Jokes lost in the mists of time and language

In My Humble Opinion
1

When I was a kid, I loved riddle and joke books. I got most of them, but I’d stumble across a few that didn’t make any sense until I got older:

Tourist: “Excuse me, sir, but can you tell me how to get to Carnegie Hall?”

New Yorker: “Practice, man, practice”

This made no sense to me until I learned what Carnegie Hall was.

Another joke I like depends on knowing old slang:

In a courtroom, two people stand before the judge, the defendant, a man with bruises and cuts on his face and his arm in a sling, the plaintiff, a scantily clad woman.

Judge: “Sir, what did you do to make this woman mad?”

Man: “All I did was call her a name.”

Judge: “Is this true, miss?”

Woman: “Yes, Your Honor.”

Judge: “What did he call you?”

Woman: “A two-bit hooker.”

Judge: “What did you hit him with?”

Woman: “This bag of quarters.”
Now if you didn’t know that “two-bits” is slang for a quarter, this joke doesn’t work.

Do you have any jokes that the passing of time and language have killed?

2

I can think of hundreds that PC has killed. However I am not about to tell one and have a huge pile-on with me at the bottom or get dragged off to the PIT.

3

My father-in-law is from Scotland. I remember the first time he told me a joke, something about a kid who went behind the house for a fag, I almost choked on my drink until I remembered that a fag is a cigarette over there.

I can’t, for the life of me remember the joke though.

d

4

Shakespeare has any number of jokes obscured by changes in the language or unfamiliarity with the times. In the Straight Dope Classic article What’s the origin of the “F” word?, Cecil says:

5

I think the one for me was a T-Shirt design showing two vultures sitting on a branch. One turns to the other and says “Patience my ass, I’m gonna kill something!”

Now, that didn’t click with me for years, (I saw it when I was about twelve or thirteen) and, periodically (usually when discussing jokes :slight_smile: ), I would think about it and still puzzle.

Then one day in class, it just came to me and I was giggling like an idiot for about 10 minutes, mostly because I realised how blinkin’ obvious it was… sigh

6

When I was an obnoxious little kid and my mom was hounding me to do something like hurry up or get better grades, sometimes I’d whine, “I’m TRYYYYing!!!” To which dear old Mom would reply, rolling her eyes, “Yes, you’re VERY trying.”

Didn’t get that one till I was about 19.

7

The one that bothered me as a kid was
“Who’s bigger, Mr. Bigger or his baby?”
The answer “The baby, because he’s a little bigger” made no sense. I’d never heard of people calling Mr. Hanson’s kid a “little Hanson”, so the joke didn’t work.

8

Some sayings and meanings of words fading into obscurity, some faster than others, like Shakestaffe’s pun.

A full head of steam;
Firing on all eight;
Off your trolley;
Slipped a cam;
Dressed to the nines;
Ask the man who owns one;
Wouldn’t you really rather drive a _____;
Jerk-water town;
Whistle stop;
One-horse town;
Jitney;
Shinplasters;
Aching dogs;
Phonograph;
Graphophone;
78s;
Say goodnight Gracie.