I’m Jewish, but I’ve always liked Christmas. I like the snow, and the lights, and the general air about the time. It just has a pleasant feel to it. I used to really like the music especially.
But, not anymore.
I work in an office where the secretaries are permitted to keep radios at their desks. About two weeks ago two local radio stations changed their format to 24/7 Christmas tunes, and for the past 10 days I’ve heard nothing but fucking Christmas music 8 fucking hours a day. I’ve heard every Christmas song every written and some of the dozens of times. I’m going fucking insane over here. It’s simply too much.
Next year they’ll start before thanksgiving, and all stations will play it. And they’ll have “Happiness Patrols” which will come around and make sure you’re happy. Or else…
Oh, good heavens, my head would explode. Can you get earphones of your own to block it out?
Dopers may recall that in my town a couple of years back, the Mayor rigged up a PA system to pipe Xmas music all over town for the entire month of December. Really bad music, too: the Osmonds, Andy Williams, Burl Ives . . . It took a great deal of bitching and griping from me to get a stop put to that. I am now officially my town’s Cranky Old Lady.
FWIW, and I’m not sure it’s much, I used to work for a radio station that started playing Christmas music well before Thanksgiving. “Annoyance with Christmas music” takes on new meaning when your job actually requires you to play and listen to it. :rolleyes:
My advice – If at all possible, keep headphones on, or pull a Milton: Bring in your own radio, and tell people, “I was told…I could listen to my…music…at a reasonable volume…”
NYC or that Jersey hellhole you sleep in? 'Cause I can’t imagine Bloomberg doing that. “This year it will be 'The Dredl Song” and Adam Sandler’s ‘Hannukah Song’ over and over again for eight straight days!"
One reason Christmas music has gotten so much more annoying is that, for one reason or another, the sacred tunes are now getting less airplay in favor of the secular tunes. Secular carols tend to have lyrics that are either banal (Silver Bells, Chestnuts Roasting) or just plain tacky (Rudolph & Frosty), and the music is generally nothing to write home about (aside from the Carol of the Bells).
There are, of course tacky sacred carols (The Little Drummer Boy is pretty obnoxious), and there are banal lyrics (I Wonder as I Wander? I Wander as I Wonder?), but for the most part the traditional sacred carols are a cut above the carols that celebrate gift giving (and especially gift-buying).
I’ve had Jewish friends tell me that Santa is rapidly becoming more offensive to them than Jesus, if only because of his ubiquity at this time of year.
My only defense is to have learned all of the John Valby (aka Dr. Dirty), Tom Lehrer, and Weird Al versions of these tunes, and play the alternate lyrics in my head.
In the office there’s a guy named Melvin
he pretends that I am Murphy Brown
he asks “Are you ready?” I say “Whoa man!”
let’s wait until the wife is out of town
Okay, I take that back, some of the stuff out there is REALLY bad and annoying. Why does everyone have to do their “take” on the classics? For once I’d like to see someone’s “take” be to sing it straight. That’d be fucking original.
I feel your pain cainxinth. The week of Thanksgiving, a local radio station switched over to 24/7 Christmas crap. It’s staying this way till New Year’s. It really irked me, because up until the format change the station played all 80s and 90s stuff and I would listen to it all the time.
The station was programmed into the car stereo, so every now and then, flipping through the stations, I’ll forget that one is programmed to all Christmas crap and instead of hearing some expected Billy Idol or Adam Ant (yeah, I love all that 80s crap) I’m blindsided by John Denver and the Muppets singing “The 12 Days of Christmas”.
If it weren’t for occassionally stumbling across Bob and Doug MacKenzie’s version of “12 Days of Christmas” or Adam Sandler’s “Hannukah Song” that station would be off the stereo programming (and the fact that after New Year’s I get to listen to my 80s stuff again – everybody Wang Chung tonight!)
My beloved mrs jjimm is a Christmas freak, and she has a double CD of much loved Christmas hits. That she plays. Most mornings. All these songs are driving me to near insanity, but the one that really gets my goat is this version of Winter Wonderland:
What the thundering fuck is a “santa clown”? Why would a lyricist alter the original words (“Parson Brown”) to this monstrous image? I haven’t seen many Santa clown dolls on sale down the local department stores.
Jeez, imagine waking up in the middle of the night on Christmas Eve to find Santa creeping around the house in clown makeup like John Wayne Gacey? I’d shit my pants right there and then.
Those are the lyrics for “Walkin’ 'Round in Women’s Underwear” by Bob Rivers of Twisted Radio. So far as I know none of the aritists you mentioned are related to Bob.
The worst is “The Twelve Days of Christmas.” By the time you get to about… the second day, you just wish Christmas never existed, and you want to kill whoever wrote that song with a spork. The only song more boring and obnoxious is Monty Python’s “I Like Traffic Lights.” By the way, if you hate that song as much as I do, go find “The Twelve Days After Christmas” It’s a great parody.
I looked around everywhere for a giant inflatable rabbi to put on my lawn, so I don’t alienate my Conservative and Orthodox Jewish neighbors here in 44124. No such luck.
Even at the mall in Beachwood, they’re playing Christmas music. Goy vey … a little klezmer would be nice. ;j
once upon a time I was a small business owner, you wouldnt believe how many people thanked me for not playing xmas music…at all…ever.
one hag called me a grinch and was really offended when I politly told her about our no xmas toons policy, so I told her to get the fuck out of my store. god I loved that part. the power to tell off customers who really need to be told off. not that she was really that bad I was just still grumpy cause I coulndt figure out how to get dear antlers to stick to the damn dogs head without drilling holes in it.
I feel for ya, in all seriousness I would look at a set of noise canceling head phones and a good mp3 player. I find that if it allows me to remain sane at work its usually worth spending some cash on it.
'Cause I can’t imagine Bloomberg doing that. “This year it will be 'The Dredl Song” and Adam Sandler’s ‘Hannukah Song’ over and over again for eight straight days!"