Telling the crowd to join the military. Hey, I’m 64; pass.
They don’t need you, they won’t feed you, you’re sixty-four.
You guys are such sports. Taking one for the team allows my greatest care for the holiday to be whether it’s too early to have a glass of wine.
Now dumping a bunch of anecdotes about the Coast Guard. It’s adorable how he tries to pretend he actually knows any of this stuff.
ETA: wow, he really likes the Coast Guard; he’s gone on about them for the past five minutes.
They all enjoyed a good game of bridge together. And Amelia always brought her famous crab dip.
They all would have hated Trump?
And putting duty before dishonor? What a fuckin’ hypocrite.
It’s definitely not too early! No contest! 
…and first flyover, of three Coast Guard aircraft, to, shall we say, tepid applause.
It sounds like he is reading the speech for the first time.
The Coast Guard anthem? This is a bizarre spectacle.
This has my vote.
'At’s my girl!!
When at last he has to flee the country and finds he’s on the no-fly list, he may need the Coast Guard to look the other way while he yachts it to some no-extradition-treaty nation.
Never ask a Texan for advice about drinking.
Now it’s the Air Force’s turn.
Hang on, it sounds like he just claimed that no US soldier has ever been killed under the AF’s’ protection. Whaa?
Lord El_Kabong, can you get a sense of the crowd size? Also is Melania there and what is she wearing.
Not so much advice as an… imprimatur.
B2/F-22 overflight, didn’t release it’s payload. Bit more applause for this one.
Sorry, looks like the coup’s off, folks.
On to the navy.
Well he IS just reading off the TelePrompTer.
Can you imagine what the Republicans would have said if OBAMA ever used a TelePrompTer?
Hey! We give good cringing fringing crunching bringing drinking advice! Dang spell-check.