How can you possibly dither when Dopers in the New Jersey area aren’t even allowed to blather!?
Get some perspective, man!
That guy probably doesn’t have Internet access, so he’s probably not going to be posting much.
“Having just finished my doctoral dissertation on the life cycle of the moebian flatworm, particularly in regards to their use in 17th century fiber arts, and, given the cites here, here, here and here, and based on the findings of the International Society of Flatworm Researchers, it’s apparent that they weren’t actually ever used as fuel for the Saturn V rockets. Perhaps you could provide a cite for your opinion?”
There are two kinds of people in the world: those who divide the people of the world into two groups, and those who don’t.
I appreciate the answers, everybody! Ender, Ethelrist stole my answer: The guy who does have it the worst, by an extension of Anselm’s Ontological Argument, clearly does not have Internet access, since if he did, it would be possible for someone to have all his problems plus lack of Internet access, and therefore be worse off than he.
There are 10 kinds of people in the world: those who understand binary notation, and those who don’t! 
I had a feeling that thread title was going to haunt me. As usual, Polycarp has said all I need to say, but I will add one thing: you owe me an e-mail or a phone call, o Brother in Spirit!
:Sigh!: How many more days until the election starts? :rolleyes:
CJ
(Beside, he’s Armenian, not Russian!)
Ptttttttttttttt!!! 
Now that’s funny!
Oh, and Poly, solid OP. I think I agree entirely. Or do I? Actually, I was a little confused over the point of #1. But that’s just me.
OK, now I’m really wondering about you. You see, I heard that exact same joke made by HJay’s best friend this past Monday, and, to add to the coincidence, you and he share the same first name.
CJ
The Master on Le Petomane and Moses (or the JEPD gang) on Balaam and his talking ass (particularly beginning at Nm 22:28).
Me: “That’s the third most improbable event in the history of the Universe!”
CJ: “What were the first two?”
Me: “Probably just coincidence.”
My brother had a theory for a long time: no matter how bad your problems, things could be worse. You could have those same problems, AND he could be kicking you in the head. We called it his “kicking you in the head” theory.
Then we read about an unfortunate lifeguard who drank a bottle of water in the lifeguard fridge, not noticing the label on the bottle that read, “DO NOT DRINK–JELLYFISH TENTACLES!!!” And we realized that if you drank jellyfish tentacles, nothing, not even being kicked in the head, could make the situation any worse. We call it our “drinking jellyfish tentacles” theory.
So, unless you’ve just drunk jellyfish tentacles, quit yer bitchin.
Daniel
But, if you just drank jellyfish tentacles, and you still have the presence of mind to bitch about the person who cut you off in traffic, go for it. You’ve earned it.
George Carlin has a similar routine, but things are made worse by adding a headache.
Bah, that’s just a ripoff of George Carlin’s “plus-a-headache” formula. No matter how bad things are for you, they can always be just a little bit worse if you also have a headache.
“His wife left him for his mother, his kids got run over by a cement mixer, and he has AIDS. Plus, he has a headache.”
I would cry simupost, but 5que beat me by eight minutes. I just knew I should have finished posting before I got back to work!
Could be worse.
Yeah, I could have a headache.
And… it could be raining.