In the ‘Schadenfreude’ thread I said this:
To which @Rebo replied:
So, by overwhelming popular demand of one poster, here it is! The rules are simple: post one or more headlines of real, non-satirical articles from real news sources about trump or his trumpleshillskins that could easily be mistaken as satirical headlines in the style of ‘The Onion’.
Okay, how about this one?
Watch out Ivanka! Donald Trump says “Republicans eat their young”
A twofer in one headline:
Two strong ones right out of the gate, nice!
The “Watch out Ivanka!” headline is perhaps a bit unfairly assisted by having a jokey spin put on it, but still is very good. @Gyrate’s ‘Hannibal Lector’ headline is perfect-- purely factual, yet still reads like an ‘Onion’ headline.
I really thought you misunderstood the rules of the game, but nope, that’s real. Good Christ.
Okay, I know I’m going to regret it if it comes to pass, but can we insist on a swimsuit portion for the next Presidential Debate?
Scary, innit?
How about:
Trump Manages to Make Israel Attack All About Him
or
Donald Trump Says Windmills Are ‘Driving Whales Crazy’
or in the same vein:
Trump: ‘I never understood wind’
I don’t think this thread is likely to run out of material any time soon.
Yep. I mean, how can the Onion compete with “Marjorie Taylor Greene is asked not to show porn at Biden impeachment hearing”?
That also gives us the Trump-related headline “Taylor Swift is ‘only person’ who could defeat Trump in 2024, ex-aide Alyssa Farah Griffin declares”
Social media users question Spicer calling concentration camps ‘Holocaust centers’ will always be one of my biggest memories of the early days, partly because a press room camera caught a reported doing a sitcom-level (but real) double take when Spicer said it.
Thanks, was not aware of that ‘nottheonion’ subreddit.
And to think Bush got portrayed as out of touch with the supermarket scanner incident. TFG is just so batshit that this only gets one line, buried behind Hannibal Lecter and what a great body he has.
Trump also took the opportunity to double-down on his claim that people need to show ID to go grocery shopping.
It’s the mark of the beast people!
Donald Trump’s team ‘having meetings in the dark as they can’t find right light switch in White House’
Wow, that one is absolutely perfect, both as an unintentionally funny real headline and as a metaphor for his entire Presidency. It works on so many levels!
But, I should have also asked in my OP to please post the headlines as links to the actual articles. Since I just had to look this one up to see if was really for real, I fixed it for you:
Deleted. Not an actual head line.
This one would be better if they’d left off the last few words, but:
Trump tells court he had no duty to ‘support’ the US Constitution in bizarre legal defence
Ok, here’s one. Trump calls Putin 'genius' and 'savvy' for Ukraine invasion - POLITICO
This is like shooting fish in a barrel.