“Stay alert, trust no one and keep your laser handy.”
Where did this saying originate?
It sounds like a movie quote, but my googling skills failed me today.
You should Google up an old role playing game, recently re-released, called Paranoia. There you will find your answer.
I love the Computer!
Well, if you google “keep your laser handy” you’ll find references to a RPG named Paranoia, published by Mongoose back in the 80’s. Another familiar quote from the game is “The computer is your friend.”
Greatest RPG ever. Hokey storyline, clumsy combat rules (if you even knew them!)…completely addictive.
Mongoose is the current publisher. The 80’s publisher was West End Games.
I saw reference to the ‘paranoia’ game on my google results, but I thought that maybe they had in turn taken it from somewhere else. Has anyone played it? Is it any good?
If you don’t spoil it for yourself (the referee really should be the only one who knows the plot and the rules - totally unique), it’s really, really cool.
<ahem>
We play it sometimes and have a blast. Haven’t done in a while. I’m our Hygiene Officer. I keep us clean in thought, word, and deed! (I hand out fines for grammar violations - got yelled at by the GM by not doing it enough. I didn’t want to spend all game yelling about grammar, but evidently that’s what he had in mind when he gave me that task. 
)
I haven’t checked out the Mongoose Stuff in great detail – got the newest rulebook, but don’t have the time for RPG’ing any more – but the Second Edition from West End Games was perfect (Friend Computer says so! Praise the Computer!). At least, until they started getting off the deep end with the “post-Crash Alpha Complex” stuff…
(For the Troubleshooters out there, my homebrewed unpublished second-edition Paranoia adventure module can be found here.)
Back when I played Paranoia, our sole combat rule was “GM decides what the result is based on what he thinks is funniest.” Worked out pretty well.
Absolutely. That’s the best way to play it. Of course, rolling the dice behind your screen, and tut-tutting mournfully lends an air of versilimitude for the doubting Thom-O-SES out there …
Well, years later, I now know that’s what our GM was doing most of the time. But there was a feeling of real danger…OK, scratch that. Real uncertainty…when you didn’t really have any idea what was going to happen when you pointed your red-orange laser at the red-suited dude and shot. It’s a far cry from D&D, where I know down to a percentage point my chances of hitting the hill giant with my sword, even as a player.
You know, of course, that the rules are classified Ultraviolet, and for a low-level Red Troubleshooter to even look at them would be treason punishable by immediate execution, right? Your benevolent GM was merely looking out for you there. 
But that’s what made Paranoia more fun than D&D IMO – the first rule is Have Fun, not Fuss Over the Stupid Arcane Rules.
Paranoia is fun.
Other games are not fun.
The Computer says so.
Play Paranoia. 
sweating and twitching
The computer is my FRIEND!
Gosh, I miss those days!
Happiness is mandatory. Those who are not happy will be used as reactor shielding.
Well, duh. The books are printed on white paper, aren’t they? The fact that some of them have red covers only means that it is OK for the troubleshooters to know that they exist.
I’m sorry, Citizen, but that information is not available at your security clearance.
Why are you asking about information that is not available at your security clearance, Citizen? Are you a Commie Mutant Traitor? When did you quit your secret society? Are you sure you aren’t a loyal citizen, Citizen Born-R-LAT-2?
Go visit HPD & Mind Control’s nearest Maximum Fun Education Center. They’ll set you straight. Or turn you over to Internal Security; maybe your next clone will do better.
Serve The Computer. The Computer is your friend.
Scub-Y-BEN-4
This Flash animation gives you a nice introduction to Paranoia:
It’s a line from the Duran Duran song “Rio.”
It was awesomely funny before funny games were popular.
“Excuse me, citizen… is there a Tank-Bot on our requisition form?”