With great powers comes great responsibility. 
My phone sometimes says that, or it’ll say “No SIM card.” Rebooting it usually fixes the problem.
Man, if that’s the worst tech problem you’ve had, The Machines must like you.
I have an iPhone, a USB-C to A adaptor, a power brick, two external Hard Drives and a Bike Rack 6-Pack Holder that all need jimmying occasionally.
“Six Pack of GENERIC LAGER Not Found. Perform visual check of ‘Bouncing Out Onto The Street’ status. Reinstall if necessary. When successfully completed, resume pedaling.”
dear landlord… ok I love the fact that were still paying 1992 era rent and I love the fact that when my nephew passed on ya bent over backwards to help us … But why do ya let ya wife antagonize my poor aunt ?
I know the minute you pass on shes gonna ditch this place before ya even cold in the cemetary but letting her say that "well you might have to move in 18 months cause the youngest kid might get serious on his alleged romance and want the place " is bull---- if ya even know she said it
First off none of your kids want the place since everything in the house is CENSORED rigged to the point that you cant legally sell it because of all illegal add ons and such (a favorite drinking game we used to have is take a shot for everything illegal and dangerous about the electric you see …. you’ll be wasted in 15 minutes )
you know how ocd she is about her stuff …… Now all im hearing how we have to empty the house get loans to pay off stuff and help get a new place and other such bs ……and all those repairs we discussed we were planning to do ? forget it youll be lucky if this place isn’t condemned by t he time we leave as shes said " we aint fixin shi- " ourselves
Sad thing is its all something that’s got a chance of 95 percent of never happening ………. So I hope you have good luck on this new venture …………
I ain’t got none of that there “responsibility” stuff. This is why, though physically of advancing age, I’m really still a kid. Eventually I’m gonna be one of those old guys who wanders out in traffic and hammers with his cane on the cars of drivers that annoy him.
Probably the lamest of rants there is:
My dog is the sweetest, most affectionate, best dog there is, but there’s just one problem. He weighs 70#, but thinks he’s the size of a Yorkie. He’s always getting underfoot in the kitchen, walking inches in front of me, then doubling back in my direction, trying to squeeze past me in a doorway, or getting behind me when I’m trying to sit on the couch. Today he tried to walk between my legs. He’s going to kill me one of these days.
There was a city festival I wanted to attend yesterday. Texted a friend Friday night, asked if she wanted to go. She replied pretty excitedly that yes, she’d love to join.
I drove the 37 miles out to her house (in miserably hot weather without working a/c), only to get there and find out she changed her mind, let’s just sit and visit.
- would it have killed you to let me know earlier, so I could’ve not hauled myself out to BFE for nothing?
- why couldn’t I have womaned up and, when she changed her mind, just exited gracefully and went to the festival by myself?
Decided, ok, since I’m out here, there’s a store nearby that carries a pizza I really like. May as well make it worth my while. Only, they quit carrying the brand.
first, a little background, I live in the Dominican Republic where lots of people have maids, they are usually very poor and uneducated and wages are dirt cheap
I bought a microwave, just a small one, and put it on the counter next to the fridge
when the maid cooks chicken in the gas oven, she’ll leave it out on the counter for an hour or so to cool off before she sticks it in the fridge
one day a couple of weeks ago she had chicken cooling off but we needed some more counter space so I just stuck it in the microwave for a while to get it out of the way, didn’t turn it on, of course
fastforward a couple of days when I go to the big city to go shopping and I’m gone all day, before I left I took some ground turkey out of the freezer and asked her to fix me some “hamburgesas” with it
so I get home at 7:30 pm, she’s off at 3:00 pm, and I’m starved so I go looking for my turkey burgers
I can’t find them in the fridge so I’m trying to figure out where they are or what happened to them and meanwhile I get some rice out instead
I open up the microwave to heat up my rice and there is a 9 inch turkey burger on a plate, cool to the touch
the next morning I asked her when she cooked the turkey, she said around 2:00 pm
I asked why she put it in the microwave and she said because she saw me put the chicken in there the other day
she has been living without a fridge at her house with her husband and seven kids, I bought her a fridge last week
Finally figured out our egg predicament. We usually get 3-5 eggs each day from our flock. Recently we have been getting 0-2 a day, a dramatic downturn. I thought maybe heat stress, but the birds look happy and are eating/drinking as usual.
