Just because it looks easy doesn't mean it is

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

I have wanted to start my first thread, but never really knew what I would say. Well, after today’s ordeal, I decided this shall be my very first…

On my way home from work I decided to stop at Walgreen’s to pick up some things. I like to browse, slowly take my time, and make sure I see everything, just in case.

I go to the razor and creamy stuff isle, and see that they have the “do it yourself” waxing kits. I start thinking to myself, “How hard could it be?” Now I’ve always gone to the salon to get it done, and it looked easy enough. Heat the wax, spread it on, put on the stripy thing, smooth down, and pull. shrugs not a big deal. The hard part is deciding which one to buy.

There is the “No Heat Wax” and the “Microwave Heat Wax” there are self warming “Wax Strips” There is also the “Nair” products…but I cant use those…NO NO NO!! Well I can if I want to look like I drug my legs across the carpet and I am now suffering from a severe case of rug burn!! So we quickly “MOVE AWAY FROM THE HAIR REMOVING CREAM!!”

Ok so I buy the micro-heat wax kit, and some shaving lotion (just in case) and head home. I read the directions thoroughly, and begin to start my hopefully new ritual. (doing it myself saves us some money as the wedding is getting closer)

Ok now I got the wax all heated, but not too heated. Just enough to spread it (like it says) I give it a little stir, and start to spread it on my leg. There should have been a spot in the directions that tells you to work at the speed of light, because this shit cools as soon as you lift the wooden Popsicle stick out of the container. WTH?! Directions said to spread it evenly yet thinly. Umm ya ok, how? I now have one big cooling blob of purple wax(lavender scented)sitting on my leg. No matter how hard I scrape the wax with that wooden stick, it ain’t spreading! I grab a waxing cloth (1 of 20 that come in the kit)and decide to try to just do this anyway.

Laying the cloth over the wax, I gently rub it 2-3 times in the direction the hair grows, just like how I spread the wax. Pull the skin tight, and “YANK THAT SUCKER THE OPPOSITE DIRECTION!” First one down, not too bad. There is a little residual shit left on my leg but that can be cleaned off with warm water (as told by the directions)
I look at the container of wax…its completely cool. SHIT! Back to the micro to heat it up some more.

Ok back in the bathroom to do the rest of my leg. M (my daughter) comes in and asks what’s doing? I tell her, and then she asks “Umm…you supposed to leave that purple stuff on your skin like that??” sighs No, I tell her, it will come off when I take a shower. I attempt to spread the now thin and melted wax from the container…NOPE. Crap’s cooled off just as quick as before. Once again I have a huge blob on my leg. WTF!! Why is this doing this to me?? It doesn’t do this at the salon. M looks at me confused kind of tilts her head to the side and ask “Hey mom, is it supposed to be all thick like that, and like be a big glob?” irritation No I tell her, this shit is cooling so fast you have to be “Speedy Gonzales” to get it on there while its hot.

Next thing I know I feel something hot on my forearm. I look at it and there is some purple wax. Now I feel some heat on my upper thigh. Look down and there’s more purple wax. How the hell did this happen? Ok so lets review…Not only do I have streaks of purple goo on my legs where the strips didn’t get it, now its on my forearm, my right upper thigh, all over my hands,(because I’m a jackass and trying to wipe it off that way)in my sleeves, under my shorts…oh and lets not forget my face and apparently my hair. MY HAIR!? How the hell did I get this in my hair? Good Lord!! Get me in the shower before I wax myself bald!

So in the shower I go. Now remember the directions say that it will wash off easily with warm water. THEY LIED!! I was in that shower for almost 45 minutes as hot as I could stand it, scrubbing with a spongy thingy, and I still have purple bits on my legs and arm. I’m pretty sure there is still some in my hair, I’m too afraid to check, for fear of pulling out a patch of hair.

Blah. So I go get Crunchy Frog from work…first question. “What is that purple gunk on your legs? Have you been painting?” :roll: After I told him what had happened, he was laughing so hard he had to pull the car over. After he calmed down, he patted my leg all sweet like and said "You can go back to the salon to have it done from now on. Just because its available in a store and says you can do it at home, doesn’t mean you should. There are some things that should be left to the pro’s! " :eek:

Pfft…
I would like to take this time to apologize for any grammatical errors in my post!!

2

I don’t mean to brag, but I think this is one of the reasons I am glad I am a guy. Hairyness/maleness seem to go hand in hand, so nobody bats an eyelash when they see the fuzz on my tummy :smiley:

3

Even attempting to self-wax is brave. I salute you.

I’ve only done it once, and a friend did it for me. I don’t think I’ll ever wax again.

4

Thank you! You know in all honesty, I was only trying to be good, and save money.

The mess that was made due to my “thrifty thinking” has now cost me as much as it would have to just go get it done like I normally do. Apparently I hadn’t noticed that there are small traces of this purple wax from my bathroom, thru the living room and to the front door. :eek:

I have no clue how it got so far out of control.

5

Good thing this isn’t a comic-book universe; that level of weirdness means you’d be sprouting some super-powers right about now, having to do with wax, heat, or the removal of body hair (perhaps all three!).

6

Ok. Now I can’t even begin to think of anything to say in return. I’m still laughing, all while picturing this new found super hero, flying (I could have a cape right?) around and helping those that are follicley challenged.

