Jokes the average person wouldn't get...

Have any jokes that so esoteric that most people would simply not get them (not counting inside jokes between a few friends)? I’ll submit a few:

How do Indians measure Pakistani resistance in Kashmir?
In "om"s!

How do you keep a computer programmer in the shower for a few hours?
Tell him to rinse and repeat!

And this page had me crying with laughter…

Why do programmers keep getting Christmas and Halloween mixed up?

Because Oct 31 = Dec 25

Linty, my SO dropped that one on me the other day.

He had to explain it.

I didn’t laugh.

So that’s definitely a good one!

Math joke:

What do you get if you cross an elephant with a plum?

Elephant plum sine theta.

What do you get if you cross an elephant with a mountain climber?

You can’t; a mountain climber is a scaler.

Hey Palve, good to see you back. Linty Fresh: terrific username, very funny joke. Welcome to the boards.

'Nother math joke:

Wal-mart is a mark-off chain.

Maslow and Piaget are walking down the street, and pass by a bar. Maslow says “Man I need a drink”. Piaget says “No it’s too early”.

chess jokes:

  1. two Antarctic scientists are playing postal chess via dog sled. One doesn’t hear anything for a while and gets worried.
    Then a dog sled rushes up.
    The message:

2.‘fianchettoed queen’s bishop in algebraic’ or not ‘fianchettoed queen’s bishop in algebraic’, that is the question :eek:

Hey I got that! Does that mean I’m above average, or merely a nerd? :smiley:

Very funny!

So Descartes walks into a bar.

The bartender says, “Hey, Renee! Care for a beer?”

Descartes replies, “I think not.”

And he vanishes! :eek:

Have you heard my Goethe impression: “Take my soul, please.”

if you got both, you’re a chess player!

Of course chess players are above average (and pretty nerdy too!)

However, I’m clearly a below-average chess player :slight_smile:

I’m a good chess teacher though. I’m so good I get beat by 4th and 5th graders on a fairly regular basis. :smack:

A friend and I were sitting in an outdoor cafe, and he was making a reference to a nearby hedge. The conversation then turned to how one distinguishes between a hedge and a bush, to which I replied “hedges have edges, and bushes are round…”. We both thought it was clever (and, strangely, hilarious) at the time.

“How many surrealist does it take to change a light bulb?”

“The fish”

Semper ubi sub ubi.

What do you get if you cross a mosquito with a mountain climber?

You can’t cross a scalar and a vector.

A soapmaker’s one-liner:

I’m not overweight, I’m just superfatted to 30%.

Oh man, that just cracks me up…

Another one for the computer geeks:

Q: What’s the difference between impressionism and realism?

A: Bigger pixels
And one for the classics majors, my favorite Literary Elephant Joke ™:
Q: What was big and grey and was the father of Alexandar the Great?

A: Phillip of Mastodon
you see, Alexander the Great’s father was Phillip of Macedon…

The Great Flood is over and Noah’s ark has settled into dry earth. Noah tells the animals to “Go forth and multiply!”.

A few months later while Noah is taking a walk he notices that all the animals have babies save one pair of small snakes. The snakes say to Noah, “Please, cut down some trees for us.”

Noah cuts down a couple trees and goes back home wondering why the snakes made such a strange request. A couple weeks later his curiosity gets the better of him and he goes out to find the snakes with lots of little baby snakes. “What happened?” asks Noah.

“We’re adders,” the snakes say. “So we need logs to multiply.”