Last week was so hard. I didn’t really feel comfortable enough posting it super openly, so instead I am tucking this in here.
Ahem - so, a lot of you know that my injury (PTSD) was caused by sexual assaults. Yep. That is a plural. Most of them have happened in the time I have been in uniform. This does not mean, in any way, that the men (and women) I serve with are slathering rapists. On the contrary, the vast majority are consummate professionals, truly my brothers and sisters.
But. But…my path has unfortunately crossed with a few predators over the years. The ones that happened when I first joined, I did not report. There were many reasons, I did not think I would be believed, as well as I saw what happened to the women that reported. They were ostracized. They were blamed. They were pariahs.
It was easier, so I thought, to “roll with the punches”.
Last week, I saw an incredibly brave woman testify to a wall of men about a terrible and traumatic event. So many people asked, “Why did she wait so long?”
Because she did.
Because she felt she would not be supported before.
I know I waited. I waited until one was ready to make the jump to a very high rank, and another to a very high appointment. And then I came forward.
You’ve been nothing but brave and professional as long as I’ve known you. You reached out to me when I was having trouble coping.
Through various posts here, on social media, and in private messages you’ve been a rock and an inspiration. I personally have learned much from you and feel I am a better person for having made your acquaintance. I have come to understand more clearly how victims of sexual assault feel and how very difficult it is to carry that weight.
Hello super ninja! What you are doing is incredibly hard, physically and mentally. I admire you for putting yourself out there, and being open about an issue that is very personal. You are a role model for others that they can get through the dark times, whether or not they ever come forward.
Last week was horrid on so many, many levels. I empathize with how triggering it all was. I still feel like hiding and/or killing something, mixed with overwhelming despair.
Good for you for pushing forward. It makes me smile that this positive action is happening despite all of the negatives in the world right now. {{{hugs}}}
I saw the Canadian team on the news tonight. It was a wide shot, showing everybody, and all I could think of was “Poysyn’s in there somewhere.”
Gosh, those first two paragraphs were easy, but I’ve spent that last fifteen minutes trying to compose a third. I’ve typed, and deleted, and typed and deleted, and it always comes out sounding trite and banal, so I’ve deleted again. So let me just say, “Good luck in the Games.”
Well…if you ever wondered what I look like, wonder no further. I will say the reporter had to lift two assaults form my story - one is still technically “an open” investigation, and the other, they did not have room. It is fine, the point is made.
We arrived in Sydney this morning and I think even my toenails are exhausted right now! I have held on all day and it is nearly time to go to bed!! I am SO EXCITED TO SLEEP IN A BED!!
I will post more about the first days tomorrow. Goodnight all
On more than one occasion, I flew Toronto-Honolulu-Sydney-Perth. Everything is exhausted. I saw my bed in Perth, and just went plop, basically for the next 12 hours.
Give it a couple of days, and you’ll be fine. And if you can, enjoy Australia while you’re there–it is a fascinating country, and one I would like to return to someday.
I know you can’t hear them from Over There so I’m not going to try to yell loud enough, but count yourself cheered on from France, both for the Games and for your work with Operation Honour.
Opening ceremonies tonight, and I start off with cycling. I am super grateful that I signed up for it - I have developed a love for the bike commute, and, every so often, I do something like go down a hill or dodge an obstacle and my mind goes back to when I was a kid and riding your bike felt like freedom and my mind goes “WHEEEEEE!”
BUT…I won’t get a medal for my cycling. I am a probably average cyclist, and I understand at least one country has two former Olympians in their ranks.
FINAL BUT…I am so happy for remembering the “Wheeeee!” feeling, and I know next summer I will do a few triathlons, so cycling is a SUCCESS.
So…my journey got cut short. My mom’s condition went downhill much faster than anyone anticipated, and they had to pull me back. I just got into Ottawa, and will be flying to Winnipeg tomorrow.
Fingers crossed I can make it in time.
