Jury acquits woman who got a little testy

[JonScribe]

The Associated Press reports:

Link

A jury has acquitted a woman of twisting her 73-year-old boyfriend’s testicle so hard it had to be removed. He testified he still loved her and was able to walk off the pain.

The Spokane County Superior Court jury acquitted Jane “Doobie” Pemberton on Thursday of assault, harassment and attempted robbery charges in the Sept. 18 incident involving William Boomer in Boomer’s home.

Boomer, a retired adult bookstore owner, testified during the trial this week that Pemberton assaulted him after he refused to give her $45.

Assistant Public Defender Matthew Harget argued that Pemberton, 52, twisted on the man’s crotch only as a last resort to ward off a sexual assault by a drunken, Viagra-popping boyfriend.

The story features the best walk-off I’ve read in a long, long time.

It was the second time Pemberton was tried on the charges. Her first trial ended in a hung jury.

[treis]

A jury has acquitted a woman of twisting her 73-year-old boyfriend’s testicle so hard it had to be removed. He testified he still loved her and was able to walk off the pain.

The Spokane County Superior Court jury acquitted Jane “Doobie” Pemberton on Thursday of assault, harassment and attempted robbery charges in the Sept. 18 incident involving William Boomer in Boomer’s home.

:eek:

She must have been really yanking on that thing to get an attempted robbery charge. Yikes!

[Spatial_Rift_47]

I can’t believe she had the balls to do that.

[Emperor_Penguin]

There are some many things in that article that deserve comment, I don’t even know where to start.

Doobie? Boomer? Former Adult Bookstore owner? Viagra Popping? Tremendously Torqued Testicles? It’s like the pilot episode of a bad sitcom. A FOX sitcom.

I do have to give credit to Mr Boomer though. If it had been me, I would not be “Walking it off”, unless of course by walking it off you mean “curled in the fetal position retching and crying in agony”

I just bet he thought she was joking around, and she just wanted to show him that she wasn’t pulling his leg.

[Little_Nemo]

Somebody needs to sit this woman down and explain what a metaphor is.

[GrizzRich]

[quote]
…a little testy…*

:smack:

<snrk>
NOW I get it!

[Malacandra]

That’s a riot. :rolleyes:

[Tripler]

Man, I’ve had my balls in the wringer before, but. . . :eek:

Tripler
Gives a whole new meaning to the term “Twisted Sister”, don’t it?

[PunditLisa]

A woman twisted her boyfriend’s testicles off: You go, nad.

[Lionne]

@Emperor Penguin

I just bet he thought she was joking around, and she just wanted to show him that she wasn’t pulling his leg.

So, to show him she wasn’t pulling his leg, she decides to pull his…
Well, it worked!

[Kythereia]

@The Associated Press

It was the second time Pemberton was tried on the charges. Her first trial ended in a hung jury.

There is no way that wasn’t deliberate.

[Happy_Lendervedder]

@Spatial Rift 47

I can’t believe she had the balls to do that.

I can’t believe he had the balls to go back with her after the first attempt.

[soulmurk]

Harget asked Boomer how much the twisting, for what he testified was an estimated 35 to 40 minutes, must have hurt. “Actually, it was not anything that you can’t walk off,” Boomer replied.

:eek:

Of course he was able to walk it off; he had three legs after a half an hour of that.
Gives new meaning to playing naked twister.

[Moirai]

… a little testy…

… you go nad…

I am wiping away the tears…

[Spatial_Rift_47]

@Happy Lendervedder

I can’t believe he had the balls to go back with her after the first attempt.

He almost didn’t, had she yanked just a little harder.

[danceswithcats]

Sometimes you feel like a nut…

[Marlitharn]

I have never been filled with enough anger at a man to fuel a half-hour marathon of testicle-twisting. That lady can sure hold a grudge.

[Asimovian]

And to think, I never believed that this link would ever prove to be of use on the SDMB. Thank you ever so much, “Doobie.”

[catsix]

Yeah it’s just hilarious when a woman injures a man severely and gets away with it.

She should’ve been convicted of, at least, assault.

Somehow I doubt he’d have gotten away with it if he injured her to the point that she had to have a breast removed.

[saoirse]

@Asimovian

And to think, I never believed that this link would ever prove to be of use on the SDMB. Thank you ever so much, “Doobie.”

Well, I’ll have to start looking for a crotch buddy now.