June Bugs and Bothers (mini-rant)

The BBQ Pit
141

Ugh. I work in a medical center, specifically in the clinic building. The elevators get very busy during certain times (start and end of day, around lunch hour) and the doors do not stay open long if no one is going through them, which is detected via some kind of electric eye sensor thing inside the doors. There’s a prolonged beep if the sensor is detecting people passing through.

The other day, I was waiting for an up elevator during the lunch hour period, and a couple hospital volunteers were pushing a patient’s wheelchair and chatting with his family members. They wait for an up elevator as well. Finally one arrives, and immediately inside the doors, blocking entry, are an older couple. The elevator is otherwise empty. They look out, confused, not sure if this is their floor. They’re speaking an Eastern European language to each other, maybe Polish.

If this group wasn’t blocking the way to the elevator, I would have walked up to one side of the elevator, placed my hand and arm across the side of the door (to trip the sensor), smiled at the couple, and maybe said what floor number it was (people manage to miss the floor numbers on the frame of the door, as well as the number display in two places inside the elevator). If they still stood there, I would have said something like “excuse us, please” and went inside the elevator to clear a path for the group behind me and hold the Open Door button.

One of the volunteers, instead, stood there for a while, then walked up to block the door and started talking to the oblivious couple (in English) without touching the door. When it started closing, instead of tripping the sensor, she ineffectually pulled at the outer edge of the door with her fingertips until it closed.

Man, I hope she was new. Not only was she in their faces and blocking their egress should they have realized it was their floor, they also might or might not have understood her (I figured if they didn’t speak English well, a floor number would be easier to understand than something like, “Excuse me, are you getting off here, we need to…”), and she doesn’t even understand how the elevators function. :smack:

142

We just spent 3 days at my uncle’s with him and his wife. I love my uncle to pieces, but his wife… she has the worst combination of traits- ignorant and stupid, and also a bigmouth who talks constantly. I got to listen to how many gay people choose to be gay because they’re just tired of the opposite sex and how they only want to get married so that they can “manipulate the system” and get benefits from their partners’ employers. The worst part about our visit is that I was stuck alone with her for two days from breakfast to supper, and she doesn’t eat lunch and never offered to feed me. How dare you starve your houseguests, lady! I could have died! :stuck_out_tongue: Seriously, I can’t stand her. I’d spent small amounts of time with her before and liked her, but this time my eyes were opened. I can’t spend that much time over there anymore- now I have to find a good excuse. In the meantime, let me just say…

AAAARRRRGGGHHHHH!!!
I feel better now. I like these rant threads.

143

Rant #1: I’m about to go Caddyshack on those fucking bunnies that keep eating my chilis outside. Little bastards. I. Will. Hunt. You. Down. Or at least spray the chilis with something that makes you stop eating them. How the hell does a bunny down that many serranos anyway? Do I have some fire-breathing bunnies around here and don’t know it?

Rant #2: I hate job searching. I hate the networking. I hate sending out (targeted) resume after resume. Yeah, I’ve been lucky enough to get some callbacks which I’m following up on, but goddammit, I miss working. But it was my choice to leave that shithole. And there’s a silver lining: my boss was fired two weeks after I left for driving me away. So, fuck you, douchebag. At least I have the satisfaction of finally seeing you drop-kicked out the damn door. Karma’s a bitch, ain’t it?

Rant #3: I’m pissed at myself for letting myself gain so much fucking weight these past few weeks. Yeah, it’s my own damn fault. Sure I could’ve put down the ice cream and backed away. But I consciously didn’t because I decided I didn’t care. Until I put my pants on for a networking event yesterday and found them a tad snug. Goddammit. Which leads me to the next (and final rant):

Rant #4: Despite not liking networking at all, most of the events I’ve been to recently have been shockingly pleasant. However, the one I went to this morning sucked ass. Not only was it held outside on a hot summer’s day in a location with very little shade (though it did force people to congregate under the one teeny bit of shade there was, which of course made all of us sweat), the people attending were clique-ish assholes who stared at me as if I had an extra head when I introduced myself. I don’t know any of you. I get that. But it’s a networking event, for God’s sake, not a hang-out-with-your-cronies-and-avoid-new-people event. Oh, well. At least I know I don’t want to join that group. It sucked.

144

Reviewing my participation in this thread so far, I observe that I haven’t mini-ranted about a damn thing yet. Well, here we are, a month into June, and that’s about to change.

Hey, newbie! Hey, hi, how are you?* I had this thread well and truly killed with this post! And then you had to go and resurrect it. :frowning:

Admittedly, they don’t hand out trophies for the most threads killed around here (or if they do, they’re not telling ME about it), but SOME of us like to put a li’l notch on the old gunbelt once in a while. Now I have to go fill one of mine back in. :(:frowning:

Seriously, Hey, hi, how are you?, welcome to the Dope. Hope you have a good time here. :slight_smile:

145

Oh god yet another stupid pm about job leads.

