March begins with me failing to completely tighten a jar of pickles in my lunch bag. Which I somehow managed to knock over in my car!:mad: On my passenger seat. :smack:This shit will never come out.
I now drive a pickle car.
In February, my MIL and favorite uncle passed away.
Listen up, March: You need get your shit together and be a MUCH better goddamn month, or so help me, I will shoot you in the head and fuck the brainhole.
For what it’s worth, when I threw up all over the inside of my car a while back, getting it detailed helped a lot, as did leaving all the windows opened while it was parked in the garage for a week or so. I did not drive a vomit car for the rest of the time I had it, and you are not going to drive a pickle car forever, either.
Still processing the job loss, but I’m making progress. I was able to get an appointment with my therapist yesterday afternoon, and I was a sodden mess on her couch for an hour, but I felt well enough afterward to have a brief phone conversation with my parents and even tell them that I needed to get off the phone when I was done without either nuking our relationship or sitting around listening to them process their upset for longer than I could handle.
My brother had a package of steak sneak out of the grocery bag and under the passenger seat and not discovered for too many days many years ago.
I’d take pickles over eau de corpus delecti any time.
I had a dog with diarrhea, going to the vet…
You don’t want to know more, trust me.
Oh yeah, fun with the dog. Ours had a lump just above his ass (below his tail). Vet looks at it and says “Those tend to be cancer”. So he’s had surgery ($1200) and now we’re waiting to get the results back to find out if it really was cancer. If so they may recommend radiation treatments.
Hey, “Fuck off!” isn’t allowed in the Pit! 
I thought it was, as long as it’s not directed at an individual. In that case, it has to be fucko off, or something. I need to do more research.
Stuck my 17 year old daughter in detox on Monday, she is to be released into 6 weeks of inpatient rehab next Monday. Inprocessing was done with my daughter’s mom/my ex. Update meeting with the detoxers tonight with me, ex, and my current wife. My wives get along famously, but I get physically ill (anxiety) if I spend more than a few minutes in the same room as the ex. I will nerve vomit tonight before bed. I love my daughter.
(Is too! There are other variants that aren’t.)
If I may join the ranting? My kiddo has had stomach issues for a few weeks, so the doctor ordered fecal tests. He did the deed into a “hat” and I got to parcel the bits into a series of different containers. That was a few hours ago, and I still feel nauseous.
Ugh.
Retest.
You can say “fuck off” in the Pit, as long as it’s not “fuck off and die.”
That’s for members. It is perfectly OK to wish for cancer to fuck off and die.
- I am sorry for your loss, even if this is the Pit
- If you fuck the entrance wound as opposed to the exit wound I will forever brand you “pencil dick”.
My mom brought home her leftover fish from a restaurant dinner and left it in her car. For over a week (while she was on a trip). In the summer. In Georgia. OMG, that was bad for a loooong time.
March ain’t done me no wrong yet, so I’ll just leave here now.
People say your own kids poop doesn’t bother you. They are wrong.
We went through all that. It was her gall bladder. Removal, all is well.
Being female she has monthly cramps.
I swear I am gonna call Guinness book of world records to come watch her sqirm, cry and complain, It’s epic!
That’s just mean. If it happens, I think I’ll just take him to the lab and let them handle it.
I feel kind of weird about march since I was supposed to be born in may and came two months early on the 31st … this year its the day before easter …
Mom said that was the only time I was ever early for anything in my life …
Well, shit! My wife’s truck took a big dump tonight. Raining/snowing too hard to diagnose right now, but I suspect at least a blown head gasket, maybe worse…
Actually, if it’s just the head gasket, I can get that going again pretty cheap. But still. I’m annoyed and sad.
(sad because now she’ll have to use one of my cars and she isn’t very good to them)
Gato, go buy that girl a new truck.
Wow, the first day of March has certainly brought a lot of bad stuff all ready and here I was still chuckling about PHS’s post from last month.
I’m unclear on the rules, can we still use retard when we are talking about an inbred cat who’s development has been retarded? Because Simple the cat deserves that label. When my BB is at a job site, he understands that all cats in the area need to be fixed and rehomed if they are nice ones or tipped and released if they are feral.
He does this because it makes him look like not so much like JR (even though I have bought him several very nice felt cowboy hats and force him to wear them when I have to wear sparkly things.) as far as the whole earth raping thing and because he doesn’t like sleeping in the guest room.
Simple was part of a colony of females who weren’t very picky about who was related to who when they went into heat. Most of the kittens they caught were too deformed to survive, but Simple managed that. Simple is a pretty good cat. He can’t really jump because of his malformed hips and he can’t sit up long enough to claw the furniture. He has a big red rubber band as his toy and comfort item. He can’t figure out how to use the kitty door to get to the catio, and is afraid if one of us opens the door and stands by it.
I just heard him crying at the door, so opened the door and walked into the next room so he would feel safe. In an hour or so, I will have to go back and let him in, because despite him watching the other cats go in and out, he will just sit by the door and cry until someone opens it again.
Maybe he’s not the Simple one in this relationship after all.
I have had, shall we say, not so smart, pets.
My. Yorkie isn’t real bright. She walks into things a bunch. I have ask the vet if maybe her eye sight was bad. He thought not.
She’s just dumb. Never has learned the first trick or command. If you try working with her on commands, she lays on her back. My only requirement for her was potty training, and that went well-ish. I think I am more trained than her. But, all in all, our relationship works. At this time in my life I don’t want a dog who could outsmart me. So it’s perfect. Most cats I have had were medium smart. Til I got the Siamese, wow they are too smart. They own me.
I don’t mind dumb animals.
We tend to think of our Siamese mix as a bit dim, but her predecessor (believed to be a Maine Coon mix) was easily the smartest cat of all the many who’ve owned me over the years. She’s probably at least average intelligence for a cat, but just looks dumb by comparison.