What’s the difference between alto clef and Greek?
Some conductors actually read Greek.
You know you’re a music geek if you can hear an enharmonic modulation coming a mile away.
Why don’t jokes work in base 8?
Because 7 10 11.
A Higgs Bosun goes into a church. The priest sees him and says 'You can’t come in here so called God particle!". The Higgs bosun replies “But how can you have mass without me?”
Wanna hear a joke about Potassium?
K.
Wanna hear a joke about Sodium?
Na.
There’s got to be a way to work the naval reference in… 
Cute.
N/m
Overheard in the hotel cocktail lounge during a mathematician’s convention (forgive me if the formatting doesn’t work for you):
13
∫2xdx?
10
That one took me a moment. Then I went :smack:/
This lawn supervisor was out on a sprinkler maintenance job and he started working on a Findlay sprinkler head with a Langstrom 7″ gangly wrench. Just then, this little apprentice leaned over and said, “You can’t work on a Findlay sprinkler head with a Langstrom 7″ wrench.” Well this infuriated the supervisor, so he went and got Volume 14 of the Kinsley manual, and he reads to him and says, “The Langstrom 7″ wrench can be used with the Findlay sprocket.” Just then, the little apprentice leaned over and said, “It says sprocket not socket!”
Anna Held was a famous singer back in the early years of the twentieth century. Her signature song was “I Just Can’t Make My Eyes Behave”.
I learned this from the fine biography Anna Held and the Birth of Ziegfeld’s Broadway written by Eve Golden.
I can’t believe I guessed the answer before I solved the integral. I have to get a life.
69
Or it depends on the corvuture of the earth.
So it seems that during the cold war there were these polish dissidents that stole a small jet in hopes of escaping to Norway. As they crossed the German Border and started North, all the poles moved to the windows to get a final look at their beloved homeland. Unfortunately this weight shift caused the jet to veer wildly and the pilot who was not entirely familiar with the controls couldn’t compensate and crashed. In the crash investigation a mathematician described the situation succinctly as follows:
“Of course it was unstable. There were two many Poles on the right hand side of the complex plane.”
Were those plumbers supposed to be here tonight?
I get Schroedinger Letters. It the envelope might contain a bill, then the bill doesn’t occur until I open the envelope.
Why was Mrs. Heisenberg frustrated? Because when he had the time he didn’t exactly have the energy, and when he had the position he didn’t exactly have the momentum.
Taken from an episode of American Dad!
I actually heard this on a record by Bobby McFerrin and YoYo Ma, where they started performing Bach’s Musette in D Major and turned it into the intro to “Purple Haze.” Other than McFerrin and Ma, I’m probably the only person in the world who got the joke.
Haha! This is the first joke that uses the time/energy interpretation of the uncertainty principle that I’ve heard, and it’s so funny! Thanks for sharing.
On XKCD jokes that require specific knowledge, this one is my favorite, perhaps because just that day or the day before I’d been talking to my advisor and he somehow his Erdos number came up, so I found it particularly funny because of the timeliness.
ext{I let go of the shift key too early!!!!!} \lim_{x o 0} \frac{\sin(x)}{x}Here’s one of my own devising:
Tantalum walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender starts to hand it to him, then takes it away, starts to hand it to him, then takes it away, starts to hand it to him, then takes it away, starts to hand it to him, then takes it away …