Pardon me if I don’t get the implication of declaring for bankruptcy. Does it do you any good? 'cos for where I come from, it’s a pretty big bad stigma (you can’t travel out from the country, engage in investment, have problems with banks and etc.).
But I’m glad that you are feeling great…you’re feeing on top of the world, right?
Do NOT be ashamed. Your taking the appropriate steps to make your situation better. That’s just the way things are; the basic facts. You go steal some little old ladies bingo money or sell the government a $2,000 hammer, you can be ashamed. But not this time, not for this, if at all possible.
Even with the circumstances that Quasi has been through, there is still some pretty good reasons to feel shame and this is a good thing. I am a full supporter of bankruptcy laws, but they do in fact make the interest rates higher for everyone else. I and everyone else in essence paid his debt for him. The fact that he is showing some shame makes me believe this truly was a last resort for him and it will give Quasi some motivation to avoid going into debt again (if at all possible). I would be pretty upset honestly if someone didn’t feel some shame, as that just would scream to me “I just played the system”.
Good luck with your new financial start, make the best of it!
Quasi, I know from your previous posts how hard this must have been for you. But you did it because you knew there was no other way! So, now you have a clean start, make the best of it!
I’ve got a cow-orker who just completed a divorce, is currently healing from a pretty serious motorcycle accident (like, if he didn’t have all the safety gear, he wouldn’t be worrying about his finances.) He’s pretty sure the next life step for him is bankruptcy.
He didn’t deserve it. His ex-wife woke up, decided she wanted to scratch an itch, and ROYALLY fucked up his life.
Why am I saying this? Because he didn’t really have serious financial problems before all this started. Bankruptcy can be a tool used when normal people need help.
I have a family member that was living the american dream. Leveraged to the hilt. Big house, Big payments, Big credit card debt. Took his family with him when the business folded. His decisions, I’m not so proud of.
I have another family member that after 27 year marriage checked out, got divorced, listened to the wrong friend and her lawyer, screwed over everyone (but her lawyer), and accrued a good 100k in shopping sprees. Is it her fault? Hell yeah. But when I look at what revolving credit I have available to me (I shit you not, it’s north of $75,000) some of that responsibility has to be laid at the feed of the credit industry.
Bankruptcy isn’t good or bad, it just is. What defines it is what you do with your absolution.
But to the financial giants you walked away from in March you’re not even a memory of a memory. In fact, you’re a couple years away from being a prospect they fully plan to abuse with your own guilt. BK wasn’t part of your 10 year financial plan (and for some people it is, believe it or not), it was just something you had to do.
Think of it like this: apart from the hurt pride, has that $50,000 discharge bought you any enjoyment of life? Were you able to sleep better? Pay your bills? Eat? How long would it have taken you to pay it off? How many years of your useful life would have been spent miserable because of constant worry about the debt? Do you think your creditors cared about you? They were willing to wring you dry with exorbitant late fees, interest charges and annual fees for the next 50 years, collecting WAY more than you ever charged in merchandise. I maintain if revolving credit came less easily and at a rate of say, 6% at worst, there’d be fewer CH7. They know that, but they ratchet the rates up anyways counting on the profits to offset the resulting losses and your guilt to not file the BK. Fuck 'em. You know you’re a good man, continue to be so.
wow. That’s an amazingly subversive concept, and one that just made me feel sad about the ethics of some people. It has the ring of truth to it, though.
It’s nothing to be ashamed of in your case, Quasi, shit happens to good people. I’ve known a few people who had to file for bankrupcy, and for the ordinary working man or woman, it’s hard to face. Some people and even wealthy people like Donald Trump seem to do so without qualms and bounce right back. it’s good that you can get out from under the pile of debt and start taking care of your health and of your life with D.
Quasi, forget this guilt trip you’re laying on yourself. This is not your fault. You didn’t ask to get sick.
As for your “court hearing”, if what you’ve filed is a typical Chapter 7, you are not actually going to court. You’ll be going to your creditors meeting, convened under section 341 of the bankruptcy code. You’ll be asked a list of standard questions which are asked of everybody, either by your lawyer or by the Chapter 7 Trustee, who chairs the meeting. When that’s done, any creditors that show up are allowed to ask whatever questions they may have. The creditors that are likely to show up will be secured creditors…those that have some type of collateral securing their claim. The questions they will ask have to do with determining your intentions regarding that collateral. You have some options which you’ll be discussing with your lawyer, if you have any secured debt. Your entire hearing will take about 15 minutes or so, barring unforeseen complications. Dozens of other people will be present for their own creditors meetings. In my area, they schedule those things every 15 minutes or so, back to back, all day long. You are not the first person to go through this process, and you won’t be the last. You are not doing anything wrong or dishonorable. You’re taking a necessary step to protect yourself under the law.
Bill, I know just how you feel, but the court thing, at least for me, was much less painful than I expected. It took only a couple minutes. No one chastized me.
The other thing that I didn’t expect is, that within a year, my FICO score was climbing back to its previous level.
I felt bad about stiffing my dentist, but the rest of my creditors were faceless and forgot about me.
Your name is not sullied with anyone who really matters.
