What was the last thing that went through Princess Di’s mind? Her ass.
A bit off topic, but not completely…
Just yesterday I was killing some time online and I stumbled upon a documentary about Gilbert Gottfried, who I only knew from seeing a handful of times on late-night talk shows and the Aflac commercials.
It was very interesting, and I learned a LOT about him that really surprised me (for some reason I had him pegged as a “Clean Comic” which is 180 degrees from the truth) but they showed a bunch of his older material throughout the film, including a series of jokes he was telling right after the Pee Wee Herman scandal broke.
My favorite was “Well, if public masturbation is a crime, I guess I belong on death row!” which I admit isn’t the world’s best joke, but his delivery, in his unique, trademark voice (which is 100% an affectation) got a pretty good laugh out of me, but then, for some reason, likely having to do with my many misspent years of youthful illegal hallucinogenic drug abuse, I later somehow couldn’t get it out of my mind, to the extent that last night, while having a couple of beers in my local Krakow tavern, I suddenly started laughing to myself so hard that other guests actually looked concerned, so after I returned from outside when I had composed myself somewhat, my stunningly beautiful bartender friend Kaisia, whose English proficiency is pretty good but not totally, completely fluent, asked me what was so funny, and in just a second or two, mentally imagining how it would be virtually impossible to explain exactly what I was laughing about, and about how many bizzare, foriegn concepts I would need to try to expand to her about (I have known her for 4 years, and I am 100% certain she has NO idea who/what Gilbert Gottfried, Pee Wee Herman, or “Death Row” is) I exploded in a burst of fresh, vulgar laughter and hurriedly paid my tab and walked out on the mild Krakow evening to crudely snicker and snort to myself on the train all the way back home.
(oddly enough, no one wanted to sit next to me on the tram, possibly due to the little violent bursts of laughter randomly exploding from my otherwise pursed lips)
So for a joke that “Used to be funny” and candidly was probably never really all that funny back when it was brand-new, he got a bit of extra milage from it, 25 years later, 1/2 a world away, which I am sure would perversely please him if he knew.
I’ve noticed when watching older TV shows or movies from, say the early 1950s, a character would make a quip/joke observation “wall to wall” something or other, referring to a room full of…whatever.
I guess that’s when wall-to-wall carpeting was becoming more popular, and so the wall-to-wall joke was thought to be clever then. Today it’s lost it’s punch.
I’m ashamed to admit most of these I still find pretty damn funny.
You get many, many examples of this from old talk show opening monologues. For instance, last night I was watching on one of those classic TV channels the Carson from August 1st 1973 (the famous Uri Geller episode) and a chunk of the monologue was devoted to joking about the hair of someone testifying at the Watergate hearings.
Oh hell, that one goes back to Jaws. How did they know the woman killed at the beginning had dandruff? They found her head and shoulders on the beach.
Not a joke, but a line from the movie Johnny Dangerously. It was the scene where Joe Piscopo’s character was showing off his revolver.
“It’s an 88 Magnum. Shoots through schools!”
Would not be well received today.
The Shuttle explosion joke that I remember was:
Did you know Christa McAuliffe had blue eyes?
Yeah, one blew this way and one blew that way.
Before my time, but it’s one I heard somewhere, so I’ll share it.
Why did they let Ed Gein out on Valentine’s Day?
So he could dig up a date
Was that another Tylenol joke?
jeez dude or dudette you are way too wordy. throttle back…your not as funny as you think you are.
Somewhat similar:
Q: Why didn’t Natalie Wood shower on the boat?
A: Because she preferred to wash up on shore.
Take my wife…please.
That’s an old joke among homicide detectives.
I just want to point out that Vaughn Meader’s entire career ceased to be funny on Novemer 22, 1963.
That seemed awfully harsh… especially for a thread about jokes.
I thought the story was great! And not a wasted word. I could really feel the experience.
BTW, I worked in an ad agency back in the 70s and 80s, and almost every one of these jokes made the rounds amongst the “good ol’ boys” (picture the cast of Mad Men laughing in the hallways). I ain’t proud.
I recall, some while back, when they were choosing the retirement homes for the space shuttles, I saw one person (who happened to live in Texas) complain that Houston/KSC would not be getting one; someone else responded that Texas already got the Columbia.
What did Princess Grace of Monaco have that Natalie Wood could have used?
A good stroke.
Some British ones:
What has four legs and goes “Woof”?
Piper Alpha.*
What is the difference between Ayrton Senna and David Icke?
David Icke went completely round the bend.
*Piper Alpha was a North Sea oil platform that was destroyed in a huge gas/oil explosion.
After the 1986 World Series –
What do Michael Jackson and Bill Buckner have in common?
They both wear a glove on their right hand for no apparent reason.
After the 1993 spring training boating accident that killed two Cleveland Indians pitchers –
What did Steve Olin and Tim Crews die from?
Peer [pier] pressure.
I seem to be not too bright – or maybe, just not American and not all that interested in “space” doings: could some kind person explain this to me? (It can’t be about the Columbia River; that’s in the north-west, isn’t it?)