Not sure I get why you think he shouldn’t have done either.
Comparing one’s talents to others tends to be crass and is perceived as impolite. Joni was put in a position where she had to either duck the question, be self-deprecating (which in her case would have been a form of dishonesty) or be seen as boastful if she was honest.
And having been so gauche as to ask the question, Costello could at least have been polite enough not to spread the answer.
Wow. I don’t see that. I see it as a straight journalistic question, asked in every interview, of a very accomplished person, anyway. She answered honestly and I never thought of holding it against either one of them.
It was published, wasn’t it?
This isn’t my impression at all.
If I could figure out how to freakin’ cut and paste out of Kindle, I would quote it here. I went and found it. Ah! Waitaminnit!
[QUOTE=Elvis Costello in his memoir]
She smoked cigarettes all afternoon on the veranda of a hotel that would still tolerate it, and we even managed to quarrel when I implied that something she had said had been “diffident,” and she took violent exception to my use of the word, until I had to remind her that I was not a record company stooge or one of her enemies in the press but just another songwriter. Near the end of our time together, I asked her who her peers were. “Dylan for words. Miles for music,” she replied modestly, perhaps truthfully.
To attempt to repeat such a conversation in front of the cameras would have been an utter contrivance.
[/QUOTE]
…and yet Elvis repeated it here in his book (it is in a chapter related to the interviews he’s done for his show Spectacle, I think). Yeah, per my thread on the book, it isn’t helping me with my view of the man. Love his music, but this anecdote makes him look like a jerk.
I have seven of her albums. Incredibly talented and under-appreciated. She’s my favorite songwriter.
Too bad she went off the deep end a couple decades ago. 
Joni is great. I’d easily put her up there with Dylan and Young. Which one is “best” is, IMO, a hopeless task. But I’d put Joan Baez in that group as well, since we’re talking women singer/song writers. She’s an overall amazing human being, too.
I got the impression that she thinks he abandoned his artistic vision in favor of popularity and album sales, particularly during his “Christian” phase – I dunno, is he still in the same phase? IMO he lost relevance to me, as has she, but her music stayed relevant to me much longer than his did.
Ouch. That’s a dark view. But I haven’t read the Costello book. I did read a printed Elvis Joni interview once, but I forget where.
He said it would be a contrivance to redo it for camera, but that doesn’t mean it wasn’t an important part of his interview, which Joni wanted. I don’t think he thought it was a private confidence. From the context I’m thinking it wasn’t one. He probably agreed with it and wanted it out, no?
It sounds like they were getting a bit pissy with each other and that the exchange could be seen as off the record. He’s outing her - it’s not cool to make claims about yourself and he shares a big one of hers - and then he says “perhaps truthfully.” A bit too arch.
Okay, you want to know how I have decided that exchange really went? My version of “she took violent exception to my use of the word and I reminded her I was a fellow songwriter. Then when I asked her about her peers she replied with Dylan and Miles” is that it actually went:
Elvis: “…blah, blah, blah, diffident blah…”
Joni: “how DARE you use that word with me!” (puffs cigarette)
Elvis: “you can’t talk to me like that, like I’m a stooge. I’ve written songs with Sir Paul McCartney and Burt Bacharach, bitch!!”
Joni (puffing cigarette): “is that all you got, you little dweeb? I’m Dylan on lyrics and Miles on music - I didn’t need Sir Paul’s or anyone’s help like you apparently do!! And I slept with the Laurel Canyon greats, while you had a fling with Steven Tyler’s and Todd Rundgren’s cast off!! I’d break you in half even today!!”
…hey, a guy can dream 
I’m completely used to musicians saying grandiose things about themselves.
You can find things from Lennon, Dylan, Jerry Lee, Miles, McCartney, Page and Plant, Little Richard, Sinatra, Lou Reed, Bowie, probably hundreds of others, that make this seem mild. Lennon said he was a genius many times.
The behaviour of many rock stars has been thoughtless, amoral, immoral or worse on occasion and we forgive all the guys for that. But THIS is a big deal? Did someone really say this was off the record? Why assume that? Did someone say that this was inappropriate for Joni to say? Who? The Monday morning quarterback crowd?
I just read this picture book on new wave acts from Britain in the early 80s and almost every one of them thinks they were the greatest band since the Beatles.
These statements go with the territory of being a rock star and I can’t see how it’s important.
That’s the reason I posted here in the first place: It never is important when it’s a guy. When it’s Joni, it’s an event and a betrayal of a confidant, and a classless thing to do, and a self-embarrassment for her. What is he outing her as?: “How could anyone ask (a girl) a question like that and how could (a girl) give an answer like that??? It’s not fair! …”
It seems paternalistic and sexist to make that case. Any actual quotes on how she felt about it?
PS not to mention Oasis et al…
Nah. It’s classless whoever you ask it of. Sure, some stars have made almost an artform of shameless self promotion and displays of ego. I think they are dickheads for doing so. I mean your last example says it all. I know many people who like Oasis’ music in spite of its start members because they are so crass.
Agreed. If a male artist said something similar, off the record, or at least reported by someone else in a kind of catty way, it would still make both look…not great.
And as for Oasis - look, I really enjoy rocking out to some of their songs, but they are derivative wankers at best. Whether Noel and Liam spend time barking about how great they are is a completely different conversation vs. Joni and her comments.