So apparently there’s this new movie called America’s Sweethearts. It stars John Cusack, Julia Roberts, and Catherine Zeta-Jones. Something about falling for one and breaking up with another. I’m not sure. It’s not important.
Anyway, let’s say you’re a guy. If you’re not a guy, pretend. Follow Mister Rogers into the land of Make Believe and imagine you have a penis.
Here’s the poll - who’s the better eye candy, Julia or Catherine? Never mind such lovely abstractions as talent and charm. I’m talking good looks coupled with hot bods. Hey, so it’s a shallow thought. Damn skippy. I figure if I get another shallow thoughts in my shriveled brain, it’ll seem deep.
I expect to read a post or 50 in here saying, “Hey, we’re more than sex objects!” or “Hey, don’t be so demeaning to women!” Hey, hey, hey. (OOohh… shades of Fat Albert!) C’mon, take it in the spirit with which it’s intended, which is to have fun.
Checks the parts list: penis, one, standard issue, telescoping.
Okay, in the spirit in which it was intended, Julia Roberts does absolutely nothing for me, while I think Catherine Zeta-Jones is pretty hot. YMMV.
Catherine Zeta-Jones, bar none.
Julia Roberts is a horse-toothed flake.
CZJ is a gorgeous, genuine flake.
Well, as a female, I would have no problems being a sex object to Catherine Zeta-Jones or having her as mine.
Speaking as a (mostly) heterosexual male, I’d rather sleep with John Cusack than Julia Roberts. However, Catherine Zeta-Jones can crawl under my laser beams any day.
Oh, I’m sorry, I have to go now. The Awkward Metaphor Police are at my door.
If they’re the only choices, then I guess Catherine Zeta Jones. But to be honest, I don’t like either of them. They just don’t do it for me.
I fear I am in the minority here.
Or perhaps not.
(But I might have a bias)
But personally, if you could pass some Mel Gibson over this way…
Catherine, hands down. I don’t think Julia is that pretty.
Catherine, fer sure.
Julia has too many teeth.
This is GREAT! CZ-J is my choice, too. Man, she’s got some gorgeous eyes… mmmmm
I hope in the movie John C. gets her rather than the uppity JR. I dunno what you all think of him, but I think he’s a cool, likeable guy (at least his characters are), but not a better-than-thou kind of guy, either. A real down-to-earther, one with which the average guy can identify.
Catherine, by default. Julia doesn’t do anything for me, and Catherine was cute in High Fidelity, but otherwise I find her run-of-the-mill.
Nicole Kidman, on the other hand…
If I were being totally objective I would say Catherine. I think she is more attractive than Julia.
However, I can’t be objective because I find the notion of CZJ gettin’ it on with Michael Douglass to be just plain creepy. So I gotta go with Julia on this one.