Joe the Plumber Becomes Joe the War Correspondent

[Colibri]

@UncaStuart

I agree that it can be hard to tell :), so I propose, in a blatant rip-off of Poe’s Law, that we have Joe’s Law:
“Without a winking smiley or other blatant display of humor, it is impossible to create a parody of ‘Joe the Plumber’ that SOMEONE won’t mistake for the real thing.”

Yup. When someone’s career is comprised mainly of “You can’t make this shit up” stories, when you do make something up, it’s impossible to tell the difference.

[Gangster_Octopus]

Do folks realize how big of a headache I had after dumbing myself down to write that??

I wrote a longer version on DKOS I will re-publish here. Note: This is fake (although some on DKOS thought it was real):

Israel is a country in the Middle East with other countries that do not like it. It was founded in 1948 when Jews who were killed by Adolf Hitler immigrated there. Palestinians and Jews are fighting because they are different religons, neither of which is Christian. There is a group called Hamas, named after a local delicacy of chick peas and garlic, that I have not tried for fear of being poisoned. Hamas is attacking Israel and Israel is attacking back. I am pretty sure Hamas is the same thing as Al Qaeda. War is pretty interesting, except for the innocent dying. But what are you going to do.

They have been fighting for 60 years and it is an intact…intractab…it is very messy.

The weather here is very nice, it is dry and not too warm. The Mediterranean is nearby and I could go to Greece or Italy very easily if I feel like my life is danger here at the Jerusalem Hilton. Luckily the fighting is far away in a place called Gaza. I know it sounds made up but it is real because it was in Wikipedia.

There are jet planes and missiles which are very effective and pretty cool, but it is unfortunate that some people are dying. Israel is very modern and I like the people despite the fact that they killed Jesus. That was a long time ago and at least they are not Muslim.

I talked with an Israeli soldier who told me where I might find a good burger. But it wasn’t that good actually, it was kind of dry and there was no bacon, ha ha ha. In case you didn’t know Jewish folks cannot eat Pork, like bacon and Ham. But most importantly bacon, which is pretty much insane. God Bless America.

[Skald_the_Rhymer]

@wring

Maybe he can take Paris Hilton with him?

Paris redeemed herself with her ad mocking McCain during the campaign. Well, not ENTIRELY, but sufficiently so that she should not be saddled with the likes of J the P.

[Moirai]

Paris Hilton… saddle… Joe the Plumber…

No, mustn’t…

:eek:

[Alienhand]

@EJsGirl

Paris Hilton… saddle… Joe the Plumber…

No, mustn’t…

:eek:

I’m going to be sick.

[Voyager]

@tdn

The Jews are fighting over those Japanese knives?

That’s Ginzu. Ginza is where the JAPs from Longgggg Island go shopping when visiting Tokyo. If they have the yen for it, that is.

[Fish]

Look on the bright side: it would be the only time a returning American coffin would get any TV time.

[BJMoose]

@EJsGirl

Paris Hilton… saddle… Joe the Plumber…

No, mustn’t…

:eek:

There’s a Plumber’s Helper joke in there somewhere. . . .

[Death_of_Rats]

@tdn

The Jews are fighting over those Japanese knives?

Well, have you seen the ads for them? They are well worth a few hundred deaths and a couple easy payments of $19.99!

[OttoDaFe]

Only nitpick I can make about the news release by [DEL]Joe the Plumber[/DEL] Gangster Octopus is that the correspondent probably didn’t look up Gaza in Wikipedia ('cause that’s infested by liberals). He most likely did his research on Conservapedia, you betcha!

[kaylasdad99]

@Gangster_Octopus

Do folks realize how big of a headache I had after dumbing myself down to write that??

