Jesus Christ With This Sonya Sotomayor Thing!

[pseudotriton_ruber_ruber]

That should be “Judge Jesus,” as in

“Now, Judge Jesus, as Ah unnerstan’ yo’ position–”

“Mister, Senator.”

“Whut?”

“I prefer ‘Mister Jesus.’ Judge not, lest you be judged.”

“Well, that sounds like an anti-activist stance, is that correct? You think judges should ‘judge not’?”

“Let he who is without sin among ye cast the first stone.”

“Now, that sounds like a pro-death penalty position to me, is that right, providing the prosecutors and jury haven’t been found guilty of any crime or, as you put it, any sin.”

“That is a case, Senator, that may come before the court, so I can’t comment on it specifically, but yes, if the judge, prosecutor, and jury were to be sin-free–and that’s very rare, in terms of historical precedent, of course–then I would have to consider letting them throw the first stone, or whatever apparatus is in use. At the present time, I understand you’ve come up with some sort of lethal injection.”

“Thank you, Mister Jesus. I have no more questions at this time.”

“Go thou and sin no more.”

“Thank you again, Mister Jesus. I yield my time to the Senator from South Carolina.”

[Quasimodem]

SNL needs y’all!

This is some of the funniest stuff I have ever read, and if “Big G and The Holy Three”, could see this, they’d be rolling around THEIR thrones, too!

I’m going to church (New Hope United Methodist) tomorrow, and I am going to have a chore keeping a straight face, thanks to this thread and the guy who started it!

Then, Sunday evening, I am going to to have to “Ask the blessin’”!:rolleyes:

Y’all have ruin’t me!

Quasi

[kaylasdad99]

@GIGObuster

I would think that just by creating a whip from some cords, driving out the money changers from the temple, and turning over their tables would be enough to declare him an enemy of commerce. A person not qualified to pass judgment on business litigation.

I always wondered about where he got the cords. Did he unplug everybody’s cash registers?

[Aji_de_Gallina]

Two things:

• It’d be “Mr. Bar-Joseph”, Mr. Jesus makes him sound like a school teacher in Peru.
• I denounce the anti-hispanic bias in the OP in his attempt the make Judge Sotomayor sound more European by calling her “Sonya” and not “Sonia”

C’mon, she’s getting a lifetime job, she HAS to take the crap and like it; whatever they ask her (“How many times have you masturbated to an XKCD image in the last two years?”)…that is part of the job, however mega-assholey the grilling dudes are. Stop it with feeling sorry for her or angry at the Republicans…she’ll have 30 years give them the finger.

[aldiboronti]

Let’s face it, makes no difference whether they’re Dems or Republicans, these bums in the Senate rarely have a higher moral fiber than the people they’re grilling. (Maybe in the Mafia hearings, although I’m dubious about that one too).

[Green_Bean]

@Guinastasia

Is there such a thing as a Shinola, anyways?

Yup, Shinola was shoe polish. I actually have an antique Shinola can hanging around somewhere–just in case I ever need to prove that I do indeed know shit from Shinola.

[GIGObuster]

@Green_Bean

Yup, Shinola was shoe polish. I actually have an antique Shinola can hanging around somewhere–just in case I ever need to prove that I do indeed know shit from Shinola.

http://www.corpun.com/sell8.htm

1948: SHINOLA SHOE POLISH.

This once leading brand is now defunct. Its name lives on in the American expression “He can’t tell shit from Shinola”, apparently a reference to the latter’s unfortunate visual resemblance to the former.

In 1948, however, the product was still going strong. This ad uses a straightforward and familiar kind of humour. Son has taken the alarm clock to pieces and can’t put it back together. An over-the-knee spanking ensues, in which position he finds himself obliged to contemplate father’s dirty shoes at close quarters.

Regarding that site, it is interesting how back in the day spanking was considered so normal that it cropped many times in advertisement.

[zenith]

@Quasimodem

Shinola was/is a brand of shoe polish, I think, but it may also be a product to straighten curly hair with.

Anyway, I think the expression “You don’t know shit from Shinola” might have come from the 30’s.

Quasi

It’s a shoe polish brand. It came in paste and liquid. It smelled bad, but more like an industrial solvent than shit.

[Just_Some_Guy]

It’s funny, but I couldn’t figure out which political party Quasimodem meant when he said “the SAME FUCKING IDIOTS who need to clean up their OWN back yard.” Republicans I guess since the Democrats on the committee are essentially french kissing her. That isn’t a statement against them; one party has to french kiss the nominee while the other implies that the nominee is a monster out to destroy all good people (i.e. the ones belonging to their party). When it comes to needing to clean up their own back yard I don’t see much difference.

Unless maybe he meant senators in general.