I have a new boss today. He’s not a coffee-drinker. I don’t have a lotta hope for him.
I’m totally enamored with the Lady who works in the next cube. No, I’m not going to start a chain of threads about it, but I’ll probably “kiss & tell” here if it comes to it.
I have to call an EXTREMELY difficult customer and give them some good news. But they are so damned cantankerous I’m putting it off (at YOUR expense!).
I’m selling girlscout cookies for one of the girlscouts I live with. This year the GS are just coming out and admitting that they put heroin in the Samoas.
I’ve got a Dove chocolate wrapper on my desk that reads: “Make someday today.” It’s been there for a week now. I have a laugh with my crush about it every morning when I nip off to the cafeteria for my morning java.
All my kids have a nasty cold. Which makes me sad. I’ve been coughed and sneezed on for 2 weeks now and I haven’t come down with it. This makes me happy. My live-in estranged has had it for 2 weeks and can’t seem to shake it. This gives me an evil, warm, happy feeling in the pit of my ice-cold heart.
My goal of doubling the performance of the next most productive coworker is challenged by a palpable lack of work to do. We’re all idle and it’s driving me nuts.
Oh boy do i know the feeling of having no work to do. Our entire…eeek my boss just walked past…department has nothing to do but because we’re in the basement nobody comes visiting to see this fact. Ok hardly ever.
He’s totally put me off the point of this post now
The neighbor girl knocked on the door selling GS Crack last week. I answered, because I was closest but I was busy. So I let her in, told her two boxes of the shortbread ones, then yelled for Bus Kid to come down and walked away. Bus Kid orders a few boxes of what she likes, then yelled for mom, and walked out the door to work. BW came up from the basement, ordered Thin Mints and let the girl out the door. We are GS heaven.
I’d like to not be busy, unfortunately I’m inundated this week for some reason. Cripes.
Today I’m changing the lanyard my ID hangs on because the Bears sucked gas on Sunday. I’ll grab something off the Giant Hook of Lanyards.
I came into work after three days off (not counting the weekend, of course) expecting a mountain of unfinished business and a cavalcade of stupidity from the guy who does my job when I’m out.
Instead, I found everything done–and apparently done correctly. There was still a little bit of stupidity, though, because he feels the pressing need to tell me (in minute, excruciating detail) every single little thing he did while I was out. I appreciate that he wants me to know about any potential issues before they come up, but he does not have to tell me what order he did things in or how many times the phone rang yesterday.
My nieces double teamed me with the cookies. While niece the older called me, niece the younger called my daughter. Total - 5 boxes of cookies. 2 Peanut Butter Sandwich, 2 Thin Mint and 1 Caramel Delight.
I’m so happy that the cookies don’t arrive until February. I really don’t want to blow my diet this early in the year but Peanut Butter Sandwich Cookies are damn hard to resist. I should have know it was heroin. That’s the only explanation for it. It’s in all the cookies.
I just finished my APAT (Associate Performance Assessment Tool). Yes, it was every bit as scintillating as it sounds. I’ve had to brush up on my corporate-speak but I think I did OK. We’ll see what the boss says.
It’s snowing today. I woke up at 7:30 and looked out the window. “How pretty.” Noticed the snow has juuuuuust covered my car (no, not the 83 Corolla, it’s gone; this is the 94 Camry cancer car). Something wrong with this picture: that car should be on its way to work right about now but it’s just sitting there. Shave/brush/comb/press/dress & out the door in 7 minutes flat. I knew Basic Training would come in handy someday.
The cancer car sang Guns n Roses songs to entertain me while it drove me to work. Side 2 of “Lies.” Now I’m in the mood to settle some claims! “You put nitrous on a Cavalier? You’re F*****g Cray-zay, oh chy-yild…”
I overslept last night, jumped out of bed, threw some clothes on, splashed some water on my face, forced my unruly hair up into a clip, sprayed on some Ginger Scents body spray so I wouldn’t be too offensive, sped to work…
…and was told, “There’s nothing much going on, me and other guy will be fine, you can probably go home if you want to.” (Translation: You’re the supervisor and when you’re here we don’t get to dick around as much.)
I came home and watched The Muppet Show. It was like a snow day!
My youngest spawn is selling GS cookies, too. We’ve already pushed about 60 boxes. These things are wayyyy easier to sell than that crappy Boy Scout popcorn my son used to sell.
I ordered 4 boxes of Thin Mints. Thin Mints are da bomb.
TOTALLY! I thought I just sucked as a dad because my Tiger only sold 3 tins of the unwholesome food-like product…to me. So he could get a bead, or a patch or whatever bit of eyecandy it was worth.
