Katie Couric: Yes, you're a mom, but stop being a morality whore!

The BBQ Pit
1

I’ve come lately to absolutely loathe Katie Couric. Okay, she has milked the cheerleader/girl next door thing for far too long, and now it’s just a sad parody. That’s fine. I don’t care. It’s broadcast TV in a youth-obsessed culture.

But stop fucking being the deluded uberconservative mom! Yes, teenagers have sex with one another. Guess what, you did it at that age too (if you didn’t, I can assure you plenty of others were). Yes, you can end up pregnant. Yes, you can end up with VD. But yes, you can feel good about your body image and your place in the high school social heirarchy. You can have sex with just ONE PERSON, even when you’re a teen, and have it mean something. It’s not an instant gateway to turning tricks in the alley for crack. A blowjob won’t get you pregnant (this was very nearly implied on her prime time special). Gay kids could possibly turn out socially well adjusted if they weren’t seen as unholy aberrations. All the snide implications and holier-than-thou comments during the prime time special (which was really just a big fucking wank-job for the abstinence movement), the smug feeling that you’ve somehow let parents have a peek of their childrens’ world so they can rule with a tighter goddamned iron fist, it just makes the world a less compassionate place with stupidly uptight parents denying their children the chance to, and this is absofuckinglutely revolutionary: MAKE THEIR OWN MISTAKES, THEN LEARN FROM THEM!

One of the throwaway segments on the Today show this morning: PG-13 movies are the new R! They’re the devil, and Hollywood is intentionally selling the souls of our children to make a quick buck! They show people having sex (yeah, it’s nothing more than some second-base touching over the clothing, maybe a bare back, but that’s just as bad as seeing anal penetration to impressionable young minds that could NEVER find worse on their own computers), and blood is spilled in violence! All the fine work you did on your bullshit primetime special is going to be undermined by Vin Diesel’s rippling biceps and J-Lo’s luscious ass!

Katie, and the idiot parents who believe that the more tightly they try to dictate their childrens’ lives, the better adults they will be: STOP. Please. You’re just creating 25 year old infants. One of the funniest things on earth is to tail a college freshman for their first two weeks at school. Watch as they can’t figure out how to do their own laundry (does the fabric softener go in the washer with detergent? What about the dryer sheet, is that in the dryer?), revel in their bacchanalia as they get drunk every night, often to the point of passing out in their own vomit. Cringe as they drunkenly paw one another, then start going at it in a dorm house living room. Because they were never allowed to do ANYTHING at home. Let’s make up for lost time and truly fuck ourselves up.

(wow, that really did digress a bit. I just see Katie Couric as a big media head enabling this shit. I know if she didn’t spout it, somebody else will. So fuck her.)

2

Well, at least her new obsession with teen sex has distracted her from her incessant crusade against colon cancer. Cancer screening is a good thing, but enough is enough.

3

Shortly after college I became a bank teller, at the branch right across from my alma mater. Every year in early September there would be a student rush – we’d open several hundred new accounts every day, mostly for students. One year I took a little tumble and broke my wrist. I couldn’t very well be a teller in my condition, so I ended up sitting a a table near the door, making new customers fill out all the paperwork in advance. This was to ease the load on CSRs and make things run faster.

In all cases I would more or less ignore the parents (of parent-child new-account pairs) and ask the child what sort of account he wanted. There were generally two responses:

Type A: The parent would look proudly on the child, who would awkwardly navigate through the uncertain seas of savings vs checking and statements vs passbooks. With only a little guidance, the child would usually settle on a good choice.

Type B: The slack-jawed kid would barely get out the word “uh…” when the overbearing parent would step in and say “Junior wants a passbook savings account, end of discussion. Junior, go wait in the car. I’ll take care of this.”

It was easy to tell who was a Type A or B kid several weeks later. Type A kids would more or less look or act the same, and have built up a modest but respectable little nest egg. Type B kids would come in stoned or drunk, with neon hair and multiple face piercings, and constantly have a negative bank balance.

Not that there’s anything wrong with that, but it was clear that these Type B kids were unaccustomed to so much sudden freedom of choice. The choices they made were clearly the first choices they had ever made.

