…it doesn’t mean I’m “mental” or that any opinions contrary to yours are a product of my condition.
I haven’t Pitted my wife for a while but this is starting to get on my nerves. And as I will take advantage of the calming effects of my medication to let stuff build up until I get loud and grumpy, fulfilling her assumptions that I am a foul-tempered mental case, and as she does not brook disagreement, I should probably let off steam someplace besides at home.
I have my own knowledge, beliefs and opinions. Sometimes they don’t jibe with yours. I will usually say my mantra and take some cleansing breaths but there come times when I just have to tell you that you are WRONG! And when I do it is NOT (always) because I forgot to take my meds.
It is insulting and belittling for you to dismiss my very real feelings because I am mentally ill. For Christ’s sake, it’s just depression. I am not schizophrenic or psychotic. I do not hallucinate. It is a treatable condition and I am treating it effectively. Try giving me some credit sometime.
You are a smart and knowledgeable person but you have a strong sense of self-worth and can be insensitive to the feelings of others. Please try to accept that there are times when even I can be right. If you would allow yourself to listen to me there will be fewer times when I feel that the only way I will be heard is if I’m louder than you.
Dropzone, I wholeheartedly agree with you.
It is completely unfair to de-legitimize your very real, very legitimate emotions that exist for very real observable reasons. It is thoroughly infuriating to have well-founded and justifiable feelings dismissed as simply a “pesky byproduct of an emotional disorder.”
You are totally justified in feeling incensed at the fact that your are being “pooh-poohed” just because your sound and well-grounded opinions aren’t exactly what someone else wants to hear.
There’s little worse than being dismissed or condescended to - like no one wants to take your genuine emotions seriously. You do have valid emotions. Your SO needs to remember that too.
Best wishes and warm fuzzy thoughts (is that allowed in the Pit?)
Point out to her that she is doing the equivalent of accusations of her anger or frustration being based on whether or not her menstrual cycle is pulling into the driveway.
People fight dirty and without care and it is never right.
Oh man, what a bummer, dropzone. I sympathize - my best friend is on antidepressants, and it took her and the rest of her family nearly a year before they sorted out what was depression and what was a justifiable bad feeling about something.
I’ll admit that I’m quick to think “jeeze louise, take your meds” or “PMS much?” when someone flies off the handle for reasons I can’t readily see, but your post is a good reminder of why that assumption is never fair.
Take care.
As I just celebrated my anniversary on Prozac I should think we’d’ve had that sorted out by now.
That is, my FIFTH anniversary.
We-e-e-ll… don’t be so sure. After all, my husband and I have been together for 16 years, married for 15, and both of us are clinically sound of mind and body… and we still get say and do stupid and hurtful things to one another on occasion. Mostly it’s out of laziness, really - neither of us is up to the thinking involved in having a sensible, well-thought out discussion of differences, so we resort to something idiotic like, “Oh yeah?? Well, at least I didn’t (insert some stupid-ass action from five years ago that was too trivial to even be an issue then).”
But you’re a reasonable man, and she’s a reasonable woman. Let this blow down for a bit, then tell her she was out of line when you’re both calm. I likeThylacine’s PMS comparison.
Being normally nonconfrontational, I ain’t likely to do THAT! 
I think your OP offers it’s own sollution, you say that you let things build up when you are feeling at your calmest. Maybe it is whan you are at your calmest that you should be trying to fix things. I’ve been on anti depressants for yonks, and am sure that the times they are working best are the times to use to sort things out.