Lesser Countess of The Deviant Sexual Practice Bank and Trust
*Forgive me sire, I was raised by a mad herd of wild cows. *
Paladin of Wee Ceramic Kittens.
I like it!
Goddess of Deviant Sexual Practices…Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood.
Provost of Death, MC Juniper200, The Seldom Lucid
I’m having that put on my business cards. I love it!
“Yes, please” isn’t funny??? 
Sincerely,
–the Lesser Baroness of Rubber Knives
Contessa of Man-Haberdasher Love!
It has a nice ring to it…
Acting Superintendent of The Sun
Sub Boss of Procrastination, Scrum-Diddly Mr L. Cynical, Attorney at Law
Aawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww yeah.
I am also…
Baroness of All Things Not Pertaining to Sporks
Regent of The Divison For Investigating Deviant Sexual Practices VIII
*And, lo, the Magic Eight-Ball hath spake. *
Director-In-Training of Karaoke Bars
*ALL YOUR TITLE ARE BELONG TO US. *
Ha!
Paladin of Mysterious Briefcases, Timothy Paul Groth
Wahoo! I’m a secret agent of some sorts.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Inspector Junior Grade of The Mauve Army of Camel Droppings, Scrum-Diddly …
… DarkRabbit
Czarina Junior Grade of Satanic Altars of Bone
I like this. I like it very much. It’s much better than my Star Wars name, which sounded like some third rate administrator from a mining planet, or my Wu Tang name, which I didn’t understand.
You may all address me as simply “Czarina.” No need to stand on ceremony.
Godfather Maximus of Silly Boys and Their Bad Musical Taste.
Hmmm…
Co-Funkmistress of The Black Army of Cheap Canadian Beers
Well, I plugged Dr. LindyHopper (well, just her name, not actually her) into it and it said…
Deputy of Woolen Mufflers, Inc.
Which is actually pretty cool.
Greater Dean of The Ancient Order of Stars, Darth ITR Champion.
A “Dean” is royalty? I always thought that a dean is the guy who punishes students when they pass out on the roof of the administration building.
General of The Black Army of Sporks, C. “Lighthouse” of the Kaufeld, the Tenth
In the unlikely event of a water landing, this title is designed to be used as a flotation device.
I am now Earl of Pimpin Ho’s, Senor Justin B.
I got the Cool Name!
Mecha-Governess of Leather Couches
Thankyouverymuch.
Vice Governess of Talking Loudly In Movie Theaters
And wow, they’re right too! I recall complaining quite vocally throughout Mortal Kombat: Annihilation, and more recently, O - of course, so was everyone else, but that’s beside the point!
And Face/Off. God that was a horrid movie. If you have the criminal in the hospital why don’t you just make him tell you what you want to know, rather than transfer his face? And the whole “plastic shell over the skull so the face isn’t distorted by different bone configuration” really bugged me too. If John Travolta’s head is bigger than Nic Cage’s head, then it works quite well to put a plastic mold over Nic’s bones to make the bigger JT face fit. But you’d have to shave John Travolta’s skull (anywhere I can sign up for this?) in order to make Nic’s face stick without distortion! Putting a bigger, plastic mold over the already-bigger head will just make the smaller face stretch!
Maybe they covered that during the first half of the movie but I was too … er … busy … to notice [Heh - actually I came in extremely late, but I just sound much less stuck-up if I pretend I was making out!]
People hate me in movie theatres.