This is one of my favorite threads, which I thought was lost forever in the Great Whiteout. I was about to add some comments to it when the Board crashed.
After finding the thread on http://www.boardreader.com, I have decided to re-present it here in its former glory, and maybe I’ll eventually remember the comments I was going to add.
atomicdog
Member
Registered: May 2000
Posts: 111
In this episode, we have, courtesy of Q, collected across space and time, two sets of the finest engineers ever to wear the Starfleet uniform. Heading up the Red Team, we have the legendary Captain Montgomery Scott, chief engineer of the U.S.S. Enterprise (no bloody A, B, C, or D) backed up by U.S.S. Voyager chief of engineering Lt. B’Elanna Torres and Enterprise chief engineer (this is getting confusing!) Lt. Commander Charles “Trip” Tucker.
On the Blue Team, led by the versatile U.S.S. Enterprise-E Lt. Commander Geordi LaForge, we also have Deep Space Nine Chief of Operations Miles O’Brien and his assistant, Rom of Ferenginar.
They have been transported to the surplus depot at Qualor II and given just ten hours to build–What?
Here, I’m stuck. Fellow dopers, what should the TrekYard Wars teams build?
BTW, As an annoyance factor, I’ve decided to add Wesley Crusher to the Red Team and Nog to the Blue.
Also, do you have any team members to add?
01-09-2002 06:21 PM
Weirddave
Member
Registered: Apr 1999
Posts: 2822
How about a continuity generator? We Trek fans like to pretend it exists, but whenever it comes down to something that looks cool vs spending 5 minutes to think of something else that is consistant with the rest of the series, “looks cool” wins every time.
01-09-2002 07:21 PM
mobo85
Member
Registered: Oct 2000
Posts: 617
A scale-model replica of the Starship Enterprise or some sort of starship. When they are done, they can race them for the challenge portion.
Kinda stupid, but it was the first thing that came to mind.
01-09-2002 07:31 PM
Enola Straight
Member
Registered: Jan 2001
Posts: 755
They must construct an interstellar transporter.
Using the junkyard parts at Qalor 2 They must create a working transporter (the quintessential technology
associated with Star Trek) which is capable of beaming the entire team from the junkyard, transmitting the transporter signan to a subspace relay, and materialize on Earth, all
safe and sound.
01-09-2002 07:41 PM
aramis
Member
Registered: May 2000
Posts: 215
How about a device that can cause a ship’s shields to randomly change their modulation harmonics, or whatever the proper technobabble? After all the times they’ve had to do this, I can’t believe Start Fleet hasn’t made it a standard part of ships’ design. If I was a SF captain, that’d be one of the first orders of business when took over the ship, “Mr Chief Engineeer, get thee to modulating my harmonics so they are perpetually randomized!”
As for the competition, Scotty’d have it done in a couple of hours. Geordi could do it that fast too, but he’d waste several hours prototyping it in the holodeck first. As for the others, they’d mostly just get in the way except Chief O’Brien. B’Elanna would get pissed off at somebody and Trip would inhale some dust and lose his mind again.
… Whether it happens in a hundred years or a thousand years or a million years, eventually our Sun will grow cold and go out. When that happens, it won’t just take us. It’ll take Marilyn Monroe and Lao-Tzu and Einstein and Morobuto and Buddy Holly and Aristophanes… and all of this… all of this was for nothing unless we go to the stars.
– Mary Ann Cramer interviews Cmdr. Jeffrey Sinclair on Babylon 5
01-09-2002 09:59 PM
sturmhauke
Member
Registered: Nov 2000
Posts: 501
They must each build a full-scale Super Dimension Fortress. For the challenge portion, they must hyperspace their SDFs to Borg space, kill 10 cubes each, hyperspace to the Invid homeworld, fight through the defense forces to get more Protoculture, then get back to Qualor II and duke it out.
01-10-2002 05:55 AM
elf6c
Member
Registered: Oct 2001
Posts: 64
Deflector dish of course
Both teams have to build a Deflector dish, which they then have to modify on the day of the competition to emit a tachyon (baryon, neutrino, anti-proton-- you get the idea)pulse to close a subspace rift in the space-time continum. Oh wait, they have done that a million times already . . . .
Build a sub-space radio out of alien parts— must have scratchy reception even though its digital. Oh wait, did that a thousand times too. . . .
How about a Klingon de-bumper-- so they can regain that classic Star Trek look of Kirk’s era?
-me
“Here’s to alcohol, the cause of, and solution to, all of life’s problems”
- Homer Simpson
01-10-2002 08:33 AM
vanilla
Member
Registered: Mar 2000
Posts: 2980
Ha. My son loves that show.
01-10-2002 08:43 AM
Dinsdale
Member
Registered: May 2000
Posts: 2343
How about a Vulcan Pon Faar (sp?) - um - “stress reduction aid”?
Harry Mudd could be the celebrity judge/commentator.
01-10-2002 10:25 AM
Frank The Lost Ramone
Member
Registered: Dec 2001
Posts: 55
I dunno, I was a big fan of the pumpkin chuckin’ machine. Make 'em build one of those
01-10-2002 10:33 AM
Munch
Member
Registered: Mar 2000
Posts: 2469
I think those teams are horribly unbalanced. The Red Team would mop up with the Blue Team. Trip, Scotty, Belana and Wes have a full spectrum of experience and ability. Hell, Trip alone would kick ass in a junkyard. The Red Team’s experience relies mostly on lab conditions and testable prototypes. Plus, it seems that everytime Crusher sneezes on something, it magically repairs itself or evolves into the next generation of technology.
Make 'em build a Janeway Personality Enhancer.
01-10-2002 11:06 AM
Yondan
Member
Registered: Oct 2001
Posts: 333
A female android for Data! They could call it a Data-mate, and…Hey! Leggo my leg! Whattaya doin? Help! ::dragged off kicking and screaming::
01-10-2002 11:08 AM
cmburns
Member
Registered: Dec 2000
Posts: 163
Well, the things they build on the current show tend to be useless but kind of cool, not really things that the people need in their everyday lives. Granted, an air-powered rugby ball catapult could be fun to have in the backyard, but it’s still not really critical equipment.
So I would say something like a four man interplanetary shuttle that has to zip over to a nearby asteroid, harvest a certain volume of a certain metal, then race back through a slalom course of self-replicating but low-yield mines. They’d have to build something that could carry them all safely, identify an ore, harvest and collect it, and be maneuverable enough and fast enough to get back to the finish line first. Cathy Rogers’ great-great-great-etc granddaughter (looking quite lovely despite her hideous black, silver, and grey Starfleet uniform complete with bellbottoms and apron) will be at the finish line waving a green space flag for the winner.
Or even better, how about a Wesley Crusher Crusher? I’d tune in to see that.
01-10-2002 12:14 PM
Beeblebrox
Member
Registered: Jul 2001
Posts: 440
Keep it simple, just have them build a shuttle. It’d be entertaining, but I’m not sure either team could pull it off.
I envision Wesly emoliating his entire team in a shower of sparks after neglegting to install any circuit breakers into the control console of their prototype shuttle. On the other side of the junkyard, the blue team is at a standstill while Geordi attempts to “reverse the polarity” of the carbuerator from a 1973 Chevy Nova.
Regardless of the outcome, it’d be good TV.
01-10-2002 12:27 PM