4

No offense, Mostly Dead, but there is a healthy medium between having teenage sex and total dependant/total out of control…

5

No offense, Mostly Dead, but there is a healthy medium between having random drunken sex with whomever and total dependant/total out of control.

And I’m not sure that medium is specifically having teenage sex. Of course, I don’t watch Katie Couric, so please ignore my comments because they have little-to-no relevance. Sorry.

6

So if they have sex as teenagers, they’ll know what to do with the fabric softener?

Is this some kind of S&M thing?

7

Well, a real man knows what the washing machine wants.

8

Hey, I did laundry as a teenager, and I had sex all through grade 11. Yay me!

9

Hey, I taught a couple of guys how to do laundry and then taught them how to ‘do laundry’. :slight_smile:

10

Didn’t your teachers object that you were disrupting class?

11

I personally have been nauseated by Katie Couric’s Pollyanna act since she started, but it seems to be the norm, as far as I can remember, for morning news show hosts (and morning news show hosts with prime time specials). If she was actually upset about sex and/or violence in movies, it’s strange that I’ve never seen her call any of the stars pitching their sexual and/or violent product on her show.

And, FWIW, I’m all for the abstinence movement. It seems to me the people involved in it are exactly the people that do the gene pool a favor by opting out of it.

12

Ah yes, springtime approaches. A time for lovers, for baseball, for Nature to revlea her beauty again, and a time for shrill old people to bitch and whine about “kids today.”

Old people will ALWAYS complain about kids being “out of control.” They will ALWAYS pretend that today’s kids are the first teenagers in human history to have sex. They will ALWAYS forget how shitty their own generation was. Adults who actually know the truth - that today’s kids are as good as any batch we’ve ever had - are few and far in between.

Couric is just continuing a long and proud tradition of stupidity. Maybe this stuff is a bit more prevalent in the USA today, there being a bit of a culture of fear going on, but this song is an oldie.

13

Can I really be the only one around who doesn’t find Jennifer Lopez’ ass anything special? “Lucious?” Feh.

14

I’d be with you . . . except that abstinence-only sex ed seems to have the opposite of the desired effect.

15

For the love of all that is good and holy, please, OG, no more on-screen colonoscopies!

Can’t stand Couric. Don’t care for the whole lot of them, really (although, from my vague recollection and only occasional viewing, Lundon seemed to have some class) but Couric is the worst of the worst of the worst. And that schmuck Lauer? What a putz. Whenever I am tempted to waste money on a televisor, these are the things that encourage me to drink instead.

I’d pay to see her in the Thunderdome with Kathie Lee, though. “Two broads enter; one broad leaves. Two broads enter; one broad leaves.”

Actually, I’d pay to see Tina Turner whip both of their asses.

Okay, I’d pay to see Tina Turner kick anyone’s ass.

I might even pay to have Tina kick…aw, never mind. TMI.

Stranger

16

No, no you’re not. I was dating a lady for a while who had a magnificent ass. She couldn’t believe I liked it because “asses like J-Lo’s are the fashion now.”

17

Well, JLo’s ass is very round and squeezable. After years of no-assed models and actresses, it’s nice to see someone being admired for her curvy proportions.

I like to pretend my ass looks like Jlo’s, but I’m sure it pales in comparison since I don’t work out as much as she does. But still, what man doesn’t like a woman who can actually fill out a pair of jeans?

I’m not sure what this has to do with Katie Couric, so I’ll slide on outta here.

18

Well, it’s a refreshing break from discussing Tina Turner’s colonoscopy.

19

First this thread had me picturing John Candy pounding the washing machine in Uncle Buck, then I’m picturing John Cleese having sex with his wife in front of his class in, um, a Monty Python movie.

Cudos, people. Keep up the good work.

(A “morality whore?” Nice turn of phrase.)

20

Except no one in the abstinence movent is abstinent. It’s run by freaked-out parents who believe it’s OK for them to have sex because they’re adults and it’s full of teenagers who are having sex despite what they profess. (Danielle, you’re the president of the abstinence club! Well I wasn’t planning on running for reelection.)

–Cliffy