Is there anyone out there in cyberland that can tell my why this bloated asshole is still on the air? I know NO ONE who likes this guy! Christ, he’s annoying! I think Pat Summerall is either a saint or an idiot… how he doesn’t push this abrasive, simple-minded fuck out of the booth is beyond me. Everytime I hear his voice, I want to cringe. It’s like a piece of chalk on a blackboard. OK, John… we KNOW you have an All-Madden team… we KNOW you have the Madden Cruiser… we KNOW that a hometown guy with the name MOOSE is not really getting booed… and you don’t have to repeat every fucking thing 40 fucking times… “BOOM! He runs up through there! BOOM! He runs up through there!” FUCKYOUFUCKYOUFUCKYOU!
Oh, and one more thing… I dream of meeting him someday… and if I do, I’m going to take that damn tv pen of his and shove it up his fat ass!
Sorry. I feel better. I’m going to go to work now… The mail must be sorted!
“You can see the quarterback right there, getting the ball. It was snapped to him, and now he steps back to throw. Wow! And there goes the ball. Bang! See, there it is. It has to be where it is. There’s the other guy instead. Splat. We talked about this on the bus over here. They need to score points. If they don’t score enough, they’re gonna lose.
Where we gonna be next week Pat?”
Anyone else notice Summerall has been slipping this season, too? Getting players, scores, calls, etc. wrong more than I’ve ever heard in the past.
Still love his announcing voice, though. It says “big game.” Y’all are right about Madden and his non-analytical analysis. Along with my last boss, he’s the biggest fake “getting away with it” in the country.
“In much wisdom is much grief; and he that increaseth knowledge increaseth sorrow.” - Ecclesiastes 1:18
SO and I were terribly afraid that we were experiencing a group hallucination, but honest to God, I swear we heard that moron say “Bobble is a fun word to say”…
My favorite that I LOVE to torture my husband with numerous times per game:
“He knew where he had to go, and he GOT there”.
John Madden is an idiot, but I could just as easily wish Jerry Glanville into the cornfield. Both complete babbling idiots.
Love is like popsicles…you get too much you get too high.
Madden is a bombastic loudmouth sometimes, but he is amusing and I would certainly take him over some of the younger guys who can’t stop talking about themselves and when they were a player at this or that postition.
They need to get rid of Summerall, though. He is clearly going senile in a hurry. Next season he will probably start forgetting which teams he is watching.
My all time favorite Madden-ism:
Periodically, when making a point about how tough the guys are, he will say,
“Look, all these guys down there are football players.”
Hmmmm… And, the “No kidding” factor is not limited to just Madden. Just about every color commentator, play by play man, studio analyst, etc, has at one point or another said, “To win, you’ve got to score points.” And you know, they’re right.
I don’t even watch football much and Madden drives me nuts. Last time I heard him, I was in a bar and there was a game on, and others were bad-mouthing him too. He always has to have the last word, even if it’s gratuitous and redundant. Summerall made a comment that was useful and required no follow-up or response, but of course Madden had to repeat it in his own words like HE was the big expert. God I wanted to strangle him.
Rules for the John Madden Drinking Game.
Warning:do not attempt this unless you have a large alcohol tolerance, lots of free time, and a place where you can watch tv and get utterly trashed without anyone minding. Non-college students need not apply.
Every time John Madden says something incredibly redundant, drink. “He threw the ball”, “He runs there” etc.
Every time the light pencil is used to hi-light, outline, or diagram something completely obvious, drink. (such as the path the ball took, or who just tackled the quarterback.)
Every time he says “Boom” drink.
It might be a good idea to not take very large drinks though…just a suggestion. Have fun!
I never watch football, and I’d never even heard of John Madden until a couple of semesters ago, when this stand-up comedian came to my college and, among other things, did a hilarious John Madden impression. As I said, I’d never heard of him, and it was still hilarious: “He just says the dumbest things! Once I heard him say ‘Now there’s a guy, you know, when he gets to running, he goes faster!’ I swear to God, he actually said that. When he gets running, he goes faster. And when he eats a lot, he takes a big dump afterward…” He had a few things to say about Pat Summerall, too. “He’s got this great voice, and it just goes to waste. ‘He’s at the FORTY yard line… he’s at the FIFTY yard line… he’s at the SIXTY yard line…’” A couple weeks later, I went to visit my father. He was watching a football game with those two announcers, and I discovered just how dead-on the impersonations were. I almost keeled over laughing, and then I just had to explain why.
An infinite number of rednecks in an infinite number of pickup trucks shooting an infinite number of shotguns at an infinite number of road signs will eventually produce all the world’s great works of literature in Braille.
Additional rules:
(I’m just overflowing with creativity today…)
4. Every time John Madden makes a prediction( one that isn’t blindingly obvious to everyone watching, and hence doesn’t fall under rule number 1) everyone must pour a bit of their drink into a common cup kept in front of the television.
5. If John Madden makes a prediction that turns out to be true, the last person to realise this and take a drink must drain the common cup.
Oh, they are all pretty bad. Teh players, the coaches and the announcers are all plattitude machines. “they came here to play” “Giving 110%” “that’s how you win football games” oh and how about teh need to explain instant replay every single time a call is questioned. Like it is a tough concept.
Ah, sweet vindication! I was afraid I was losing it. (Ok, I lost it.) But swear to God, I almost threw the TV out the window. I love the Madden drinking game! I can’t wait to play it… every time you take a drink, you have to say “Boom!”
I’d also like to shove that 20 legged Thanksgiving turkey up his ass… for crissakes… get a new gimmick, will ya?
To comment on some of the other posts… it IS truly sad to listen to Pat Summerall. He has lost his faculties somewhat, but I figure I would be a rubberhead too if I spent the last 15 years of my life sitting next to The Winter Warlock without being allowed to turn to him JUST ONCE and say “shut the fuck up you inane bastard! I’m sick of watching Dallas Cowboy games! Just because you are afraid to fly doesn’t mean I don’t want to go somewhere else to watch a game!” So I cut him some slack.
And what is up with the pregame shows on both networks? Are all of those guys on uppers or what? Jerry Glanville? Jezus… what an embarrassment… and Randy “How much does my head weigh?” Cross just scares the crapola out of me… I can’t figure out where they hide the bolts in his neck. Craig James looks like someone is constantly tickling his ass with a feather… Bradshaw, Howie, and Collinsworth should all be taken out back and beaten with a rubber hose.
Finally, Dan Deirdorf… what a pompous fuck. I never thought I’d see the day when I’d look forward to Beasley Reece doing a game.
(You’d think I’d be tolerant of bad announcers… I grew up listening to Myron Cope call Steeler games… oy!)