Who were two men that were shot in a theater?
Abraham Lincoln and the guy sitting in front of Pee Wee Herman
What’s the hardest thing about having AIDS?
Convincing your mother that you’re Haitian.
What has feathers, three eyes, clucks, and glows in the dark?
Chicken Kiev (just after Chernobyl)
Why does Michael Jackson like twenty-three-year-olds?
Because there are twenty of them!
What’s the opposite of Christopher Reeve?
Christopher Walken.
That’s not the worst of them, either:
What was the last command Houston gave the Challenger? “Let the woman drive!”
Cruelty *and * misogyny, in a little toxic bundle. Truthfully, it wasn’t funny then, either. I’m ashamed to say I laughed at it back in the day.
Did you hear what they found in Jeffrey Dahmers bathtub?
Head and Shoulders
How dud Jessica Savitch die?
Interviewing Natalie Wood.
Similar to the Need Another Seven Astronauts joke, there was one about the meaning of AIDS that started with “Another Infected.”
Q: Why did it take Ted Kennedy so long to report the accident in Chappaquiddick?
A: Have you ever tried to dress a girl underwater?
How do they know Vic Morrow had dandruff?
They found his head and shoulders in the bushes.
Morrow and two children were killed in a helicopter accident while filming the Twilight Zone movie.
At the time of Paul Reubens’ arrest, Wilt Chamberlain’s autobiography had just been published. So the joke I heard was, “Wilt Chamberlain slept with 20,000 women [which was the claim he made in the book] and he’s a national hero. Meanwhile, Pee-wee Herman practices safe sex and he’s a pariah.”
Jeffrey Dahmer was last seen heading to Waco with a bottle of BBQ sauce.
How do you pick up Branch Davidian men/women?
With a Dustbuster.
when Farrah Fawcett and Michael Jackson tied around the same time :
Saint Peter is at the gates and looing over her life saying well now …you did cheesecake modeling but you entertained people on tv and the movies and you used your fame for charitable good works and helped out a lot of people …
So you go in . Now you get one last wish and she says “i wish for all the children to be safe in the world”
he says “done” and she steps in and then he looks over to an assistant …Call hell we need to take Jackson asap …
Last radio message heard from the Challenger. “Oh, what’s this little red button for?”
Why does Michael Jackson love Walmart?
Little boys pants are half off.
What would Princess Di be doing if she were alive today? Scratching at the lid of her coffin.
I heard Princess Di was on the radio the other day… and the dashboard, and the steering wheel…
That’s recycled from the 1983 *Twilight Zone *movie accident.
Hey, did you know how they found out Vic Morrow had dandruff? They found his Head and Shoulders in the bushes.
I know of the accident and I’ve seen the footage of the helicopter mishap though the movie came out before I was even born, I didn’t know Head and Shoulders was even around back then, seems to be the punchline in a lot of these jokes though.
I just looked it up and I’m shocked–Head & Shoulders goes back to 1961! After 10 years of clinical trials.
During the OJ Simpson trial in 1995, Christopher Reeve suffered a spinal cord injury which left him paralyzed.
So right after the trial ended:
What’s the difference between Christopher Reeve and OJ?
OJ’s gonna walk.