Another sports one is the American football longsnapper. The essence of the job is to bend over and throw a ball backwards between your legs a few times a week in the fall and winter. Pays around a million dollars a year.
Do you really think that the “strength and conditioning” coach for an NFL football team is doing much? These guys have been lifting weights for most of their life - do you think that all of a sudden some new guy in their life is doing much more than being a spotter and going “all you, man! All you!”
Yes.
Lifting is one thing. Strength training for a specific sport’s performance most elite level without injury or overtraining is another.
Yes, I imagine it’s quite a challenging job. You are working with 50 people of varying body types, who require different training regimens based on their position. A lot of them will also be recovering from injuries while exercising.
Sheesh. Try to be irreverent…
Sorry folks.
I think I’d rather just get a million dollars and not pay taxes.
As I recall, that was Li’l Abner’s job. So it pays at least well enough to make a living in Dogpatch.
As the guy who sits at the end of the table & passes gas!
U.S. Senator. They are paid millions to do as little as possible.
Actually, $174k/year is the annual salary.
A pittance compared to the money shoveled into their campaign chests or the profits made with insider information or the value of favors from the extremely wealthy.
And racing marshal (though we get to tell bad jokes and stories between the moments of panic).
Are Senators really doing that little? Even when there’s gridlock they’ve gotta be doing something, right? Talking to lobbyists, reconciling budgets, sitting through long meetings, even campaigning. It all sounds exhausting.
Hot Woman on OnlyFans
As we’ve seen, millions of men will shovel cash into their coffeers for a single picture a day, almost always at some fancy resort their previous donations bought them. So in essence they’re literally being paid to take pictures on a vacation.
Political Commentator with their own platform would be my second.
Can you imagine being paid just to spout your political opinions you already have? Get a radio show or a podcast and tens of millions of people will listen to you every single day to hear your opinions on things they already know your stance on. And you can make up opinions you don’t actually have if you really don’t care!
There’s the guy who plays the bugle call at the start of each horse race. I’m not sure what the buglers are paid but their workload for the day is about 10 six-second recitals.
The last time I was at Del Mar (decades ago) the bugle player (dressed mariachi-style) would blow “First Call” at the finish line and then scramble to the betting windows to place his bet. Every single race!
You know that LLLLLET’S GET READY TO RRRRUMBLE! guy? Him. Wikipedia says he’s made $400 million with that catchphrase.
Interestingly, his half brother, Bruce, does the announcing for UFC fights.
CEO of Altaba
I did a deep dive into this a few years ago. Due to the peculiarities of how Yahoo was structured, it had substantial stakes in other tech companies, most notably Alibaba, that complicated any potential acquisition. When Verizon bought Yahoo, what technically happened was a brand new company was formed and all of Yahoo’s operational assets were transferred into it and whatever rump remaining was renamed “Altaba” and is the technical continuation of the Yahoo corporation and was worth ~$40B at the time of the spinout.
The new CEO of Altaba was Thomas J. McInerney and according to SEC filings, he was being paid $2M a year for that role. The new CEO as of 2022 is Alexi Wellman who is being paid $875K a year + a $3M golden handcuff for a company that’s already finished disbursing all of its assets.
I tried desperately at the time to find some indication of what like, the day to day of an altaba CEO actually involved beyond just walking into the office and being like “yup, our giant pile of assets is still there, unchanged same as every other day”.
It seemed like one of those ultimate do-nothing jobs that are generated among the cracks of late capitalism.
I read somewhere that George Plimpton, the writer who tried out odd jobs like playing with the Detroit Lions (Paper LIon) did this once. He said it was worse than football. He needed to hit the drum or percussion instrument only once, but he had to stayed focused the entire piece to not miss it, which would be very obvious.
As for Vanna, you know how much time that woman must spend in the gym? No thanks!
I think the “just where you just go to meetings” meme can be misleading.
In my current role, most of my important responsibilities concern meetings and responding in shared documents or online chat (very few discussions happen by email now). But I am extremely busy as all this requires expert knowledge of the product, the market, and what all the teams are doing, and making insightful decisions and suggestions.
I’m typing this at midnight, after just finishing up my preparation for a particularly intense day tomorrow (well, today).
I don’t doubt that there are people who just have a couple meetings a week and could go golfing the rest of the time.
But, for the most part, if you’re imagining middle-management as sipping coffee while talking nebulously about “ducks in a row”, you’re probably in for a shock.