Here we go with the goddam Christmas carols every frickin’ place I go. They’re on the radio, they’re in the stores, you can’t get away from them.
I swear it gets worse every year.
I find it funny that you double-posted your annual rant. Does this mean you get to skip next year?
Nope, I think there’s plenty enough bile for sucky Xmas “music” to warrant at least two Pit threads and then some…
Today at the Fred Meyer gas station they had some horrible old school crooner generic “holiday” music goin’ on at about 550db and I almost killed someone–seriously, after 30 seconds I was homicidal! I can’t imagine what it must do to the poor bastards who work there, out in the cold pumping gas with that gawdawful noise blasting all day–I’m waiting for the mass murder news report, I swear.
There oughta be a law…
Haven’t we already cracked this chestnut? Or perhaps roasted it over an open fire?
I’m doing my part at the store I work for and bringing in CDs of just regular music so we don’t have to keep the radio on all day. Every damn station, it’s on. Every station it’s *not * on is a little too… “aggressive” for our store full of pregnant women and small children. Too much Christmas music and I think they would be really snarlink. I would have to start handing out free tasers with every purchase. Or maybe I’d just be giving free tases with every purchase… “Here’s your receipt *bzzt” Have a nice day." Free tase whenever a Jackson 5 Christmas song comes on, whoever’s closest. Damn right.
I want a taser for Christmas.
I wasn’t aware of a double-posting. But big props to SamClem for swatting the eeevil duplicate so quickly. Fast on the draw there, Sam. 
Planning on fleshing that out a little, Clothahump? For a Pit rant, it’s a bit, errr, understated.
Come in, I know you have it in ya!
Come on, that is. :smack:
Chipmunks roasting on an open fire,
Jackals ripping at your nose,
You’ll tell Carol “You’re a skunk and a liar,
And you smell like old camel toes.”
Everybody knows some jerkoff under mistletoe
Will help to make the party blight.
Tiny sots with their red eyes aglow
Will find the pavement hard tonight.
They know that Santa’s been delayed
He’s overloaded, overworked, and underpaid,
And every homie boy is gonna try
To pot a reindeer with his piece as they fly by.
And so I’m offering this special deal:
“Buy now! Just $19.92!”
You know you’ve been had, many times, many ways,
Merry merchants screw you.
Ahhhhh… that holiday spirit…
It’s sad they play the bad songs on the air. In my humble opinion, the vast majority of good Christmas carols are the overtly religious ones, which won’t get played on the radio. “Once in Royal David’s City,” “O Holy Night,” “O Come O Come Emmanuel,” and others like them are much, much better than the 20th playing of “Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree” per day.
Chester’s nuts roasting on an open fire,
Jack Daniel’s nipping at your nose…
I get Christmas music when I go home for the holidays. Mother likes to serve wine and cheese on Christmas Eve, and have the family sit around the tree listening to carrols. Warm and fuzzy little family tradition thing. It’s enough to last the year.
She won’t let me set off the sprinklers on any carrollers that wander down the street…
"Jewelry is the gift to give,
'cause it’s a gift that’ll live and live,
So buy the gift you know can’t fail
at BC Clark’s…Anniversary Sale!
Most sales are after Christmas
but Clark’s is just before
Most everything is marked way down–
savings you can’t ignore
Aaaat
Oklahoma’s oldest jeweler
Since 1892!
The Christmas wish of BC Clark’s
is to serve you this year too–"
sniff sometimes I miss Oklahoma.
(I wonder if they still play this one.)
If I may add a fuck you within a fuck you…
Every year I post a link to my own Christmas music, and every year the thread drops like a stone. It’s almost as if any and all Xmas music is a pariah. Well, mine ain’t!
I understand that most people avoid Christmas music because it is twee, insipid, and lame. These are things I consciously tried to avoid in my songs. They were designed to offend. So crank these up to 11 and annoy the shit out of your Jingle Bells-lovin’ “Case of the Mondays” coworkers.
Enjoy!
I’d like to make a deal with those that select the Christmas music for radio play, in shopping malls, and the like- I’m willing to listen to carols for the entire month of December, starting at 12:01 a.m. on December 1, as long as I never ever again in my life have to hear that goddamn *Grandma Got * fucking Run Over By A goddamnmotherfuckingsonofacuntingbastardass Reindeer.
Please.
That song makes me want to go postal on somebody.
Is this the dis Christmas thread?..if so let me chime in…
I HATE christmas and every superficial, condescending, hypocritical aspect of it. Yes I play the game with my mother and my children, mostly out of respect for mom, but if truth be told I could do without it and any other government sponsored religious holiday.
tsfr
I loathe Christmas music in general, but my wife loves it. Mixed marriages can be hard. The current compromise is: she gets to play whatever she wants while I’m at work (she works from home), and after Dec. 15th, she can play it when I’m there, but only selected CDs. None of the schmaltzy crap. I will only tolerate stuff by Steeleye Span, Blackmore’s Night, Sarah McLaughlin, etc. This saves us a huge argument that causes much hard feelings and that I will lose in the end anyway.
That’s one of the most polite "fuck you"s I’ve ever seen - nice. 
Can we make a distinction between “Christmas Music” and “Christmas Carols”? Although I’m an atheist, I find the latter, if sung well, uplifting, pleasant pieces of music (in the main). The former is mostly terrible, either schmaltzy 1940s stuff (The Christmas Song, White Christmas etc.) or devoid of any musical merit whatsoever (Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree, Slade’s Merry Xmas, to name but two).
Having said that, I enjoy some Christmas music in small doses. But having the same tunes in shop after shop, when one is stressed enough anyway, is really irritating. Especially as nearly all British shops seem to own exactly the same compilation.
Ah, for December 26 when we can wander the stores without hearing crappy Christmas music. Compared to some holiday music, Song Sung Blue by Neil Diamond qualifies as great listening. There is a small segment of Christmas music that is very good indeed and a joy to listen to. But to fill time in the stores and on radio, we have to hear the 98% of it that’s utter crap. If the stores could play generic stuff most of the time and throw in only the holiday stuff that’s good, that would be great. But noooooooooo, we’ve got to hear crap like Rocking Around The Christmas Tree.
Of all the posters who would join in the Evul Librul War On Christmas, Clothahump would never have crossed my mind.
Thanks, though one would think that that would at least earn me an “Atta boy” or a “Way to go” or at least a “Stop pissing on Keith Moon already, you talentless hack.”