A Plea For Tolerance and Understanding

The BBQ Pit
1

In the past few days, I have seen more than enough hate to last me for a lifetime. And…I saw it HERE, on the SDMB. There have been times when I approached feeling the way I do now, but never have I seen so much vitriol expressed in such a short amount of time in situations that should have been dealt with amicably. With, perhaps, lively discussion of differing opinions. Perhaps with a bit of good natured sniping. Perhaps with some sarcasm, some snide remarks.

I am NOT talking about people who violate human decency. I am NOT talking about people who are violating human rights. I am NOT talking about racists, abusers, rapists, murderers, child molesters, people who abuse their public office, or any other heinous crimes…nor am I talking about those who advocate such things. We get them once in awhile, and as far as I am concerned, you have my blessing to be as impolite as you wish.

I am talking about people who don’t agree with people, and get ugly about it.

I know that some of you might feel that the BBQ pit isn’t the place to put this thread. I disagree. The hate was spewed here, and this is where the thread belongs.

Now, I know that this the forum for venting, for disagreements, for discussion of said venting and disagreement. I have no quarrel with that.

But I appeal to you…is it necessary, during dissention, to call people names, to give full vent to your feelings and opinions in anger…in a way that you would almost CERTAINLY never do “in the same room?” I mean, isn’t it time that we all realize that this board is, after all, supposed to be “FIGHTING IGNORANCE?” And isn’t treating others who have dissenting opinions with respect and tolerance part of fighting ignorance?

I am NOT asking you all to agree. I am asking all of you who are moved to anger to the point that you no longer consider anyone else’s feelings to THINK ABOUT IT BEFORE YOU POST YOUR ANGER INSTEAD OF YOUR HEART AND MIND! That’s all.

I know I am not going to be popular, here. I don’t really care. Well, actuallly I do care…I love this community, and I would be very sad to leave it. But I am heartsick enough about what has happened here in the past week that if you all want to run me out of town on a rail I will find a way to deal with it…I wouldn’t LIKE it, but I would still feel that MAYBE I made some people think…and maybe that made a difference.

I would like to know…whatever happened to common courtesy, regardless whether you agree with someone or not?

That’s all, really…

2

I agree. I assume that there’s folks here who don’t like me. I know there’s folks here that aren’t my favorites, either. I’d like to think that I am mostly polite to all. I know I’m not perfect about it, but the level of venom expressed lately bothered me quite a bit, especially since bunches of it seemed to come from left field.

I will try, Scotti, that’s all I can do.

3

Ah, hell - there’s no where NEAR enough blood on the floor yet!

Come on, folks -let’s get some decent “veins-in-my-teeth” action going!

[sub]all this “kumbaya” crap makes me sick - fuckin’ sick[/sub]

4

Alrighty, where do I sign?

5

Sing it, Sister! :smiley: (Yer popular with me, Scotti! You hug like nobody’s biz, and I like hugs!)

6

Um…perhaps a hint as to which particular threads/posts/posters you might be referring to??

In other words, ‘what’, ‘which’ or ‘who’ are you seeking love and understanding from?

7

Some specifics might be in order.

I just assumed that you’re going to find some jackasses on ANY board, and made a point of not taking it too seriously or personally.

I mean, come on. Show me ANY group of more than fifty people, and within one hour, I will show you the asshole within. It’s part of the group dynamic of the human race, folks… not that this excuses bad behavior or trolling or whatever, but it is GOING to happen…

8

This is what happens when you get too many big egos in one place.

9

There are always people pissing on each other in the Pit. Could you be be a bit more specific as to what thread and what specific speech you construed as hate speech?

10

Mea culpa, Scotti, though maybe not in the threads you are talking about.

If an argument is strong enough, the person making the argument won’t have to be snide, make insinuations or call people names. We can still be direct without mutiliating someone else’s ego.

11

Hey…ego is not a dirty word…bwahahahahaaaaaa

(Apologies to ‘Skyhooks’ and especially Shirley Strachan…may his dear warped 70’s soul rest in peace)

12

Yeah…the board really had become quite sad lately.