Then, my gf went in to collect eggs one day. There were three present, but she got sidetracked with horse stuff and forget to take the eggs. When she went back to get them, there were only two!!
There has never been evidence of breakage (some hens will peck an egg, break it, and eat some of the evidence). Nest straw has been clean and dry.
Yesterday we discovered the cause!
Spoilered in case anyone wants to guess:
The biggest fucking black rat snake I’ve ever seen. Caught red-handed with his head in the nest and his >6 feet of body draped down and across the coop. It was like something you’d see in the Amazon. I caught it and we got it into a feed sack. My gf hiked a couple of miles into the woods and released it. Goodbye and good riddance mister snek!
Cool, kayaker!
I guessed wrong. Usually when we have an egg shortage, it’s only a matter of time until we find the new secret nest, that contains about 20 eggs of uncertain provenance.
Ewwww, yeah, we are vigilant in allowing them to lay only in approved spots.
I was working in a little boat last week. Didn’t realize that my ass was wet from the motor leaking gas. I figured it out when my ass cheek started burning. It gave me contact dermatitis. It hurts/itches. Internet says it can take weeks to heal.
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I guessed right!
So on the way to drop my son off at his mom’s the other day, he mentions that his friend Alex isn’t allowed in the house when he’s over to play. When I ask why, he tells me he can’t go inside while Bill’s (stepdad) guns are there.
But…the guns are locked up, aren’t they? I ask…
Oh no, he has guns hidden all over, says son.
Fan fucking tastic.
I think I need to find me a nice priest to give me pats on the back or something. They’re cheaper than shrinks, priests, the problem is that the nice ones I know aren’t local to me right now, and I don’t know the local ones.
After spending some time in the hospital, including several weeks hospitalized in an old folks’ home (henceforth OFH, and 1), my mother spent several months starting our every call with a list of Reasons I Shouldn’t Go To An OFH. Most of them were completely absurd: “they won’t let me leave the building, when I was there I couldn’t leave!” (you couldn’t leave because you barely had enough energy to walk from one garden bench to the next one; both OFHs encourage mobile residents to move as much as possible including going to the parks behind each of them), “they will not give me my medicine!” (they will make sure you aren’t gobbling painkillers, or take your meds three times in one meal, that much is true). Others were financial, with the imagined rates not making any sense and in fact easily disproved by yours truly (amazing: you go to an OFH, ask for their rates and incoming procedure and they give you all the info!). Note that at no time had I or my brothers said that she should go to an OFH: she was arguing with herself, really, and using me as a proxy.
Eventually she got a new “cleaning lady” (2) who keeps her clean and fed; Mom is so enamored with the independence Luz’ presence brings her that she’s decided Luz’ cooking is superb (it’s cardboard, except drier and blander; then again, there’s very few dishes Mom can cook decently).
But seeing the many little things she’s left “wrong” after her last visit to me (3) and how badly she moves, and how timid she is about moving around in a place she doesn’t know, and… oh Lord, the eyesight and the freaking hearing aids, and with her eyesight going (4) it’s becoming harder and harder to lipread and why should she put her hearing aids in before she’s going to leave the house? Last Saturday it was actually her who called me (5) and she did it without first putting the aids in.
There’s a big chunk of me that hopes the time between “now” and “whenever Mom moves into an OFH” she won’t have time to drive everybody in the family nuts. Or nutter. Is too a word. Argh.
1: the hospital proper is out of town, the two OFHs are in town, so for people who can’t really be sent home but need more in the way of nurses and rehab than doctors, the hospital-like floors of the two OFHs are a good option.
2: I’m not even sure what to call her, she goes twice a week to cook, clean (takes her maybe 15 minutes) and do the ironing. Servant I guess, but for some reason I tend to think of that as being more of an in-house position.
