John Holmes and Urinary Tract Infections

My private life has been the subject of many threads lately, but I don’t mind since the chances of us knowingly crossing paths is pretty slim.

My wife and I have a plethora of sex toys that we have purchased over the last few years. One I got via mail order and did not know how big it was going to be. It was a life-size John Holmes dildo. THIS CAN’T BE REAL!!! But it seems to be. At first my wife was “no way in Hell”, but… one night we had a little to drink and decided to try it. It turned out great.

Now the problem is everytime we use it she gets a burning sensation when she has to urinate. She goes to the doctor and she tells me she has a Urinary Tract Infection (UTI).

Yes, we do clean it both before and after each use, exactly as recommended (hot soap and water). We also use other toys and don’t believe they have caused problems.

Is it possible this toy causes UTI’s? Or could there be some other reason behind this (another problem)?

DISCLAIMER:::::::: I AM NOT ASKING FOR MEDICAL ADVICE. I am asking for facts regarding oversized toys, sex toys, sex in general, and the known relationship of infections.

What do you mean----“But I don’t mind since the chances of us knowingly crossing paths is pretty slim.”

Don’t you see me outside your house in that rag top jag, waving like a 2006 dairy princess?

Any vigorous manipulation of the urethra in a female can drive bacteria up said channel and into the bladder, causing an infection. This includes such things as tampons, fingers, penises, and toys.

There is some evidence that larger toys raise the risk, as does length of time that the toy is used.

Tips: Empty the bladder fully both before and after using such equipment, push fluids to ensure further emptying a short time later, and consider a good 8 ounce dose of cranberry juice before such activities too, as a chemical in cranberry juice tends to keep bacteria from adhering to the bladder wall.

YMMV, it’s not an area where a whole lot of controlled medical research has been done.


That was you?

Wow, QtM, you really do know everything.

My generation of physicians is quite conversant about sex, drugs, and hearing loss due to noise exposure. That’s what happens when a lot of your patients are ageing boomers! :slight_smile:

I wish you were my doctor! My doctor is this little Russian man who is very cute but reminds me of the White Rabbit from Alice - “I’m late! I’m late!” I.e., always rushing from one place to another.

Wow, thanks! Of course we do not use the whole length of the John Holmes ‘toy’ so it does not go in deeper than say a normal 8" toy. Would the girth have anything to do with it?

It seems that with the other toys nothing else has happened, and we use those often.

I would expect the girth to be a significant factor. The bigger it is, the more backpressure on the urethra.

Oh, and if the problem still occurs despite suggested precautions, a thorough gyn exam (by a license health professional like an MD or NP), combined with/or just giving up that toy would be reasonable responses.

You would have to kill her first.

Just wait until next weeks bridge game with your mom…She’s gonna be so proud.

Not to hijack, but how much of the toy was left, having already consumed 8"? It being a “life-size” model, I’d heard most estimates of Holmes’ size (up to 16"!) were mythical, that he wasn’t much more than around 10", more or less.

Even so, nothing to sneeze at.

I was saying we use other toys, normal sized of around eight inches and they cause no problems.

We put about 2/5th of the toy in her, but sloooowwwwly. The ‘life-size’ model is about 14" long. But the key is not the length, it is the GIRTH :eek: . Mythical or not, it is sure amazing to watch.

Holmes’ endowment wasn’t mythical. I’ve seen some of his movies. 14" and as big around as my wrist! Of course, it never seemed to get rock-hard…I don’t think it could without him passing out from lack of blood flow to the other brain.

I’ve been a little curious about cranberry juice and UTIs for a little while, but have been wary of the “don’t ask for medical advice” rule here (and am not curious enough to call my doc) – if you think I’m crossing that line, I apologize and will understand. But if not:[ul][li]Would drinking another 8oz afterwards be of any benefit (aside from the diuretic effect)? [/li][li]Does regular consumption of cranberry juice help, or is it the timing of consumption/activity that does the trick?[/li][li]Are the UTI-preventing qualities of cranberry juice present in any other juice/food?[/ul][/li]I know that drinking cranberry juice is no guarantee of UTI prevention, but it’s advice that I hear frequently from medical professionals – and I’m somewhat prone to them (UTIs, not medical professionals), so every little bit helps! :slight_smile:

Misnomer, my answer to all your questions is “I don’t really know”.

For years, it was felt that the effect of the juice was via its acidification of urine. But lately research has indicated that cranberry juice contains proanthocyanidins that appear to inhibit the attachment of pathogens to uroepithelium.

It’s recommended as a prophylactic measure, not to treat an active infection.

My guess would be that it’d be most effective to have the proanthocyanidins present in the bladder when the risk is greatest, ie when the toy is being used. But that’s all it is, a guess.

Me too! My doc looks like he’s 12… and I’m only 38!

So your doc is Doogie Howser? Sweet.
(So that’s why he became a doctor at such a young age!)

Thanks, QtM – your “I don’t really know” was still more than I knew! :slight_smile: