I love this joke!
Ok, I am going to post a joke that I heard here and it has irritated me more that just about any joke I have ever heard.
Two nuns are in a communal shower. One says “Where’s the soap”. The other replies “Doesn’t it?”
I think this joke is British. I hope it is more obvious over there.
Please explain! It’s killing me!
Only thing I can think of is “Wears the soap” which seems to possibly be a reference to pubic hair. The problem is, I’m not sure which definition of “wears” to think of: wears, as in erodes, or wears as in “wears clothing” type thing…
I’d never heard this joke before, but my first thought is that it’s a pun on where/wear, as in:
Nun 1: it wears [down] the soap
Nun 2: doesn’t it?
…the idea being that the nuns are using the soap to masturbate. Googling for “where’s the soap” and “doesn’t it”, I hit this (reasonably SFW) page as the first link, which makes me think I’m right.
Of course, I also found this page which contains a whole list of variations on this joke that I don’t get — I have no idea what the “no soap, radio” is meant to sound like and/or reference.
Congratulation, you got it.
I chimed in to explain
wears the soap due to vigourous scrubbing, i.e. masturbating - the humour deriving from the image of a nun masturbating - of course a nun cuz she’s otherwise getting none, and also the clash of the innocent question receiving a none-too-innocent reply - funnier still if you imagine the first nun wasn’t expecting that kind of answer
but was beat to it. I’ll leave the above as further clarification/confirmation.
To redeem this simul, I’ll add:
An old lady quietly approaches a pharmacist and whispers, “I’d like to buy a vibrator.” The understanding pharmacists discreetly gestures the univerisal “follow me” and says “Come this way!.” Old lady responds loudly: “If I could come this way I wouldn’t need a damned vibrator!”
(better pantomimed)
As for the “no soap radio” the humour of this joke…
and I use the word “humour” lightly, is similar to the why did the chicken cross the road joke. It has the set up that follows the classic style then whips out a bit of nonsense. Funny, eh?
Damn the simuls revealed through preview… I’m posting anyways…
Yeah, I’m thinking that the inclusion of the nuns joke on the “No soap, radio” page (and it is there) was likely in error, since there is the masturbation angle on the nuns joke, whereas just about everything else on that page I linked was of the absurdist/anti-humor bent. (Maybe the presence of soap in the joke confused them?)
They did this on an episode of NewsRadio, back in (IIRC), the first season. Bill McNeal tried to quit smoking using the patch and just kept putting them on without removing the old one. He eventually passed out and they had to call the paramedics. He had them all around his waist like a belt.
Reuters - A small two-seater Cessna 152 plane crashed into a cemetery early this afternoon in (insert your favorite country). Search and rescue workers have recovered 300 bodies so far and expect that number to climb as digging continues into the evening.
Gorbachev is hard at work on his country’s budget. His secretary
knocks on the door. “Mr. Secretary, the–”
“Not now, I’m busy!”
“But…”
“Nyet! Come back in two hours.”
Thirty seconds later, she knocks again. “Mr. Secretary, the
phone… you must answer it.”
“Can’t you see I’m working on the budget?! I must have silence.
Have them call back tomorrow.”
“But Mr. Secretary, it’s Mr. Bush on the phone. He says he has 5
billion dollars for you, and you don’t have to pay any of it back!”
Gorbachev smiles and picks up the phone. “Hello, Neil…”
Neil Bush was involved in the 1980s savings & loan scandals which cost taxpayers several billion dollars.
Two drums and a cymbal fall out of the window…
Ba dum, pshhhh!
When I did tech support, way back in the olden days, we sometimes had to tell users DOS commands to type in. And the phones we had were horrible, so sometimes you couldn’t always hear exactly what was said.
One of the commands we’d often ask people to type was “$P$G.” I’d often tell people to “type in dollar-sign pee, dollar-sign gee. Pee, as in psychology, gee, as in gnome.”
Didn’t raise an eyebrow. Ever.
A guy’s reading the paper and sees a mysteriously phrased ad “Free! Find Out Who You Are!” He writes down the address provided and stuffs it in his pocket. A few days later, having forgotten about it, rediscovers the paper, recalls the ad and he decides later that evening to visit the address.
He arrives, and above the door is a sign that merely says “Enter” He does and is presented with two doors one labelled “Ladies” the other “Gentlemen” He walks through the latter and there sees three doors, “Child” “Adult” “Elderly” - chooses the middle of the three. “Employed” “Unemployed” Next is “Left Leaning” “Centrist” “Right Wing” Followed by… a whole series of choices of doors. Just when he was wondering when would it end, he sees three doors “Religious” “Agnostic” “Athiest”. He walks through “Agnostic” and finds himself on the street.
Upon squirting out the first new squirt of an extremely high SPF sunscreen:
"Damn. [male partner’s name]'s second load is thicker than that.
FTR, another Doper said that. I won’t mention the name but he knows who he is. 
I don’t get it.
If you’re an agnostic then you haven’t committed yourself either to religion, not to unbelieving, hence you still don’t know who you are, the others presumably end up some place with like minded folk.ie, Spiritually you’re a nobody.
A penguin walks into a bar asks the barkeep,
"Did you see my brother here a an hour ago "?
“What’d he look like”?