See this broad swath of asphalt? This is the bike path. See that area of green and growing things? That is not the bike path.
Yes, I saw you. I’m not sure what got into you–did you want to shave a millisecond off of your commute time by cutting across a planted area? Did you want to make extra sure to use the off-roading capabilities of the bike Mommy bought you when you started college?
Grass is delicate at this time of year. Do you know what happens when you bike through not-really-established-yet grass? It turns your track into a festering muddy rut, is what. In fact, if you take this certain turn up here, you’ll see lots of these ugly muddy ruts where the grass doesn’t grow because it gets brutally squished down every time.
And you’ll say, “I was planning on picnicking here come June! What kind of jerkus maximus would do this?” Maybe you’ll gesture expansively to make your point.
And if there is any justice in the world, a passing 747 will jettison a mirror that will land in your outstretched hand.
Here’s a little tip from an ex-lawn care professional…
If you have any sod farms near you, ask someone there if you can cart off some of their scraps. In the spring, dig out the old stuff that the biscuithead destroyed with his bike. Patch it up with the scraps. Instant lawn!
*And with that stunning debut, Josephus Ho began his rise to everlasting fame at the SDMB, and held out hope that even the least among us could someday become…
J.H., you took the time to register and post just to try to admonish someone on their choice of what bothers them? Must be nice to have this much time on your hands…
Well, if it bothers you that much, you could go to your local lawn and garden centre and pick up a couple of those wire fences that stick into the ground. I imagine it doesn’t have to be much, just enough to make them not cut through the lawn.
Of course, someone might move them, and then you’d be constantly moving them back into position.
I’ll be the first to admit that this is one of life’s minor annoyances.
It’s just that I love frolicking on grass, and scampering amongst the green is made more difficult when it’s decorated with muddy ruts. Certainly dampens the visual aesthetics of my picnicking.
Unfortunately I don’t own the property in question (it’s university land). Maybe I’ll take matters into my own hands and become a sort of Masked Vigilante Lawn Avenger.