OK, I’ll admit - I was only sporadically watching this, while also watching the Olympics, the Giants game, Airline, Silverado, and Deep Sea Detectives. (Why yes, my wife is out of town, why do you ask? :)).
But the parts I did see…wow. Let’s discuss, b/c I’m hoping all these bizarre plot holes were explained while I wasn’t watching.
• Why were all the dinosaurs so much more colorful than before? We’re talking the same species that were one shade of green recently. (8 years ago - did I remember that right?). Now they’re green, red, have white stripes, yellow streaks, etc. That’s some speedy evolution.
• Why do I get the feeling that if there’s a Jurassic Park 4, the Raptors will be wearing smoking jackets and hosting Masterpiece Theater? Couldn’t the writers have ratcheted down their cleverness a little?
• And let’s talk about that cleverness. They were smart enough to set traps, open doors, climb over fences, call for help, etc. So why did they become so stupid at the end? Fooled by the sound coming out of a Raptor skull, emitted right in front of them by their prey? C’mon. And why were they negotiating for the eggs? As soon as those eggs hit the ground, they would have all been dead.
• Don’t you think Tea Leoni would have made sure she shut the Aviary door all the way?
• Is Ellie the daughter of a 4 star General? She gets a call from her boyfriend and scrambles half the Navy to rescue them down in Central America. They arrive in what has to be some kind of deployment speed record, complete with what looks like a squadron of troops, those amphibious landing vehicles, helicopters, and what looked like two Naval Destroyers parked off shore. You betcha. “General, we’ve got four people trapped by some dinosaurs in Central America.” “Mother of GOD. Get SAC on the line! Scramble the bombers! We are at DEFCON THREE!!!”
• How insulting is it to have the guy that was being attacked by the Pterodactyls show up in a stretcher at the end? Sam Niell calls his g/f, then she calls in the Navy and says “Oh, and although everyone else is dead, can you search around nearby and provide medical assistance to those who might not be dead before rescuing the people that called me?” And who gives a shit about that guy anyway? I’d much rather have seen Michael Jeter survive.
• Did everyone lose their minds in the last scene as the Pterodactyl were flying away? Why were they suddenly treated with such reverence? “Oh, look at those magnificent creatures. I wonder where they’re going? It’s a whole new world for them…” Huh-WHAT!!! How about blowing them out of the sky, since they are an obvious threat to humans no matter where they’re going?
Blarg.