Not Pit-worthy but here we go…
In my office there’s a cow-orker who decided it would cute and Christmasy to wear sleigh bells as a necklace for the holidays.
Guess what?
YOU’RE DRIVING UP THE FREAKING WALL WITH YOUR JING-JANG-JINGLING!!
What the hell were you thinking? (I already know the answer is you weren’t)
If I survive the next 3 weeks without jamming those bells up your chimney without care, it’ll truly be a Christmas miracle!
I’m not really a Grinch, but c’mon!
In one place where I worked, a coworker had his cell phone set to ring “Jingle Bells.” This started in late October. At some point in February, I couldn’t take it anymore. I told him that the next time his cell phone rang “Jingle Bells,” I was going to toss it and him out the nearest window, so help me God.
I found out later that he loves Christmas so much he uses that as his ringtone year-round.
That’s worth a pointed discussion with them. If they don’t get the message, go buy a large handbell and follow them around ringing it. Claim that you are just practicing your part in the upcoming production of “Carol of the Bells”.
Classic!
There was a kid in my driver’s ed class who listened to Xmas music year round-we were allowed to bring tapes to our driving sessions and our teacher said he always brought Christmas music. This was in September.
I just wanted to say how much I enjoyed the thread title and OP. Very nice.
Is this where I can complain about two of our local radio stations that have gone Christmas music 24/7? It’s not like we have so much to choose from to start with. {Heavy sigh.}
This works better if you’re wearing a belly shirt and standing much too close to the person.
Agreed. Crossed over to the best turns-of-phrase thread.
I’m honored!
I sent a complaint to my local “lite” music station (for NY/NJ, that would be 106.7 Lite FM), which began playing 24/7 Christmas music BEFORE Thanksgiving this year. I haven’t heard back from them, not even an automated reply. I need to buy an mp3 player, because I’m boycotting them forever. How many different versions of “Jingle Bell Rock” can one person stand?
I think someone needs to petition the American Psychiatric Association to include the excessive adoration of this increasingly hideous holiday as a pathology in the DSM-V whenever it comes out.
I’ve been driven from one of my regular haunts because of the round-the-clock playing of Christmas music. The only Christmas song I can stand is Black Flag’s “Nervous Breakdown”, which is not, all sentient beings would have to agree, traditionally considered a Christmas carol.
Ghod, when will this efckin holiday be over?
Stranger
This is the year that I have discovered that one can only variate on a theme for so long.
I have just been subjected to a 2 hours wait at the orthodontist for my son. Some Xmas CD was on-LOUDLY. This CD has selections of modern artists covering traditional Xmas songs (not carols so much) and also embellishing them with new musical interpretation and pacing etc.
It was god awful–and I like a bit of Xmas music. Why do female singers seem to think that wailing is the same as singing and why are they all attracted to Little Drummer Boy as a song?
Purumpapumpum this, sister!
This Christmas season is my first as a retail drone since I started working (11 years ago). I work for a certain Orange home improvement store. I love my job. Truly. But, I’m going to maim the person who controls the music. I love Christmas music. I CAN listen to it year round - once a day at most, more during the proper season. But, I have been listening to it for 45 hours a week since Black Friday. I could even handle it if it was decent Christmas music. But no. I get Jessica Friggen Simpson breathing “erotically” about snowflakes.
A. Jessica Simpson CAN’T FRIGGEN SING!!!
B. Heavy breathing is the stuff of prank phone calls. NOT Christmas classics.
C. It’s not necessary to play the damn song once an hour from 6 am to 10 pm.
Even Jessica Simpson would be tolerable (for a bit). But, our daily music program goes something like this:
“Sleigh bells ring…l”
“An associate from Flooring please call x 108. Flooring, 108”
“bells ring, are you listen…”
" Attention all shoppers, we are currently having a sale on ALL power tools…"
“are you listenin…”
“Will an associate from each and every department please report to the returns desk to restock merchandise”
Every damn time the announcements start, the music loops back about 3 seconds. It takes about 30 minutes to get through one rendition of Jingle Bells.
Even more fun is calling another HD store. They have the same music loop we do. But, there’s a time delay of about 1 second. So, I call another store because one of my lovely customer asks me to. This is what I hear:
(In my left ear) “bells ring, are you listening?”
(In my right ear) “Sleigh bells ring, are you listening?”
At the same friggen time! I had no warning about this. I generally avoid all stores at this time of year so I had forgotten how bad this Christmas mania has gotten. I’ve only been with the company for 1 month so I came in just in time for the madness to start.
For the last 4 years, I’ve been annoyed about coworkers wearing bell earings, or flashing musical pins, or flashing lights on cubicle walls. Now, I think it’d take it all back - just to be rid of the Christmas “music”.
Just secretly replace the normal CDs with this. Extra points if you put “Merry Fucking Christmas” on repeat.
I need more handbell, baby!
Oh my god, that would be so cool. Even better - I have a Dennis Leary Christmas CD somewhere around here. Unfortunately, due to the fact that all the stores seem to be playing the exact same thing at the same time, I’d say it’s controlled from Corporate in Atlanta. I could be wrong though. I know our store managers control the music the rest of the year. This led to the full day of all Country music blasting over the radio. I think it was because some bigshot from the Department of Energy was in our store. He must be a fan.
Is anyone else having flashbacks of the movie Wild At Heart and “Jingle Dell”? Just me? Alright then.
I am also quickly reaching my capacity of christmas cheer in the office, both figuratively and literally, with all the candy people have been bringing in. The Bells would be too far, though. Violence would erupt.
Give her the one two three pitch.
The wind up.
“I have something you need to know about.”
The pitch.
“Did you know the boss has noticed your bell and he’s been asking why you keep leaving your desk.”
Home run.
“Did you know we can hear you tinkling in the bathroom.”
Hee Hee Hee
Seriously, use it on her. It’s too funny not to do it to her.
Have you considering memorizing the words for E. A. Poe’s The Bells, and muttering whenever she goes by? I’m sure a few renditions of the “The ring ding dinging of the bells. Bells. Bells!” should freak her out enough to get her to stop.
Update: after some less than subtle comments by other co-workers (“If you don’t take those bells off, I’m going to get a hammer!”), she ditched the bells.
Praise Og in the highest!