They sure are. When I used to have access to a lap pool I could never really do them without getting water up my nose. I finally saw someone who was doing a sort of sideways half of a flip turn, so I started doing that. If you’re only swimming for exercise purposes it’s probably good enough.
I gave up and got a nose plug. Thankfully no suicide turns needed for backstroke!
So, this is a bit of an update, some positive, some very sad. Two weeks ago, my Step-Dad, Brian (we called him Bubba), went into the hospital with exhaustion, heartburn, stomach upset - turns out he had a heart attack the week before. Since he had pericarditis in 2005, he had some nerve damage so he did not feel it the way one would normally - he thought he pulled a muscle golfing.
An EKG showed blockage in all arteries (100, 90 and 90) and they discussed a bypass. Since his pericardium had been removed, they opted for a stent procedure. He was in great spirits, and the last thing I said to him was that I had signed him up for the Manitoba Marathon that weekend, so he better heal FAST.
The doctors said they had never seen a stent procedure go that bad that quickly. He aspirated just prior to being woken up and was intubated. His heart just could not pump enough - his feet began getting mottled and black, within a few days, kidneys showed signs of failing, and he showed infection and sepsis. Every time they turned down the sedation, he would begin to arrest.
My Mom put a DNR in place, but discussed “giving him one more chance” when they attempted again to wake him up. They did, but it was no use. 13 June 2018, he passed away.
He was so much more than a Step-Dad. Some of you know that my former spouse was pretty toxic and mentally and emotionally abusive. Bubba was, in many ways, a surrogate Dad to my daughter. He loved her so much, and had been in her life since she was born.
This was a devastating loss.
Darby and I flew home 16 June, the service was 23 June. It was beautiful. We returned home to Ottawa this past Tuesday (26 June).
I did not train while I was away, although I intended to - it was just too hard to leave my Mom.
It was an incredibly hard few weeks, so much all at once (Darby had a very bad thing happen at school, I had some issues and dog issues). We are all exhausted - I even have a miserable summer cold!
Now, the good:
I will be back at this next week - I did pick up my new road bike yesterday. It is BEAUTIFUL. More updates next week.
I am so sorry about Bubba. Hugs to you and your family.
Now you’re picking up right where you left off. He’s so proud of you.
I’m so sorry about Bubba. My condolences to you and Darby.
My condolences about Bubba. I’m sure he is missed!
Training Camp 2 is DONE!
The good - the camp was in Halifax, and although I am a prairie girl, born and raised, there is something about the East Coast that just calls to me. Darby came with me, so this was her first trip to the East Coast, and luckily she also loved it.
We found out which supplier will be providing all of our team gear - UnderArmour - so that is awesome, since I have always liked their stuff. Another amazing thing is that Swimming Canada sent everyone on the swim team some gear, including caps with our name and the maple leaf for Canada. Got some chills getting that - guess it is too late to back out? 
They made a big point that we “got the same gear that the Olympians get” - hopefully some of that speed will rub off on us.
We were invited to a banquet at a nearby legion, and they had a bagpiper “pipe” us in, which is a very special honour. I also had a random lady approach me at a store and thank me for being on the team. There was a big media announcement for us, if you Google Invictus Canada, you should be able to pull some stories (my computer here won’t let me link…).
The bad - I had no hot water to my shower the whole week - so it was either icy showers or shower at the gym. On Wednesday, one of my female teammates let us use hers. Shower rooms are a bit tricky for me, so this was the best option. My Archery coach changed EVERYTHING on me, glove to tab, add a sight, mouth anchor to chin anchor and carbon to aluminum arrows. This sucked because I was shooting pretty well, and then everything went into the toilet. I know I will adjust, but it was a bit of a blow to my confidence.
The ugly - wow, this trip was fraught with a lot of triggers and emotional lows. At first I thought it was just me, but asking around a LOT of people were feeling it. I guess realizing the Games are less than 100 days away (69 as of today) is a lot to hoist aboard. My right shoulder has been bugging me, so far not enough to derail anything, but it is getting a bit worse. I have an appointment to get it looked at. I had a complete breakdown in the pool (locker room, chlorine, all triggers), and I just kind of tried not to sob for a while. It was just overwhelming emotions, missing Bubba, feeling weak, already edgy…
So, now what?
I stepped up my training some more - gotta get the pool stuff under control. I FINALLY rode my Road Bike - I tried it a few weeks ago, and it scared the hell out of me. Yesterday, Darby and I went for a short ride (10kms), and I rode Poltergeist (that’s what I call it, because she scared me). That sucker is so light - hills are about a million times easier! That said, those slicks are NOT made for gravel and I could not just zip the downhills on the path. I am excited to take it to work and see what it can do on the paved paths - but of course it is rainy the next few days (due to the lack of grip on the tires, rainy conditions are NOT optimal).
Brought CrossFit Endurance into the mix, so yesterday was:
Bike (10km)
Crossfit (mostly pull-ups and kettlebell stuff)
Swim (450m)
Hybrid (Benedict Arnold) is in getting a new chain, cassette and brakes :). More biking in the immediate future. Archery tomorrow night. Crappy sleep last night - nightmares. Regular nightmares though, not PTSD nightmares - so still a win!
