Jokes that take time to sink in

[control-z]

Oooh! I get it! I get jokes… ahahahahahahaha

[Kythereia]

@Kalhoun

Old Italian guy comes to America and wins the lottery. He decides to have a beautiful mansion built. He tells the builder he wants a statue in every room.

So the mansion is finally completed. After months of scouring the world, the statues are all put in place.

The old Italian guy walks in, looks around and goes into a rage. “Ima tell you I wanna da statue in every-a room-a. I look around I no see-a no statue!”

The builder says, “What are you talking about? I’ve gone to the ends of the Earth and found original Picassos, DaVincis, and all the other statues that are considered to be the most beautiful in all the world!”

The old Italian guy says, “No! No! I’m a-lookin’-a for a STATUE!” (mimes the dialing of a phone and holds his hand up to his ear) “Hello! Statue?”

…I think I get it, but I’m not sure…

scratches head

[YaWanna]

I get hung up on the fact that DaVinci & Picasso are not known for their sculpture work - they are famous as painters.

But I get all the jokes so far.

[Improv_Geek]

[…]

What do you call that show? [beat] The Aristocrats!

[Inigo_Montoya]

It’s an audio. “Hello, is that you?” = Hollow statue?

[Kalhoun]

@YaWanna

I get hung up on the fact that DaVinci & Picasso are not known for their sculpture work - they are famous as painters.

But I get all the jokes so far.

I probably could have used more recognizable examples of sculpture (though you don’t get much more famous than the Picasso sculpture in Chicago), but it’s irrelevant to the joke. Insert Michelangelo and Rodin. Better?

[Kythereia]

@Inigo Montoya

It’s an audio. “Hello, is that you?” = Hollow statue?

But he’s not looking for a hollow statue, just a statue. It still makes no sense.

[YaWanna]

@Kalhoun

I probably could have used more recognizable examples of sculpture (though you don’t get much more famous than the Picasso sculpture in Chicago), but it’s irrelevant to the joke. Insert Michelangelo and Rodin. Better?

Mucho mas mejor.

@Kythereia

But he’s not looking for a hollow statue, just a statue. It still makes no sense.

Seriously, are you whooshing us?

[TellMeI_mNotCrazy]

@Kalhoun

I probably could have used more recognizable examples of sculpture (though you don’t get much more famous than the Picasso sculpture in Chicago), but it’s irrelevant to the joke. Insert Michelangelo and Rodin. Better?

I don’t think the hollow belongs there. “Hello, statue?” is “Hello, is that you ['s datchoo]?” So he calls a phone a “statue” because that’s his typical greeting and he doesn’t know the proper word.

Sort of contrived, I think…

[Inigo_Montoya]

@Kythereia

But he’s not looking for a hollow statue, just a statue. It still makes no sense.

Back in '79 I had a copy of The Official Polish/Italian Joke Book Such literature is scarce these days, but I distinctly remember this joke. The old man’s request, as the joke was published therein, is indeed for a “hollow statue” in each room.

I hope this clears things up.

[Inigo_Montoya]

This horse ain’t dead yet!

Link to an impartial site.

[Kalhoun]

Sigh…thanks to those of you who got it. I think it’s pretty clever!

[Kalhoun]

@Inigo Montoya

Back in '79 I had a copy of The Official Polish/Italian Joke Book Such literature is scarce these days, but I distinctly remember this joke. The old man’s request, as the joke was published therein, is indeed for a “hollow statue” in each room.

I hope this clears things up.

I don’t think it loses anything by making it a plain ol’ statue, do you?

[Kythereia]

@YaWanna

Seriously, are you whooshing us?

No, I’m just stupid.

I think I’m going to go console myself with a copy of War and Peace now.

[Kalhoun]

@Kythereia

No, I’m just stupid.

I think I’m going to go console myself with a copy of War and Peace now.

Have it your way…but it’s not as funny as the joke!

[DanBlather]

@Kythereia

I think I’m going to go console myself with a copy of War and Peace now.

I don’t get it.

[Troy_McClure_SF]

@soulmurk

Two guys walk into a bar; the third one ducks.
My own unscientific tests have it at about a 1:3 ratio of people who get it (though I’d expect much higher from this crowd).

I use this all the time, I get about the same results.

[Beware_of_Doug]

@Beware of Doug

Smoker: Doc, I’m having trouble applying the nicotine patch you prescribed last week.
Doctor: It’s easy. You just peel off the back and stick it on.
S: Ok, but do you remember you said to put on a new one every 6 hours?
D: That’s right.
S: Well, I’m running out of room.

The doctor never told him to take off the old patch before putting on the new one.

[Robot_Arm]

A drunk is walking down the street in London. He sees a car pulled to the side of the road, and the driver has the hood up and is looking at the engine.

DRUNK: What’s the trouble?
DRIVER: Piston broke.
DRUNK: So am I.

[Electronic_Chaos]

Why do cowgirls walk bow-legged?
Because cowboys don’t take their hats off to eat.

(I told this once to a classmate. Five minutes later she slaps me and says “That’s just wrong!”)