Also just for the record, I am not the [person] who did what JohnT decided I did, anyway.
No problem.
And it wasn’t you, it was some other… doper.
FWIW, I also got what you were doing. Eh, it was over the top, but it didn’t bother me none.
Well, thank you too, then. I didn’t think I was accomplishing anything noble either, merely illustrating my utter contempt for rapists and those who would take advantage of a child by using the act I described as something so horrific that we could all agree on its criminality, but apparently I went too far in my description. I will of course refrain from doing so in the future, simply because I enjoy posting here, so if I were instructed never to use the letter “x” again on pain of banishment, I would strive to avoid that terrible letter. In this case, the entire subject of sexual violation seems to be what got me into such hot water (I’m not 100% sure that I haven’t exposed myself to further danger in this post, merely by alluding to sexual violations as circumspectly as I’ve done–oh, well, YOLO!) so the lesson I’m taking to heart is to avoid discussing that subject (outside of this thread) again in the future. No big loss–I imagine there are other examples I could have given of obvious gross criminality, and I will choose crimes, when I need to give examples in the future, from other sections of the law that don’t raise such sensitive concerns.
As you, yourself, pointed out, you could have worded the same general idea more delicately, and not in a way that was offensive to other posters. And I think you would have made your point more effectively, because people would have focused more on what you were trying to convey, and less on “oh my god, that’s a sick sexual fantasy! why is he SAYING that?” You made it about you, and not about the topic.
Probably. But a friendly word would have achieved the same end as all this strum-und-drang. To keep describing it as a “sick sexual fantasy” and implying that it’s MY s.s.f. rather than as the worst and most obvious crime that needed to be prosecuted ASAP, that no decent person could possibly witness and dismiss as harmless, strikes me as amazingly wrong-headed. “Hey, Roger, could you be less graphic? Thanks” would have gotten my attention just as well, and gotten an apology out of me to boot.
If it matters, I get the whole Modest Proposal vibe you were going for. But it was extremely wrongheaded given how many people are survivors of childhood sexual abuse. I can only believe that with a few minutes of asking yourself Should I really post this?, you would have decided not to.
When people describe things in graphic detail, it is often because they, themselves, care about those graphic details. Not always, but often enough that that’s what I expect when I run into a post like that.
And posting stuff like that is being a jerk to the other posters.
Not my forum, not my warning. But please don’t post graphic descriptions of rape and child abuse in the forums I moderate. That doesn’t mean you can’t mention their existence, when it’s relevant to do so. But please do so in a way that doesn’t force the reader to visualize the act.
Right, Jonathan Swift didn’t actually get into recipes or methods of meat grading.
Sorry, this is too close to an invitation to get myself in trouble again needlessly. This was part of my problem in teaching literature on the college level, which I gave up doing as soon as my students began complaining that I hadn’t warned them of the mother-son incest theme in HAMLET, which seems to have triggered a visceral response in incest survivors. Safer just to stay away from such issues altogether (and I was fortunate, in that I was able to teach less fraught subjects than literature or film, where these things cropped up more and more frequently in my last few years as a professor. Very glad to be out of that line of work, since even in teaching writing or history I found that some people’s tender sensibilities were invariably offended.) Again, fortunately, I don’t need to write about sexual violence, in any way, shape, or form, on the SDMB, and (barring some memory lapse in the future) I prefer simply to refrain altogether from engaging in discussion of such issues. I’m sure you won’t view this as any great loss. My respect for the moderation around here is diminished, as is my respect for those posters who complained, but I’m even surer that is a source of pleasure for those who chose to view my posts as the writings of a fantasist delighting in sexual violence instead of as someone denouncing such acts as criminal of the first order
If your willingness to apologize for your behavior depends on how people act after the behavior, it’s not a meaningful apology, and it’s better you didn’t offer it.
My big takeaway is that you don’t understand what you did wrong and are only willing to behave out of a sense of petulant personal grievance. It may be worth your while to figure out why folks are actually objecting to your post.
Given the callousness of your most recent offering, I retract that bit because I no longer believe that it’s true.
I really hope that you’ll keep to your promise to refrain from engaging in such discussions.
I’m not.
You’re not offering it? If that’s what you mean, well, obviously. If not, huh?
You’re giving me “A Modest Proposal” as an example of good taste and restraint?
This is a matter of taste, and clearly I offended some people’s sensibilities around here. (And just as clearly, didn’t offend others.) But the absolutism of some of the responses, the scolding, the finger-wagging, the tut-tutting seems to me not helpful to an intelligent discussion. I’ve been warned. I will shut up on this topic for the foreseeable future. I’ve been intimidated into moderating my words in ways I don’t personally approve of. You’ve won. What more do you want? For me to say that I was wrong, wrong, wrong, and you were right, right, right, and I have no response other than beg your forgiveness? You might have to wait a while for that.
A little bit of modest self-reflection.
You can wait on that, too.
A little less Polonious, a little more Yorick.
He didn’t say he expected it. Just that it would be nice if you did.
Again: obviously.