I’ve just been wondering how this is all going. I really empathize about the scary bits. Both the triggering and getting closer to the event. Have they given you any advice or counseling on how to get through that? Do you have any resources?
I am so proud of you. I intend to brag relentlessly, even though our connection is only through the Board. 
Just following along and wishing you all the best.
You’ve got this nailed!
You’re doing a fantastic job w/ all that’s coming at you and then some! I also tend to nightmares in recent years and find that when I meditate myself to sleep rather than letting my mind wander into dozing I have fewer upsetting dreams (though a shorter sleep overall). Brains are funny things.
Keep up the hard work, I can’t wait to hear how it pays off!
My counselor and I are working on it - really I need to train physically as well as mentally anyway so I am committed to spending more time in the pool (HERE’S PRUNY FINGERS AND TOES!).
Happy to connect in real life - sort of…are we friends on FB? We can be - drop me a PM with your email. 
Here’s two articles about the Canadian contingent, including one big, blurry photo of Team Canada at Halifax. I assume Poysyn is in there somewhere!
Members of Team Canada announced for 2018 Invictus Games in Australia
Wounded soldiers gather on Parliament Hill for Invictus Games ceremony
I am!
I am the redhead in the skirt (that makes me sound very film noire).
I had a really, really bad day yesterday. Ride 37kms, but did not make it to the gym or the pool. Was ridiculously triggered and edgy all day. Got some really crummy news too - I had a few business friends that wanted to donate to help offset the cost of my equipment (about $3000 out of pocket). I was told that the not-for-profit we were working with did directed donations.
I asked back in March.
Yesterday I found out that nope, they don’t. I have been trying to find a solution, so far, no ideas…
Go Fund Me - post it here and other places (after asking the mods, of course). I would be glad to chip in. I’m sure others would as well.
Awww - thanks!
It actually worked out - I have a sponsorship, so I am doing a triathlon with her company’s name on my shirt and will happily make a thank you video. Almost makes me feel like I am some big time pro or something :).
Ultimately, I am still out of pocket - but that is okay. I don’t know if I would feel right asking the Dope for money. Dopers have, through the years, been a great and supportive online tribe. A few times that money was bad, they helped (once with an inflatable pool for my then-toddler when ours was stolen), and always with a listening ear (even if just to tell me I am being an idiot).
This isn’t like a medical bill or groceries. This is for my daughter and I to go on an amazing adventure. It would be wrong to ask you guys to fund it - like I would be taking advantage of that weird kinship.
I am young(ish) and reasonably healthy (PTSD aside), and I have nothing to whine about - that’s for sure.
Yesterday was a very low day. I had a few big triggers sweep in and take all of the wind out of my sails, so the money thing was the proverbial cherry.
Wow. I can’t believe in a month it will nearly be over. It is just so hard to wrap my brain around it even now.
So, last week was officially the first time in a 50m pool and boy is it different! I literally stopped and looked up thinking “Where is the f***ing wall?!” Yep, I was halfway. 50m is far. At first, I once again felt discouraged - Boy do I get DOWN on myself! But I was chatting with another teammate and he was struggling more than I was, he smiled and said “The way I look at it, my family gave up a lot so I could follow my dream and serve in the military. Now I am returning the favour with this trip. I want them to have an epically good time!”
I want my daughter to be proud of her Mom, and know that PTSD, while pretty devastating, can be managed.
The week or so has been intense. So much about rape and sexual assault rolling around. It’s good though - normally all of this thinking goes on inside, and if we want things to change, the conversation needs to happen.
I am putting the finishing touches on my proposal for the Canadians Armed Forces - I find out around the end of October if I was successful. That would mean a whole different job, and I would be creating a new training program. Very exciting stuff.
I am trying to both enjoy the experience and get ready for AFTER THE GAMES. I want to maximize my opportunity, and really get the most out of it, at the same time, I have made a ton of progress physically, I need to keep going! My waist is down about five inches, I am down three sizes. I am strong and I can do things. Things that seemed pretty impossible.
CBC came and did a three hour long interview with me. That will run sometime close to the Games, so if you ever had a burning desire to see what I look like and sound like (except Leaffan, since you know) this is your chance!
My archery took a hit, since I had to re-configure for a tab, aluminum arrows, sight and anchor point. My bike had a mishap (front brake flew off mid-ride, I caught it like a GODDAMN NINJA), and swimming, well we will see. I felt super slow, but my 50m time, even super slow was 57secs. Not bad.
Staging camp is 14 October. I am planning for a spa day on the 13th. We will need it.
Well, there definitely has to be an Ottawa Dopefest when you return triumphant from the Games!
Hear hear!
That would be wonderful
So happy for you!!
Yep, that’s pretty much what everyone says when they get in to a 50m pool. Hell, I still say it for the first few laps in a 50m pool since I’m used to the 25m pool. It’s even worse when you are doing butterfly or something else, but that usually changes to “Why the fuck did I decide to do this?”
So enjoy your “Why am I fucking doing this?” time at the games. 