It’s pretty shitty. Can’t we all just get along?

13

So Scotti, which threads/posts/wankers are you referring to? You’ve gotta give us a clue here, otherwise we’re left in the dark about what you’re ranting about…not that you’re *ranting * as such, but it would give the rest of us a bit of an insight into your gripe.

Hey…have a grouse day anyway!! :smiley:

14

You know, if you didn’t notice, and you visit the pit a lot, you probably aren’t going to think I have a valid point anyway.

But here are the two that “shoved me over the edge.”

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=154897

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=154476

Now, I am not “espousing” any opinions pro or con in these threads…other than the one I did early in the **lee[//b] thread, which was in response to the actual subject at hand.

I am not saying that anyone is right or wrong. I am just saying that these threads degenerated into hate-fests…and there was no need for anyone to start spewing venom.

Maybe you think that this happens all the time, but it seems to me that this is a new low, in a short amount of time.

Of course, if this is the “norm” here, and I just missed it, then I guess I am sorry for ALL of us. In terms of the state of the world, that is.

Sorry I didn’t elucidate further in the OP…it seemed obvious to me. Silly me.

15

I’m surprised you singled out the UnBan Satan thread, Scotti. I thought that thread has gone remarkably well, with very little hate going on at all. A bit of snippiness here and there, but overall, not bad.

16

I’m with you, SCOTTI. Maybe it’s because I’ve stepped away from here for a few days and am seeing things with a “non-Board” eye (for once), but I’ve been stunned by the stuff I’ve read in those two threads, as well as the thread about SATAN possibly coming back.

Maybe it’s just human nature: We start swinging our flamethrowers around with all the perceived justice in the world, and in what we think is our own defense, and maybe we forget what we sound like, and the damage we can do to other people with our words. And people don’t forget it. They don’t shrug off receiving the beating the way we can shrug off having administered it.

I read what some good, established posters spat out in those threads, and I know – know – that they are better than that. But I have to be honest enough to admit that I’ve posted just as viciously in the past, and I hope to God I’m better than that, too. I think of people reading some of the things I’d said, people reading with a clear eye and unemotional heart. I think about people I respect maybe being appalled by what they’re reading, and disappointed in me for posting it. I think about the things I’ve posted in anger, and I am ashamed.

So I would like to right here, right now, formally apologize to anyone whom I may have offended in the past, on any of the multiple times I’ve lost my temper and attempted to rip someone a new one. I’m sincerely sorry for it, and if I could take back the things I have said that have hurt anyone here, I would do it.

That’s all.

17

For what it’s worth, I wish I hadn’t lost my temper in the lee thread. I still find the bullying that went on extremely offensive, and I hope some of those who joined in will see the error of their ways, but my reaction did no good.

18

Congrats, grendel72.

That’s an excellent response. :slight_smile:

19

I posted to the Unban Satan thread just before it got ugly. Actually, you could say that it was my post and DDG’s that set Joe_Cool off, after which things got ugly. Hindsight’s 20/20, but I think I would have been better off having kept my mouth shut. Though I know that someone would have said what I did, I wish I hadn’t said a word. I feel like I started the mess, even though I know I didn’t.

The outcomes of all those threads were inevitable. The issues was simply too hot to not explode. There are topics like those every so often, but I think the sad truth is is that that ugliness we saw in those threads is always here. It just waits for an outlet. And it can’t ever go away or stay away for very long, because what fuels it is everywhere. It’s all over every forum and it spills out to the other MBs, over IMs, and LJ. I’ve read comments here and off the board that absolutely floored me with their harshness, and more than anything else, their immaturity. Not even high school was this bad.

I agree with Wang-Ka that it’s part of the group dynamic, that things like this are bound to happen when a group this size gets together and speaks freely. Still, it’s saddening, and disappointing.

20

This is a good thread, Scotti. Thanks for opening it.