I wrote a longer version on DKOS I will re-publish here. Note: This is fake (although some on DKOS thought it was real):

Israel is a country in the Middle East with other countries that do not like it. It was founded in 1948 when Jews who were killed by Adolf Hitler immigrated there. Palestinians and Jews are fighting because they are different religons, neither of which is Christian. There is a group called Hamas, named after a local delicacy of chick peas and garlic, that I have not tried for fear of being poisoned. Hamas is attacking Israel and Israel is attacking back. I am pretty sure Hamas is the same thing as Al Qaeda. War is pretty interesting, except for the innocent dying. But what are you going to do.

They have been fighting for 60 years and it is an intact…intractab…it is very messy.

The weather here is very nice, it is dry and not too warm. The Mediterranean is nearby and I could go to Greece or Italy very easily if I feel like my life is danger here at the Jerusalem Hilton. Luckily the fighting is far away in a place called Gaza. I know it sounds made up but it is real because it was in Wikipedia.

There are jet planes and missiles which are very effective and pretty cool, but it is unfortunate that some people are dying. Israel is very modern and I like the people despite the fact that they killed Jesus. That was a long time ago and at least they are not Muslim.

I talked with an Israeli soldier who told me where I might find a good burger. But it wasn’t that good actually, it was kind of dry and there was no bacon, ha ha ha. In case you didn’t know Jewish folks cannot eat Pork, like bacon and Ham. But most importantly bacon, which is pretty much insane. God Bless America.

Priceless.

So are you going to provide a link to the posting and its responses, or are you just going to make us go over there and wade through the entire site, trying to find it?

[Tuckerfan]

@OttoDaFe

Only nitpick I can make about the news release by [DEL]Joe the Plumber[/DEL] Gangster Octopus is that the correspondent probably didn’t look up Gaza in Wikipedia ('cause that’s infested by liberals). He most likely did his research on Conservapedia, you betcha!

Frankly, I can’t imagine that he’s savvy enough to know about either of those.

[George_Kaplin]

@BJMoose

There’s a Plumber’s Helper joke in there somewhere. . . .

There’s certainly a pipelayer joke

[elucidator]

No, there is not. We have standards.

[Euphonious_Polemic]

@elucidator

No, there is not. We have standards.

Well, we had them. Someone left them behind the couch cushions, and I think I sat on them. Sorry.

[kaylasdad99]

@elucidator

No, there is not. We have standards.

Yabbut, I always thought we mostly used those for those necktie parties you’re always ordering…

[Captain_Carrot]

@elucidator

No, there is not. We have standards.

Since when?

[Shot_Clock]

I wonder how much of our tax money we’ll have to spend for this guy’s ransom after he gets kidnapped and the videos appear of him with a machete held over his head.

I can’t help but think that John McCain is watching FoxNews this morning, seeing Joe the Ambassador heading off to start an international incident, listening to Gov. Palin expound on how she was victimized by the Damned Liberal Media, and thinking of Col. Nicholson’s line at the end of Bridge on the River Kwai:

“My God. What have I done?”

[RickJay]

@Shot_Clock

I wonder how much of our tax money we’ll have to spend for this guy’s ransom after he gets kidnapped and the videos appear of him with a machete held over his head.

“Praise Allah the Merciful, Allah the Magnificent, whose prophet is the blessed Muhammad. We have captured this American dog, and will send him back to you, and we will give you ten million dollars if you will take him back, and promise friendship to Israel forever, if only you will agree. Do this in 48 hours, or we will use this machete to behead ourselves! Please, please take him!”

[furt]

Why, exactly, do people have a problem with this? Bias, lack of qualification, what?

It’s probably safe to say that Wuerzelbacher does not have any formal expertise in middle eastern affairs; but let’s assume he’s done some reading and is as informed as anyone else here. Would YOU be unqualified to do this. If CNN wanted an average person’s take on the Middle East, would you decline?

It’s not as if the network correspondants we already have are either experts in the region or free from opinion. I fail to see why this guy is any different. I won’t be watching him, but why is everyone here so determined that nobody should?