lives with. Does he have a family or some kind of caretaker? Maybe a social worker? If he does, maybe the first step is to talk to whoever is responsible for him and see what their reaction is. On the other hand, if he lives alone, he must be functional at some level, which would make him more responsible for his actions. At the same time, if he lives alone there is nobody around him to monitor him or make him behave.

I think what’s scariest about this is that it is apparently new behavior. If he’s suddenly started to think about hurting people, it wouldn’t be a long step to start doing it. What would he do to a child or a teenage girl if some opportunity presented itself? Call the cops, not necessarily to press some kind of charge, but just to describe the situation and ask for advice. You might also talk to your other neighbors so you can band together to look out for each other and keep an eye on this guy.

14

To address what’s been posted:

I’ve lived here for over four years. I’ve been aware of Jerry for most of that time. Despite the fact that I’ve found him physically intimidating, I’ve had a “Live and let live” policy and until the pretended shooting have had no contact with him whatsoever. I don’t think he speaks English very well (if at all) but I’ve never spoken to him; I consider myself to be an outgoing and friendly person but I have always sensed that friendly gestures would increase hostility rather than decrease it (the information from my neighbour that Jerry thinks all women are out to take men for their money has reinforced that) and so I’ve endevoured to fly under Jerry’s radar and have no contact with him at all. There have been times in the past with other people when meeting hostility with friendliness has improved a hostile situation… I do not feel that it will help this time as Jerry does not seem at all receptive. I get the impression that I am a woman first, and a non-Greek second, and that is all the evidence he needs that I am the enemy, and kindness would be considered just a manipulative tactic.

The male neighbour is a very nice guy and we count him among our friends. That said, I don’t consider him to be perceptive, and so I’ve never asked his opinion of the likelyhood that Jerry would resort to violence because I don’t believe he would have any insight. The female neighbour (his wife) is a very sharp lady, but either Jerry doesn’t speak in front of her or only in Greek (which she doesn’t understand more than a few words of) because she doesn’t have an opinion other than he’s creepy and she would never want to be alone around him.

The neighbour tells me that Jerry is mentally retarded, but the neighbour isn’t likely to be speaking from a position of authority. All I can say for sure is that he doesn’t appear to have Down’s Syndrome, but he doesn’t appear to be bright and his behaviour certainly isn’t normal unless it is normal for a middle aged man to stand beside the road for hours every day, and to slowly pace up and down it from time to time.

What prompted this question: my friend’s car was overheating so she stopped in front of my house, popped the hood and came over to get some water. When she went back to her car Jerry was peering under the hood. He stood back and began a commentary that she couldn’t understand, gesturing wildly, and then walked back over to the other side of the road talking loudly to himself in words that didn’t seem to be English but may not have been Greek, and continued talking to himself as he walked down the road - oh, he did glare in my windows as he passed my house. I gathered that he was there to help until he saw that it was a woman’s car, then he just abandoned her to figure it out alone, but my interpretation of his motives may be tainted by the neighbour’s stories about his hatred of women. Maybe he left her to it because she had water, maybe because she didn’t understand him, maybe because she seemed to know what she was doing. It was the aggressive way he was muttering and talking to himself that really bothered me and got me thinking about seeking advice on how to deal with him.

I can’t avoid driving past him when he stands on his corner; we live on a main road into our town. If Jerry is walking past my house when I approach it, I drive around the block to give him a chance to walk further down the road as I don’t want to draw attention to myself by driving close to him. Nor do I want to get out of the car alone with him standing there. He doesn’t “shoot” me every time I pass him. He’s done it twice in the last couple of months, and I’ve probably passed him six or eight times in that time. It just makes my heart leap into my throat when he does and it really shakes me up. He looks at me with such hatred and waits until I’m quite close to him before he does it, and he stares me full in the face the whole time.

A weapon is out of the question. I don’t feel that I would be able to protect myself with one and I strongly disapprove of firearms. Locks and a phone that I can call the police on are more my style, and I think I can arrange this. Our walk-in linen cupboard appears to have been set up as a saferoom by the previous owners and can be locked from the inside. I will add a mobile phone on a charger to that room first thing tomorrow. We have also been using the deadbolt on the front door for reasons unrelated to Jerry.

