John Major: The Dick Diggler of UK politics ? Matron !!!......

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
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Lock up yer daughters ! Matron, bolt the doors ! :eek: Who needs the French when we’ve got that epitome of Mr Hunter-Gatherer; the testosterone driven, loin-girding, shag-happy former PM John Major pole-vaulting crumpet at every turn.

I don’t know about everyone else but I’m finding my perceptions of reality under severe pressure of late. On the back of everything Iraq, revelations by Edwina Curry now ask us to accept John Major, out former PM and self-styled moral crusader, was an adulterous, three-hours-a-pop stud muffin: “That was some going” she claims to have told him.

Some going ! Three hours of thrashing around like two cod in a bucket with Edwina Curry, for crissakes. The man deserves a bloody Knighthood.

What do we make of it all – I’m afraid I’ve lost the plot on this one: Half the time I’m picking myself off the floor, the rest I’m swimming around in something akin to a George Bush invoked ‘perception change’ not-quite reality ?

I guess the thing that strikes me most is; Why ?

Why would Edwina Curry do this now. Sure, hell hath no fury…revenge is a dish…but, but , but…Let me get this straight:

Curry pursues Major
Curry seduces Major
She’s married
He’s married
He decides to end it
He tells his wife
Wife forgives him

14 years later…Curry reveals the affair and claims “hurt” and “devastation”. And picks up around £150,000 for her trouble for serialisation rights, plus whatever she makes on the book. I can’t believe she needs the money.

I think I read this as some kind of modern morality tale, but not in relation to John Major – the boy done wrong but bit the bullet and came clean…as it were: Does Edwina have serious attention/desirability ‘issues’ NB her sexually charged stable of around 10 ‘fiction’ books ? What about poor old Norma – bet she never thought she’d have to worry about Johnny playing away ? I feel so sad for her.

And also I feel ‘conflicted’. I’m glad I know because it has huge entertainment value but, ultimately, I wish I didn’t - it’s a bit like your Dad being revealed to the world as some amoral, cock happy fly-by-night.

For sure it’s hysterical from a tabloidy, gossipy POV but what on earth is this all about and is anyone else suffering generally from Adjusted Reality Syndrome at the moment …how permanent is this bizarro world ?

BTW, I find the general public reaction to be…interesting. People seem almost relieved that he had some life in him…

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It’s the second most disturbing image I’ve been exposed to this week (number one being Ross slapping flesh with Pauline in the new series of The League of Gentlemen). I daren’t imagine Major voicing his pleasure in the heat of passion.

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A pathetically obvious attempt to stir up interest in her diaries, released in October?

Where’s spitting image when you need them?

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Apparently, she never conceived because she had some trouble with her eggs.

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But you must admit that having an affair with Edwina Curry spiced up his life a bit.

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Horrible image.

As Gary says it’s a very obvious PR stunt at the expense of Norma. I see that herself is not that happy with some of Majors statements. Aaawwww poor Edwina.

Interesting to think of what would have happened if this had of come out when he was actually important.

The news did brighten up a hungover Saturday morning.

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An affair with a corpse would have spiced (Oh, I see) his life…

Crusoe - I don’t have a tv anymore (since I put the putter through the screen – nothing to do with confronting nicotine addiction you understand) so that imagery escaped me: Day 24. Hey, who’s counting!

Having said that, this sort of reminds me of that advert that comes on the teevee occasionally. The one where the family is sitting around the Dining Table tucking into something family-ish and Granny – clearly no longer in complete command of her faculties – announces out-of-the-blue to Grandson that Dad is “not your real dad”.

Deathly silence follows as Granny is led, staggering, out the room by Mother and before Dad finally surmises: “Good pud !”

Except this is a form of moral treachery …out of cult of personality. Ish.

Wonder what they got up to…no, no, lets not…Did he keep his socks on…bondage or better ?..

Anyone for taking Edwina from behind ?..may God help me…

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Jesus, L_C I’m getting ready to go down or lunch :wink:

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or = for

I’m NOT getting ready to do down on anyone but maybe JM did? Hmmmm kebabs for lunch.

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All I could think was, “Dear lord, I’m glad they took precautions.”

A Major-Currie hybrid is not something I want to contemplate (not while I’m sober, anyway).

(Of course, some tabloid rag - don’t remember which one, just saw the headline in the newsagents’ window - came up with an even more disturbing image: “At Least It Wasn’t Widdecombe”. Ugh)

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What with this shocking revelation, Jeffery Archer being sent back to a closed jail, and Neil Hamilton getting on TV in an exponential fashion, it’s a bad week for ex-Tories…

Bwooo haaa haa haaa haaa haaaa

God, though, can you imagine the pillow-talk?

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Is it still considered necrophilia if BOTH parties are dead?

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Did anyone hear the statements from other women on Radio 4 this morning, one of whom said words to the effect of “I was at a drinks party, and I felt these octopus arms slide around me from behind me, and someone nibbled on the back of my ear. I turned round to berate the person, and it was John Major.” :eek:

Ladies, control yourselves please.

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Thanks for putting that image in my head. Imagining the Spitting Image versions makes it a little less traumatising.

There was an article over the weekend that revisited some of the sex scenes in the her first book in the light of this new information.

Do not read any further if you are of a delicate consitution
There is apparently a passage involving the young (hah!), attractive (hah! again) backbencher and the silver-haired Tory whip spraying squirty cream and balancing strawberries on the end of his do-dah. Makes a change from peas, I suppose.

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I’m so distressed I can’t even spell her name…

*HARDER JOHN, HARDER…I’M YOURS… GIVE ME YOUR PRIVATE MEMBER…OH…OH… ORDER…ORDER…**ORDDDDEEERRRRRRRR !!! ***

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Anyone have a link to the Major story?

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Ummm… the best what? Purchase, access, bootliciousness? Some UK doper please decode this statement.

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You know, I’ve been dying to link to Martian FM for ages, and this seems like as good an opportunity as ever:

http://www.martian.fm/hansard.htm

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Sorry old chap! Link:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk_politics/2288073.stm - don’t be fooled. Mutton.
astro - no idea. I assume it’s a female thing
Oohh, just seen Gary’s link on preview…looks interesting…

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see yojimbo’s post