Hamster?
Unless friendly fire is involved.
If only Senator Kennedy were running that wouldn’t be a difficulty.
The NY Times has uncovered a record of discount employee meals given out that day which indicate that Paulline O’Doull, the former dishwasher at the center of the John Kerry “Applegate” controversy was comped a lunch which consisted of a tuna fish croissant and a side of fruit salad. A check of the Capitol Cafeteria’s recipe archives confirms that the cafeteria’s fruit salad recipe from 1982 until the item was discontinued in 1991 did contain sliced apples.
O’Doull has publicly alleged that the Capitol did not serve sliced apples that day. When asked for comment as to why her own employee record says the she hereself consumed an item containing sliced apple that day, O’Doull suggested that Kerry himself had falsified the record at the time by writing that O’Doull had ordered fruit salad instead of applesauce.
“I never saw an apple,” said O’Doull. I saw the sauce and I saw the juice but I am certain there were no slice apples. I believe that John Kerry himself altered my employee record that day to make himself look like a hero."
O’Doull had no explanation as to why Senator Hecht would lie about the kitchen serving sliced apples that day, nor did she have an explanation as to why both chefs who were working that day have said that they always had fruit salad during lunch in 1988, and she had no comment regarding Emmanuel Ortiz, a former busboy who says he remembers scraping bits of the partially chewed apple off of the hallway wall and mopping the floor after the incident.
“I know what I saw that day,” said O’Doull. “That’s all I’m saying.”
Last week, O’Doull admitted that she has accepted more than $300 in cash and cigarettes from prominent Republican boosters but denied that the boosters were involved with her recent hiring as a receptionist at the Energy Department.
“I got that totally on my own,” said O’Doull. “All they did was just get me the interview.”
(Bolding mine)
Pointed stick? Oh, oh, oh. We want to learn how to defend ourselves against pointed sticks, do we? Getting all high and mighty, eh? Fresh fruit not good enough for you eh? Well I’ll tell you something my lad. When you’re walking home tonight and some great homicidal maniac comes after you with a bunch of loganberries, don’t come crying to me!
Rove would have double-checked first to make sure the guy was a Republican.
It concerns a story John Kerry’s daughter told at the convention.
That was an IKEA shot. Cheap, but good! 
Suppose he’s got a pretzel!
I imagine it’s taking Edwards all the strength he has not to call Hecht to ask if he was injured during the harrowing ordeal and would like to sue.
I thought those records had been lost. At least, the originals; the only copy I’ve seen had all the nutrition information blacked out with a Sharpie.
Heh. Good one.
They were removed from the cafeteria…
In someone’s sock…
I get the parallel that’s being drawn, I just disagree with it.
Kerry - performs Heimlich manuver and saves a choking man
Bush - allows 7 minutes to elapse before reacting to 9/11
I just don’t see the two as analogous.
Well, isn’t the manuever rather similar to that practice known as a “reacharound”? While Kerry thrusts his loins against Hecht’s buttocks? And wasn’t he in the Navy?
Not that it means anything. I’m just saying.
Well then, it is very simple, one then has to bring one of the many examples the glorious fearless misleader has of saving a fellow human being…
… Of course, I can think only of examples where the crony put others at risk, so: never mind.
Neither do I, beyond deserved admiration for quick thinking and reaction in a tense moment. A geezer horking up food stuck in his windpipe isn’t comparable to a concerted attack on the country. But I’ll willingly concede full props to Kerry for prompt, effective action anyway. At least these sound bytes have some basis in reality.
Though I wonder how differently the situation would have played out if the geezer had horked up, say, the famed Senate Bean Soup instead of a tidy apple slice.
Veb
If only it were a “freedom fry”…
In later developments today, Sen. John Kerry, at a hastily called news conference, refuted the allegations of Ms. O’Doull. “I did not put my apple slice in that man’s sauce,” he told reporters and his staff. Mrs. Heinz-Kerry is planning a tour of the morning news shows to denounce the “right wing catering conspiracy” by Republicans who are trying to cook her husband’s goose. When asked by FOX News for a cite , the reporter in question was told to “Shove it!”
In a corresponding story, a new lexicon has hit the bookstores. It offers some fresh new meaning to some tired old Republican definitions. An excerpt:
flip-flop verb : the ability to think for oneself and take a better course of action when complete information is made available; syn: critical thinking ant: “cowboy logic” or the inability to renegotiate a course of action in the face of new information.
The book, A Republican’s Guide to Lucid Thinking , is predicted by the NY Times to be a bestseller this fall.
I’d rather not have a President that thinks giving the Heimlich maneuver to a building will cure a plane crash.
Did Kerry vote for the Heimlich maneuver before he voted against it? Just wondering, is all.