I think Jerry may live with parents, but I’m not even sure which house is his. Even if I did know, I’m not sure that talking to them would help as a) I doubt that they speak much or any English and b) it may aggrevate him if I intrude on his home soil. I may speak to the neighbour and see if he would be so kind as to speak to them on my behalf, but knowing my neighbour I think the message would be so watered down that they would be more offended that someone would complain about their son than worried that his actions are alarming people. My neighbour is a pacifier and would no doubt use very mild language to describe my problem with Jerry.

I have to go down to the main shopping district early next week. I think I will stop by the police station and ask for some advice. I was worried about wasting their time, but the reassurance I’ve had here has made me rethink that. I wish him no harm and am quite content to share a neighbourhood with him as long as he is not making threatening gestures at me as I drive by. I am not the one who has changed the way we interact, he has. At least if the local police are aware that he has been acting aggressively, they will know what they’re dealing with if there is any more trouble.

15

It’s not your place or mine to determine the probability of whether Jerry is, will, or can be violent.

If you feel threatened by his behavior, by all means call the police and let them determine that. If it is, indeed nothing, but something happens down the road at least there will be documentation.

16

I think it IS your place to learn what you can without endangering yourself, as who else would have a better reason?

I suggest getting anything you can from your neighbor, whether or not you feel he has much insight. Find out for sure where Jerry lives, find out for sure if he lives with parents or someone else (and if they speak English).

Maybe this guy knows something about Jerry’s schedule – if he goes anywhere on a regular basis, perhaps that would be time to talk to the people he lives with. If there’s a language barrier, ask the neighbor to come with you. Your last post suggests you encounter Jerry about once a week, which is way less than I first thought. I suggest you jot down the times of these encounters. Maybe you can find a pattern that you can use to avoid him.

I really think you should lay all this out to the neighbor, and make sure the wife is there to hear it. Even if the guy downplays your fears, I’d guess the wife will understand them better and press him to cooperate if he shows reluctance.

I’m actually reassured by the friend’s car incident, simply because Jerry DIDN’T do anything that I would perceive as violent or threatening – just strange. And he probably glared into more houses than yours as he walked by them.

I would also suggest that driving around the block rather than pulling in when he’s near your house is a mistake. My guess is he knows you and your car, and he may be angered (or God forbid, turned on) by visible evidence of fear. Can you arrange one of these encounters in a manner you feel safer, asking some other people to be with you? I think it would be useful to try some manner of engagement with him, but only on terms where you feel safe.

17

I guessed by the OP title that you were referring to Jerry Springer, who is both a simpleton and a malevolent timebomb.

Do whatever it takes to be safe. That’s the most important thing. I’d talk to the police and ask their opinion. What they might be allowed to do given no crime has yet been committed is questionable, but at least they’ll be on notice.

StG

18

It sounds like you are taking this seriously, you’re planning and taking precautions, and have the situtation well in hand. One though occured to me when you mention talking to the police: I would suggest describing this as clinically and unemotionally as possible, stating lots of facts and reasons why you’re concerned. My concern is to try to minimise the sometimes patronising attitude that some police departments have when women report concerns of this nature. You don’t want a "there, there, little Missy, don’t you worry your pretty little head none…."response, where they think you’re just being too much of a silly frightened woman. In fact, why don’t you ask to speak to a female constable. That will almost certainly make sure you don’t encounter any macho condescension. You will get the most out of your encounter if you speak to someone in the detachment actually responsible for your neighborhood: both advice, and well as alerting the constables who woudl respond to any incident.

If more women reacted the same way you did, instead of just dismissing their intuition, there would be many fewer regrettable incidents. Keep safe and please keep us posted.

19

This is a creepy situation–but I doubt if it’s a police matter. They guy hasnt broken any laws.
But here’s a thought: gather evidence about him. If anything illegal does happen, you’ll need good evidence. If he ever makes a physical attack on you, it will be very, very upsetting to you–but not so much to anybody else. I suspect that you’ll have a hard time getting any real reaction from the police or courts.They see things like spouse abuse all the time, with serious injuries, so if some weirdo “only” slaps you in the face or vandalizes your car, you might not get taken seriously.

But if you have hard evidence of long-term harrassment, it may help you convince the authorities.
Maybe set up a securtiy camera like the ones in all-night convenience stores.You’ll have to hire a private detective service, I suppose.
Am I being too paranoid? Or maybe it’s an idea worth considering?

20

Someone please tell me I wasn’t the only one who read this sentence and imagined some sort of “mongoloids” unit type for a game like Warcraft or Medieval Total War?