Just a Thought....

The BBQ Pit
1

In many situations here in the Pit I have seen some big battles evolve. I’ve been in many of them myself. Granted, there are times when we feel the need to argue and fight over the way we feel on a particular given issue. But in the scheme of things does it -always- really matter that much? Do you feel the need to confront someone because they made a minor mistake or because they think a certain way?

This is just a message board and I’ve seen some big battles here over really meaningless/small stuff. If your goal is to totally eradicate ignorance and have the world be a perfect place, well IMO, you’re setting yourself up for much frustration and unhappiness in life. There will always be people that’ll disagree with your point of view, things that don’t work out and people that do things differently.

I’ve noticed in many board fights I’ve jumped into: I’ve pulled myself away from my calm feelings because my ego had tricked me into the thought that proving someone else wrong, and slamming them, would make me feel good. It didn’t make me feel good. And lately, I’ve found by choosing my battles more wisely…I’m hardly feeling the need to do battle much.

Maybe some of you should try not to make a big deal out of something relatively small in the scheme of things and just let it go. By taking the time to choose your battles more wisely, you’ll be more effective in winning the battles you engage in, as well as feel better.

Just a thought.

2

Well your point is worthless and wrong…casue I say so.
Only kidding, you are actually very right. If more Dopers took that view, the hard feelings the come from such heated discussions would be far less.

3

Sounds like a plan Silo

4

You’re right, but you’re also overblowing the problem.
People who insult here may be airheads and pilers-on,
but they get enough official support to pull it off.
If they enforced the jerk rule here, most of the pit posters
would be on probation.

So, you just have to consider it part of the territory.

The key is to know when to just leave a thread and not look at it for a day. Everything is small stuff a day later.

And after a week of ignoring a thread, you can read it and
say “Damn, I’m glad I didn’t try to fight every airhead here. They won’t ever change and it just strains my blood pressure.”

5

Official support? Just because we don’t demand a group hug every time a poster gets cranky doesn’t mean they get the Alphagene Seal of Approval[sup]TM[/sup].

6

I feel the same way, lately. The last part of the premise is wrong, though. It is impossible to “win” down here. I have never seen someone say; “oh! Good Christ! You’re right! Sorry about that!” Most of the battles are about aesthetics or a point which has merits on both sides of the argument. No accounting for opinion or taste. That SUV thread is a good case in point.

7

I’d just like to point out that I’ve won a couple times in the pit.

8

What gives you the silly notion that they DON’T enforce the “Jerk Rule” here? Just because there’s a lot more leeway about what may or may not be said, that doesn’t mean that gratuitous insults are allowed.

9

Fuck you spoofe!

The only reason that Flagpole Sitter song isn’t about you is cause it didn’t have bristles at the end :smiley:

10

Yeah, well, bite me, you mungbait. You’re just jealous 'cuz you couldn’t land a sweet piece of 'brush, no matter how many drinks you pump into it.

Some guys got it, and some don’t. Deal with it. :smiley:

11

::aside::

We’ve replaced SPOOFE Bo Diddly’s toothbrush with a Clone Your Bone kit made from iampunha. Let’s see if he notices…

12

iampunha?!? No WONDER it felt so small lately!

Uh…

Umm…

On second thought… No comment.

13

Silo,

I know your intentions are pure and honest but you are singing to the choir hun. No matter what, people are going to get their panties in a bunch over the most stupid shit known to man. Hell even I sang that to the choir once or twice before (add a few more if that suits you), as many will attest to.

Yes, the Pit can be a shitty place to be on the end of the kabob stick cuz your ass might just fall into the fire but if one has a beef, might as well let it out in the open rather than stowing it in locked storage. Without that it comes out in one big fucked up bundle as I have demonstrated in the past. Not a pretty site.

I am not proud of all my Pit threads, I have been knocked many a times…but hey I say, FUCK IT. I may not be back full force but I will not let a few screw up my enjoyment of the SD anymore…

If the assholes can’t deal with me, they have one of two choices, they can either confront me directly or they can talk about me behind my back…well okay they have another choice to, they can just deal with me or you or anyone else. (Using me as a strong example for past shit.)

Anyhow my dear, I know what you are saying but sometimes the best way to deal with the shit is to get it out. A recommended therapy by many…not always the smartest answer but if you feel better by it then go for it.

In either case Silo, I wish what you said would work for the masses but I don’t think it can or will. I think people can be too wrapped up in their own lives to know the difference. They can’t get past the past and want to dwell on it. Then there’s the idea that someone says something that really pisses them off in another thread. Better to take it here than the original thread. I don’t think this is a personal front more than the idea that a person brought up really rubs another the wrong way. Ideas spark debate, sometimes debate can bring out the worst.

I know you mean well hun, I really do but there are a lot of assholes out there that touch buttons, real life or not, whether they realize it or not, this is a community and these things will happen. Shit it happens in real life too.

On a side note: (sorry Silo I need to do this as I didn’t want to start a thread about it)

For those of you wondering, despite a serious injury to my right shoulder recently, my life is doing the best it has been in a year, even with a weight gain which I hate. No need to pull up past shit, no need to harp on the things that have happened. I can only hope that many are big enough to look past the pity they feel towards me from my past drinking and medications and many know what I am talking about…the drinking is under control, the medications are not there because the fact that I have never been able to tolerate them, never will be able to, there is not a depression medication out there that has done a bit of good for me because my issues don’t stem from depression they stem from my ADD. One must treat the cause not the problem.

In addition to that, if you feel hatred towards me, I feel none towards any of you. I do things the way I feel is best for me, and it may not be appropriate for you to hear at that time, but hey, we are all imperfect, we all have our quirks, we all have things in our lives that make us who we are. With out that we are nothing, little more than a speck. If I am a speck in some of your eyes, cool, I have no ill feelings but I do hope that somewhere in your hearts you can get past that and deal with the fact that we are different. We don’t have to be friends but I do ask that you do your damndest to respect my want to be here and to be a part of this community, as I will do the same. Other than that, we can only agree to disagree, not a bad thing but if taken to the point of hatred only hurts us all.

So Silo, the Pit thing may seem trivial at times but at times it can be cleansing. Sometimes the only words are harsh words, even it it hurts another. Is it right? Is it wrong? No, there is no clear answer. But if the person starting the thread is cleansed in the smallest of ways then maybe the outcome is good for future interactions. Without an outlet, the world is bottled up and ready to explode like a pop that has been shaken up.

14

Fuck you, Techchick. I love you.

:smiley:

15

Oh come on over here and fuck me SPOOFE…you know, I know we both want it.

:smiley:

16

Ah well, I for one think the pit is great. Certainly not for the faint of heart, but a very nice place indeed to unload your crap. It’s refreshing to be able to add “fuck you, you monkey-mongrel, vapid hat-stand dolt nubbin fart-knocker” to your carefully thought out argument.

17

Well, I would have reveled in coming to Colorado and making sweet, long, fulfilling, passionate love to you for days once Liz, but you would not have me. And now you have lost me. Sigh.

That aside…you know how I really feel about you, Liz, from our personal communications. I am so glad you are back. You are my friend, and I will be watching out for you to make sure you don’t get down or discouraged again.

Una

18

All right, I’ll start walking right this instant! Just give me three months to get there…