Ahhh your Lordship, there you are. I think it would have been better to change your name to ** Lord of the men with the beautiful blue eyes ** .
Sorry but I’m not sure I can let go of the ** B {/b], cause it was one of my favorite parts. 
Like all Englishmen I happen to have several titles: a couple of dukedoms, a few baronies and a whole bunch of lordships. You’re welcome to borrow one any time you like Jim.
How does Jim, Marquis of Walton-on-the-Naize sound?
Alex B
Well, since dukes and duchesses are addressed “Your Grace”, I don’t think you or Palmyra can be one. It would get to confusing at dopefests.
“Your grace?”
“No, Grace is over there - the cute black-haired chick. Palmyra is the cute red-haired chick and Zyada is the cute blonde chick”
deb’, this year Lord of Easy Street Manor, next year King of the World. Baby steps, always think baby steps.
Ayesha, I never said let go of that* B, and we aren’t talking Blue eyes now.
Alex, just the one I need to talk to. I’m happy with the Lord title, althouogh Marquis is really cool. It’s 'punha that’s having a problem with titles. Help me out, I need something that sounds good with 'punha and Palmyra.
Zy, good point. Maybe Alex can help me out.
Jim (not suffering withdrawal so far)
Congratulations on your promotion, good sir.
I must confess, I was starting to have trouble with your explanation of your username. You know, that one where you said that the B was silent, as in dumb? I mean, really. You are in NO sense of the word dumb. I’ve heard you talk, so I can speak with assurance on this point. 
[geek]
Well, this is how I understand it.
The aristocracy goes as follows
Duke
Marquis
Earl
Viscount
Baron
And the gentry is
Baronet
Squire
And maybe something else I missed.
A duke is addressed as “Your Grace”
The rest of the aristocracy is addresses as Lord “whatever your title is” so the Nigel Havanale, Viscount of Giggleswick* is addressed as Lord Giggleswick, or Giggleswick if you are superior to him, or maybe Giggles if you’re a really good friend.
The exception to this is that dukes’ children are addressed by Lord or Lady [first name] and are considered untitled aristocracy; unless they have their own title. (Wouldn’t want the heir upstaged by some mere baron, don’t you know) So apparently, our beloved Jim has found out that his daddy is a duke. Duke of Earl, maybe? 
And Palmyra is the grand-daughter of a duke!
Women take their title from their husband’s rank. Squire doesn’t have a female title (being gentry).
Maybe we need to upgrade iampunha’s title. A mere squire would be considered too lowly for the grand-daughter of a duke, after all. Unless your filthy, stinking rich, in which case that’s ok.
[/geek]
*[sub]Real, honest-to-goodness town in England[/sub]
ScottiDear, that was Irishman that said “as in dumb”, I used ‘limb’, lamb’,and ‘climb’.
Oh, and my dear friend, I have an opening for Lady-in-Waiting, behind Lady PurrpleBear, if you are interested. Sorry, she already has the dress and all, besides being eminently qualified for queenship.
Jim (not to B)
Zy, thanks. Ok, it looks like daddy was Duke of Earl, Alex is letting me be Jim, Marguis of Walton-on-the-Naize, very cool place. So, I think I’ll promote 'punha to Viscount and then Palmyra can be Countess. Count 'Punha and Countess Palmyra. Works for me. Or do we have to call them Grace to?
This is getting confusing.
Jim (needs y’all to send money, this aristocrosy ain’t cheap either)
No, no. I’m the only Grace here and don’t anyone go using that. 
BTW, you’ll always be JimB to me. This name change is really going to confuse Hootee. She’s the ditzy blonde and it’s bound to confuse the heck out of her. [sub]Love ya Hootee.[/sub]
That’s fine with me.
All hail, Your PurrpleLadyship! Nice dress!
[sub]oops, I suppose I am required to curtsey?[/sub]
Speaking as the owner of one dog and the pet of two cats, you, dear sir, are indeed quite DARK. Delicately shudders Much too wicked and evil for this mere maiden.
Why my dear friend Scotti! BLUSH Thank you ever so much. Too kind of you, indeed. I simply adore that dress you have on, it goes so perfectly with your red hair. <whispers in your ear> Yes, dear, Lord Jim does like it if you curtsey to him.
I gots money up the ass:) Except not up MY ass.
I can buy whatever title I really want. But being a Count is cool.
Do I get a concubine?
Lawd, Lawd, Jim, some kinda high-falutin’!!! But, hell, yer from Tejas, so it’s downright admirable then…
I love ya cause you grow hollyhocks–In Tha South–, so that’s apt enough Lawdly recommence to me.
What kinda throne ya got goin’?
BLUSH Why, thank you, my dear. You’re entirely too kind. Queenship, indeed. It was very sweet of you to say so, though.
Grace, as much as I like Hootee, she won’t get my name right if she hangs around another year.
Scotti, Purrplebear will help you with this protocol stuff. I sure don’t know what to do.
Punha, Count is about the best you’re going to get. Now about the concubine thing, well, that’s the countess’s department to break your fingers for that.
elelle, I love you for even remembering about my hollyhocks. I still have one that continues to bloom. I was hoping for a donation for the throne.
PurrpleBear, as I said above, you’ve got some training to do, but you’ll make a great queen when I take over the world.
Jim (been 'B’less all day)
Oh . . . I don’t know about that:) I don’t think she’d break my fingers. We have an agreement about that sort of thing.
[sub]I am so going to get in trouble for that.[/sub]
::hears red-head voice off-stage::
Coming, dear!
COOL!!! I’ve always wanted to be really really rich and leach off the general population. Countess… is that what the wife of a Viscount is called [Vicountess sound rather silly]? Besides, since i’m the [virtual]blood relation, would my husband receive the title of Viscount? I mean… male aristocrats don’t go down in rank when they marry, but do they go up?
Okay, my first act as Countess is to demand a complete redecoration at dear father’s expense.
::starts wondering around pointing out changes::
I think those curtains should move over there but adding a chiffon liner, and then take down those horrible puce tapestries [sub]and…
Palmyra, my dear, I know this has all come on rather suddenly, but I’ll try to straighten it out for you. I’m the Son of a Duke and, thanks to Alex B, Marquis of Walton Mountain or something like that. That allowed me to name you Countess of Timmaron. Which made the lowly squire 'Punha a count, The Viscount of Timmaron, or Count Timmy for short. Okay?
Now, about this redecorating, while the place does need fixin’ up, you’ll have to take it up with M’Lady and the Lady-in-Waiting. They may have some ideas, too. I didn’t get into this Lord thing to get in the middle of this stuff.
Send Money!
Jim (not a wanna’B’)
They do both.
Just, er, so you know.
Why certainly, my dear. I’d be most delighted to help out in any way I can. You have only to ask, dear Scotti. And Lord Jim, why…why… I do declare I am almost speechless. You, sir, are a true gentleman and a very sweet man. I would be most enchanted to reign at your side. Provided of course that our sweetest Scotti doesn’t usurp me in that role, with her flaming red hair and delightful disposition.
And Paddy m’dear. ::shakes head in mild disapproval:: It is so de trop to talk like that in front of so many ladies. ::slowly winks so he’ll know she’s not upset with him::