Listen to me.

You want me to tell you the name of companies that I know that are hiring for decent paying, legitimate work at home jobs?

Okay.

I want a few things in turn.

First of all don’t write like a moron. Yeah this isn’t a spelling or grammar test but if I can’t figure out what you’re saying I will not bother with you.

Second of all if you don’t have the qualifications required they will not hire you and I will not forward you the info to apply. In many cases this is a college degree. If you don’t have one don’t fucking tell me to it doesn’t count and I should get them to hire you anyway. I can’t and I won’t. They don’t care if you if you have an associates degree or ten years of life experience or plan on getting your degree in a year. They want it now or they won’t hire you.

Third of all don’t expect a detailed message about the jobs. Do your own damned research. I am not there to investigate job leads for you. I am a busy working mother. My time is valuable. Treat it that way.

Forthly these are jobs. Yes they are work at home jobs but they’re still jobs. You will have to work. No one’s going to pay you to sit at home on your ass and do nothing. You will have go through an application process and provide a resume usually. Don’t whine to me that the job in question doesn’t pay twenty dollars an hour or you are expected to work on weekends or you may need to buy a headset and you can’t have screaming kids in the background when you work. No job is perfect so I have no idea why you expect this one to be.

Finally have the grace to thank me when I respond to you. We’re strangers. I am generously giving you my time and effort for free. I don’t benefit when you find a job. Don’t you dare whine that you see me posting online or noted that I wrote about going out for dinner that night instead of answering your twelfth pm of the day.

I am a nice person. Treat me nicely and I will share what I can for you for nothing. Treat me a like slave who should be lucky to do your bidding and you can go to hell.

146

I suggest your future response to such PMs be “I’m sorry, I no longer provide this information as too many people in the past have been demanding, ungrateful and filled with excuses. I suggest that a few minutes on Google or one of the various job boards would be a more effective use of your time.”
Last night we had a micro-burst of rain. Caught everyone by surprise. I was wandering around my apartment when suddenly I heard the little kids outside screaming their heads off. Looked out to see it pouring.

I needed to water the plants on my deck last night, but couldn’t because my asshole downstairs neighbors were out there. The decks are covered from above, so they don’t get any rain (well, depending on the direction and wind…) However, they went inside during the rain, so I took advantage of that to step out and water my plants.

TWO WHOLE DROPS of water fell down onto their deck while I watered my plants. Mommy Dearest comes out, stalks around closely examining her deck, then walks inside screaming her head off in whatever language she speaks. Will probably complain to the complex manager about it too.

Two drops of water hit your deck, mere drops from the edge of my watering jugs.
Meanwhile, thousands of gallons of water are falling from the sky every second.

Go.
Fuck.
Yourself.

Again.

I get to water my plants, bitch. And a couple of drops on your deck, not hitting a blessed thing, are causing you absolutely no harm. You, however, are harassing me.

147

You should have seen this one. It was insane. She literally sent me a questionnaire containing fifteen detailed questions. The topper? She asks if I can please get back to her by Friday at the latest as she is desperate for a job. If this is the way she approaches potential employers I can imagine why she’s desperate.

I’m really tempted to tell her I’ll be happy to answer her questions . . . just as long as she pays me $25 an hour in advance with a four hour minimum.

It reminds me of a plumber I found plagiarizing two of my articles online a few years ago. He finally got around to taking them down a week later . . . and then asked I was interested in writing for him directly. He was willing to “pay” me $5 for five hundred words. I was half tempted to tell him I was game just as long as he would come to my house and fix my plumbing for five bucks an hour.

148

“How about a barter swap? I’ll trade you 500 words of Written Content for every hour of plumbing work you do for me. Do we have a deal?”

Yeah, the PM demanding all that information?

One word response.

“No”.

149

What the flying fuck Directv? I keep having the same damn problem with your HR24-500 with 0x059e software (If I record a program between channels 2-300, it won’t let me pretty much any other channel, i just get a black screen if I turn it there and no, I am only recording one program at once!) and all you do is come to my house and replace my remote?

What goddamn fucking nonsense is this bullshit? Did the reset twice/nvram spiel and I don’t want another remote to “solve” my fucking problem.

This problem doesn’t happen when the tech is here and they make me look like i’m fucking nuts…

Fuck you Directv! If this shit doesn’t resolve you I’m going to dish you bloated son of a red-headed DVR!

150

So we had a mini cyclone here yesterday.

Story here.