3: fridge set to 11. Several USB cables which used to work now don’t (damnit woman, don’t pull on the fucking cable). Who the fuck left this… oh, ok, right, Mom. What? The missing spoon was IN the ice cream?
4: cataracts, hopefully she’ll get surgery soon although she’s terrified of surgery so I expect her to delay it as much as possible
5: she had a missed call whose number she didn’t recognize. So why think “it might be one of my children”, when all our numbers including work ones are registered in her phones? Beats me. Like Our Lady’s virtue, Mom’s logic isn’t of this world.
Nm
I hate cold-callers, and so I do not see them. No way, no how, for as long as I’ve been in business. My employees know this and so it all works nicely.
Yesterday I walked in to the building and my receptionist was all excited. She got us a FREE pizza party for Friday, isn’t that great!? I asked for details and gradually it came out that sure, I had to listen to the dude’s sale pitch, but hey, FREE PIZZA!!!
I explained to her that I can afford to purchase pizza. I explained further that listening to a sales pitch was waaaay more than a few pies was worth to me. Then I explained that I’d be going out to lunch on Friday. She could call her “friend” and explain this (she doesn’t have any contact information) or she could explain it to him when she sees him Friday.
The fact that something has been the same for twenty five years is NOT a reason why it needs to be changed. If the thing isn’t broke, why fix it?
(I’m not actually convinced that the thing shouldn’t be changed, but I’m unreasonably annoyed by the claim that the thing having been the way it is for for twenty five years is a reason why it needs to be changed).
It is 109 F(ucking) degrees here in Fort Worth currently.
It supposed to stay like this through the weekend.
Now that my rage has subsided a bit and I’m able to type a cohesive sentence…
Went to the dentist on Tuesday for my routine cleaning. I’ve been going to this particular office pretty much since my first tooth sprouted, and one dentist in particular had done most of the work on my teeth. He did an amazing job with restorations after my encounter with a [parked] pickup truck in second grade, and he was the first to figure out that fluorosis – rather than poor dental hygiene skills or excess sugar consumption – was to blame for my crappy enamel. Going into my appointment this week, I already knew this dentist had retired…as in, he showed up to work one day in April, packed his stuff, and was gone. This news didn’t surprise me too much; the office was taken over/bought out by a regional chain, and it’s obvious that it’s not exactly a happy place to work anymore. The new dentist was nice enough; I was disturbed when he immediately started trying to upsell me on some kind of trays that are to be filled with prescription toothpaste ($13 for 3.4 oz) each night and worn while one sleeps. Uh, hell no. I was annoyed when he ignored me to explain his upselling technique to the hygienist.
Then he dropped a bombshell – the one and only crown in my mouth, which was installed less than two years ago by the now retired dentist, is apparently defective and must be replaced. :mad: Insurance isn’t going to touch it, the current incarnation of the office won’t stand behind the retired dentist’s work, and now I have to go through hell again to have this damn thing replaced. That crown is by far the worst dental experience I’ve ever had – oral surgery to cut a flap of skin from the roof of my mouth and tack it to my lower gums was a walk in the park compared to that crown. I almost threw up on the poor tech who did the impression, the temporary (that I had to wear for A MONTH) was such a poor fit that I was in constant pain (the office insisted this was due to my bite being off), and the tooth stub was inexplicably washed in ice cold water prior to installation of the permanent crown. At this point, I don’t know if I’m angrier at the waste of money, or at my former dentist for doing such a piss-poor job. I’m now questioning every piece of work he has done over the last few years. Hell, he did a root canal on a front tooth a few years ago; with my luck that will be the next to go. 
If I were you I’d get a second opinion.
You stated that this new dentist person tried to up-sell you already etc. I say there’s a more than zero chance that the crown is just fine and you’re being bamboozled.
My dentist, who is generally okay, acquired a new machine a few years back. I think it went ‘ping’. He insisted it was absolutely imperative that I have this new machine do a full 360 scan of my head. I haven’t had a cavity in 45 years. But he insisted. So I did. And payed the upcharge that insurance didn’t cover. Haven’t heard boo about the new machine since. I don’t think they have it any more