I wonder if I could climb walls like Spider Man…I mean I would be all sticky due to the wax…

7

Nair has a wax that comes in a roll on bottle. It makes self waxing possible. I can’t do it from the jar either.

If you do decide to attemp the home waxing again, try the Nair.

8

I had noticed the roll-on type, but thought “Now how effective can that be?” Guess I should have just walked away from all of it!
With the crap that I went thru yesterday, I doubt…no I know I will never attempt to “Do it myself”. After thinking about it, my dogs were hovering around me at the time too, maybe I should check them to make sure there is no purple goo on them.

9

I had horrible luck with the self-waxer stuff, but in my case, the wax stuck to my leg and would not come off. Fortunately it was just the one patch, but still. I had to send my husband to the store to buy some petroleum jelly, as the product claimed that would remove the wax. Nope, that didn’t work. I ended up just running a lot of warm water over my leg and using a blunt table knife to scrape it off bit by bit. :eek:

I’ve used the Nair roll-on waxer (really a sugar mix, no wax in it that I know of), and that works great. You’ll have to make a few trips to re-microwave it, but it doesn’t cool super-quickly.

10

:eek: Thankfully I didn’t have to go thru that much, I did however have to take another shower after I got home, this time only lasting about 25 min. There are still one or two very tiny spots left. I just decided , after rubbing my skin raw, “Aww…screw it!” As long as its not sticky anymore, hopefully after another shower, it will come all the way off.

11

I can’t remember who it was who tried to wax at home and wound up waxing her nether regions together, but it was one of the funniest posts I’ve ever read in my life.

Considering how much worse things could have turned out, I’d say you did pretty well.

12

I will always be in awe of auntie em. I distinctly remember her description of self-sugaring (a Brazilian job, no less), involving yoga practice and a full-length mirror. :eek:

:rummage, rummage: :search, search:

Dammit, this is taking a while … space, no space, underscore, capitals …

Maybe it wasn’t auntie em …

Whatever!

SOMEBODY on this board gives themselves a Brazilian wax/sugaring job by laying on the floor in front of a full-length mirror. Now THAT deserves a :o and a :eek: and an OW , if you ask me.

13

I once tried self-waxing. Never again - I leave my bikini area to the professionals now. When I tried waxing myself, I found myself giving out little shrieks of shock and pain as I removed the strips. Then I found out that I’d gotten it crooked, had taken too much off, plus my blood vessels burst when I ripped the strips off, so I had these big ugly bruises on the insides of my thighs and along the edge of the front of my undies. It was the most hideous thing I’ve ever seen.

14

My daughter waxes her facial hair, legs, and arms. Sometimes even her armpits. She’s had it done professionally a few times, but she doesn’t like paying out that much money. She’s actually pretty good at it.

We might treat her to a few sessions at the local laser hair removal clinic for her birthday.

15

I haven’t tried waxing but about 6 or 7 years ago, I started plucking my leg hair. Yup, with tweezers. And yup, it takes a long time…at first. After the first year or two, most of the hair stopped growing back. Now it only takes a couple of minutes every now and then to take care of the last stubborn few. It beats shaving or waxing in the long run!

16

Think twice

17

Oh my… I tried waxing at home once. Here’s a tip for you: the bikini area is NOT the best area to attempt on your first time. Yeah, some of the hair came off. So did quite a bit of skin. I don’t know what’s worse: the initial pain, the lingering pain, the ugly scabbing on my holy-of-holies, the unpleasant itchy healing process, or simply knowing that it was all self-inflicted.

I just tossed everything (except for the one cloth strip that had hair and epidermis clinging to it) back into the box and took it back to the store. I told the lady at the returns counter that my husband had bought it and asked me to wax his back. Then we both laughed at his silliness and she gave me all my money back. I hope she didn’t notice my careful walking on the way out.

18

Oh my… I tried waxing at home once. Here’s a tip for you: the bikini area is NOT the best area to attempt on your first time. Yeah, some of the hair came off. So did quite a bit of skin. I don’t know what’s worse: the initial pain, the lingering pain, the ugly scabbing on my holy-of-holies, the unpleasant itchy healing process, or simply knowing that it was all self-inflicted.

I just tossed everything (except for the one cloth strip that had hair and epidermis clinging to it) back into the box and took it back to the store. I told the lady at the returns counter that my husband had bought it and asked me to wax his back. Then we both laughed at his silliness and she gave me all my money back. I hope she didn’t notice my careful walking on the way out.

19

:eek:

This is why I leave that area alone. If the hair really bothered me, I could just trim it down with scissors, but the concept of ripping hair out of loose/sensitive skin is rather mortifying!

20

Sheesh, whatta buncha wimps!

You know those little hair removal strips made by Sally Hansen? Piece of cake. You rub the strip between your hands to warm it, peel it apart (now you’ve got two strips) and apply them - sticky side down, please - to whatever hair you want removed. Hold the skin below the strip, and pull from the bottom. Er, quickly. Easy, painless, no bother. There’s a little bottle of oil (excuse me, AZULENE(tm thingie)) in the box too - pour some of that onto a cotton ball and it gets any remaining sticky off you.

Oh, OK. I’ll admit it. The first time I bikini waxed with the strips, I got the strips onto the “area” and then sat there for ten minutes thinking, “Shoot. Now I’ve got to rip those off. That’s gonna hurt. Maybe I will just leave the strips there…” But I did work up the courage eventually, and I was pleasantly surprised. Just a bit of redness afterward that faded within the hour.