It happened a few blocks away from home. I was home at the time and it was a shitty day weatherwise. I thought I heard some thunder- it was actually some roofs being blown off.

I didn’t even know it happened until my wife rang and asked if I survived okay. I could have pretended I survived by the skin of my teeth and had a beer at lunch time!

151

As usual: Yes, Mom, I AM still in my pajamas. Why? Because I can. Yes, I am working. I know, you can’t tell as I’m just sitting on the couch with a “computer thingy”. Why do we have to go through this every time you come over?

And yes, Mom, my house WILL be cleaned by next Saturday (TheKid’s grad party). In fact, my house is pretty clean right now, just needs a quick once over. I know, I was a very messy child, and I know the fact that I actually wash dishes / take out trash / clean the toilet totally blows your mind. It’s been 18 years since I’ve been out of your house, I think I’ve learned.

AND yes, Mom, we are BBQ’ing for her grad party. I don’t care if you don’t like it, it’s what TheKid wants. You’re not going to be doing the grilling, so I don’t know what your issue is - other than the expense of burgers/hot dogs. Which is why I’m paying for it, not you. It’s… not… your… job. I can take care of myself, believe it or not. Granted, I am stressed and paying for everything will put a stress on our meager budget, but it’s her day to celebrate her accomplishment. Quit interfering.

152

One other minor"esque" rant:

Ann Arbor Craigslist - Video Games

Notice something wrong? Yeah the dealers are posting their fucking cellphones and tablets in the Video Game section. Keep reporting them for miscatergorization and Craigslist doesn’t give two ** shits**.

I just want to shove their face in previous said pile of shit like a bad dog they are!

BAD DOG! BAD!

153

The short: Prospective customers, stop getting pissy with me because I tell you it’s something you can handle yourself, how to handle it yourself, and bam! Save you several thousand dollars.

The long: seriously, you would not believe how many folks call up our business and, upon me telling them that their tax situation is something they can handle themselves, start screaming and yelling and cursing at me- “Oh, you don’t WANT my money?! Fine! I’ll call back the other company that WANTS my business!”

What the hell, people? If you owe the IRS under $25,000, it’s considered a small dollar collection issue to them. That means that you can quite reasonably set up your own payment plan and save yourself the several thousand dollars that you’d pay a company. . . a company that will end up doing exactly what I just explained to you how to do yourself! And yes, by ALL MEANS, call back the other company off of the TV who promised you the moon and stars all for some cash in hand. Guess what? They are lying to you to get your money. Take ten seconds to Google the company before you send them your debit card info, please. Unlike that company, we aren’t a bunch of scumbags, so I’m not going to take your money for something you can do yourself for freaking free.

Aye aye aye!

154

I don’t get it. What are cellphones and tablets for besides video games? :confused:

155

Damn spiders are bigger this year. Only remember little bitty spiders from last year. Now they are almost like little animals- smaller than a mouse, but bigger than a mote. And they crawl in very conspicuous places so they are like an annoying, repetitive commercial for freaking out my gf.

With most bugs I will try to catch them or otherwise herd them and get them back outdoors alive. I’d just rather not kill bugs since they aren’t really a threat, only annoying. My gf pretty much wants me to kill all bugs, which is a source of conflict. But not this year- I am hoping to kill them all before my gf realizes just how many big spiders are suddenly crawling around this place.

So I don’t like the spiders, and I like me less too now. But I’ll get over it.

156

One of the cd-rom drives on my computer won’t open.

157

Most CD drives have a little tiny hole somewhere near the eject button, where you can stick in something like a pin or unfolded paperclip and get it to open.

158

I’m not sure who to Pit for this - I suppose there’s blame to be spread around to at least two parties, me and the cat’s owners. There is a cat who comes around my yard frequently, and fights with/bothers my two cats who are legally lounging in their (senior) cat-proofed back yard (my cats are old and don’t jump much any longer, so the fence keeps them in; the other cat is young and jumps the fence easily). This cat was out front the other day, and I chased it off. Unfortunately, I chased it onto the road into the path of an oncoming car (and yes, I saw the car, and no, I didn’t stop, although at that point the cat would have probably kept running anyway). The cat was hit, but was able to limp off - I called animal services to have the cat picked up and looked after, and I don’t know what came of it.

If the cat is dead, I feel bad about my role in causing that, but if the owners had kept their cat at home like the law here requires, he’d still be alive.

159

Calling? Productivity Apps? Text Messaging? I think I’m getting whooshed.

(You can’t exactly send that important memo from your xbox360 or that NES! :smiley: )

160

This needs to be repeated, because it can be very, very handy sometimes. I’ve found that a pin sometimes isn’t strong enough, but an unfolded paperclip does the job nicely.