One good thing about being tired? It gives my voice a velvety bedroom smooveness that simply can’t be faked. It’s been working wonders for me as all of my phone contacts this morning have started out as ill-tempered wimmin with the idea that they’re gonna get screwed on their claim by some insurance creep, but after a minute or two it’s all giggles and “Aw shucks!” Lucky for me they can’t actually see the troll with the golden voice.
Even works on guys, but it has a slightly different effect. Thankfully. Not that there’d be anything wrong with it if I did make a few guys swoon. Just not my bag, baby.
I was here at 6 something this morning and didn’t get adaquate caffiene until I stopped at Gas City on the way to a 9 am meeting. Following that, a 9:30 meeting with a union president who kept insisting that he knew what I meant when I said what I said, and I wasn’t even talking to him when I said it. I closed my eyes and did my best wishing, but the lightning never came. Perhaps later the scorpions will find his boxers - that was my fallback.
Now I’m trying to convince the lady at ToshibaDirect.com that it really IS a tax-exempt purchase because I really am buying school district supplies. If she makes me go to a store to get this AC adapter after I waited 20 minutes of listening to bad Hold Music, she’s going to get the scorpions too.
And by the way, the BS popcorn is tough to sell because it’s lousy popcorn.
Mmmmmm. Thin Mints.
Marlitharn - Ginger Scents? So you smell like Chow Mein?
I don’t have anything to do today, either. I just wrapped a major project, and spent Monday & Tuesday of this week prepping for a minor project that I expected to execute yesterday, but my spineless boss pulled the plug. I’ve got a couple things on-deck, but nothing I can do today, which sucks because my farkin’ boss is a numbskull, and still hasn’t come to the realization that I am the reason things are running so smoothly lately. So what I’m doing is putting a list together of projects I think need to get done - outside the scope of planned projects my boss will be handing down to me. I’ve got to do something - He actually wants a stable infrastructure, but resents the time I spend fixing things. What a weenie. I applied for another job yesterday - a guy I worked with at my last job gave me a heads up, talked to his boss, etc. I’m excited and apprehensive at the same time - I just started here back in August, and thought I’d put down some roots, but the place I’ve just applied to is
get this -
Harvard University.
This will be the third or fourth time I’ve applied there, but the first with an in. Last summer, I had a chance to interview for the position my friend on the inside now holds. I’m a stronger candidate, more experience, better credentials, etc. but I’d just started my current job and didn’t want to jump again - too nerve-wracking, so I passed on the second-round interview. But not 6 months here and I know this isn’t the place for me. In a lot of ways I love it, but I’ve just got this huge-ass list of things I don’t like about it. I know, I know: there’s always stuff at work I’ll hate, that why they pay me to come here, but blah blah blah.
So here I sit, with idle time, planning for projects I probably won’t be around to execute.
About 6 years ago, I was working where a good friend was also my boss. He’s a little, stubby bald guy with kind of a pug face. His wife has hair, but otherwise… Neither of them would impress anyone with their mental acuity.
His eldest daughter on the other hand is a knockout who was Valedictorian at her Big 10 school that summer. She’d been shopping grad schools but was also doing a year in Prague right after college. She wants a Doctorate in something guaranteed to keep her “in college” forever - something like Renassance Literature I think.
Anyway, He’d been keeping me appraised as to her progress with Michigan, Stanford, etc. One day he calls to tell me that his wife just took a phone call from Harvard offering the lass a full, all-expense paid trip to Harvard for 6 years that included a monthly stipend.
After congratulating him, I instructed him to go home, take his wife in his arms and thank her for sleeping with whoever she did to produce such a beautiful and intelligent daughter for him to raise.
I’ve got stuff do do, but not enough to justify being here 8 hours a day, 5 days a week. Like, this past Tuesday I could’ve used an extra 30 minutes. Yesterday, I may have accomplished 2 hours’ worth of work. Today, I have the potential of about 4 hours’ worth in front of me, but if I do it all today, what will there be left for tomorrow?
It’s like that every week, more or less.
The Girl Scouts never come door-to-door in my area; just the JW’s and people who want you to sign some damn petitions. I always liked those Thin Mints…
Holy SMOKE - 6 years?! Damn, she must be smart as hell. Yeah, I’m pretty pumped about the opportunity - the prestige, the benefits, all the time off, the opportunity to get a degree from the extension school, my kids getting to go to the extension school, the fact that’s it’s a recession-proof job, and the location, on and on. I hope I get the job!
No, it’s kind of a gingery-citrusy thing. So I smell like a luau. Or I did until I took a shower with my honey & cocoa butter body bar. Now I smell like chocolate. And lavender. From my shampoo bar. 'Cause it’s lavender.
