Why are you working on it so badly? Do you WANT it to be bad? (Ooh, yeah, you’re a bad story; very, very bad…)
Takes a deep sniff…oh yeah, nice. I smell all sweaty from the gym, so I’ll be running upstairs in a minute
You’re a very strange person, featherlou. I like that about you. 
Change it to read “Make someone today.” See if anybody notices.
Fill in all the o’s in a hardcopy of any recent document. Connect the dots.
Here’s a dumb thing to do:
Leave your sunglasses in the pocket of the black leather jacket, then wear the parka to work in the morning. As soon as the sun starts to come up, reach into the compartment in your car where you keep your sunglasses, and invent new swear words as you realize your eyes are naked.
Toady will be like this all day. It’s a faulty day. It’s Friday and I have actual, serious work to do. Volumes of it.
I tried to be normal once. It didn’t work out.
Mr Bus Guy, I remember the incident that caused my “car keys in my hand until the door is shut” policy. I got out, put my car keys in my jacket pocket, decided it was too nice out, took my jacket off, tossed it back in the car, and slammed the locked door shut. I think it was an instant “oh, crap” moment.