I have this neighbor who packs their yard with terrifying kitsch for every conceivable holiday. They must spend a couple grand every year just on decorating the house. So of course they have several of these monstrosities proudly displayed. For Halloween, they had an 8-foot Frankenstein’s monster on their roof. How they got it up there I do not know, but a few days before Halloween there was a massive windstorm here and the thing came loose from its moorings and started blowing down the street. An 8-foot-tall Frankenstein’s monster sailing down the street. It’s a miracle there wasn’t a huge accident caused by drivers trying to get out of the thing’s flight path.
I don’t know what eventually happened to Frankie, but right now they have a huge inflatable turkey on the porch and red and yellow lights strung all over the house.
I want the singing ass wiggling Santa Claus I saw at Fred’s Discount Store. He sings 15 different Christmas favorites! And ass wiggles while doing it!
But wait! There’s more!
He comes with a microphone. You plug the microphone into Santa (it didn’t say where and I didn’t look) and he’ll ass wiggle while you sing!
It don’t get no better than that!
I’ve seen in store available now, giant inflatable Snoopy’s dog house, decorated for Christmas as he does in the Christmas special but Snoopy himself is sitting on the dog house in his WWI flyers get up, which he does not do in the Chirstmas special.
Why this is for sale in the Party City in may area of Brooklyn where most people live in apartments and don’t have any sort of yard to put a yard ornament in is really puzzling.
“As God as my witness, I thought turkeys could fly.”
I’m waiting to see if those damn white wireframe lightup reindeer will still populate the neighborhood this year. If they do, I swear I’m going to sneak around nights and instigate some displays of sweet reindeer lovin’. Juvenile and overdone, I know. I hate those things.
Heh, my neighbor had one of those inflatable “ghost leaping out from behind pumpkins” this halloween. I don’t know what whoever designed that thing was thinking, but the two little round jack o’ lanterns combined with a big, long ghost just looks a little too much like a penis and testicles.
I pass by a house everyday on the way to work that has a bunch of bric-a-brac stuff they left up after a kid’s birthday party. Guess they decided to add to it for Halloween. Not sure what they’ve done for Christmas, I’ve been trying to tune it out lately.
But the centerpiece of this lawn nightmare is an eight-foot inflatable Incredible Hulk. I guess it looked cool and menacing to the kid when they first put it up. But it just looks sad as the legs have deflated and look withered. Poor Paraplegic Hulk, I wish I could find a wheelchair to scale to help him out. All that rage and nowhere to go smash!
