Straight from my spam filter to MPSIMS. No source to attribute to.
Competitive Salary -
We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors.
Join Our Fast-Pace Company -
We are a dot-com who has just lost funding and we have no time to train you.
Casual Work Atmosphere -
We don’t pay enough for you to buy fancy dress-up clothes.
Must Be Deadline Oriented -
You’ll be six months behind schedule on your very first day.
Some Overtime Required -
Some time each night and some time each weekend.
Good Communication Skills -
Management communicates, you listen, then try to figure out what they want you to do.
Duties Will Vary -
Anyone in the office can boss you around, including the janitor.
Must Have an Eye for Detail -
We have absolutely no quality control.
Career-Minded -
Female applicants must be childless – and remain that way.
No Phone Calls Please -
We’ve filled the job; our call for resumes is just a legal formality.
Seeking Candidates with a Wide Variety of Experience -
You’ll need it to replace the three people who just quit.
Problem-Solving Skills a Must -
You’re walking in to a company in perpetual chaos.
Requires Team Leadership Skills -
You’ll have the responsibilities of a manager, without the pay or respect.
Apply in Person -
If you’re old, fat or ugly you’ll be told the position has been filled.