What, nobody here has seen Young Frankenstein?! “Psst. Give him an extra dollar.”
On the breast vs balls issue regarding pain, from practical experience I can tell you that this is not comparable for girls vs guys. Groin for guys is FAR more painful than breasts for women.
I’ve been in martial arts classes for several years, male and female together. Breast strikes do hurt for women, but not in a disabling insta-crippling way. The women in class get hit routinely in the breasts with hard kicks and punches and simply learn to adjust and cope with the pain after a while. This is never the case with guys. Groin hits, even light ones, hurt bad and hurt always. A few guys that possess VERY high pain tolerances are able to resist a fetal curl for maybe 30 seconds after a solid shot, but always eventually succumb to the horrible horrible throbbing grinding pain…
I once slipped on a patch of ice, did a perfect legsplit, fell on my tailbone and broke it, then rolled forward and smacked my crotch on the ice. According to my ex, my reaction was exactly the same as a guy getting hit in the same area.
If anything can hurt a woman more than that, I don’t want to know about it.
Actually, getting hit in the elbow is a pretty ripe slice of hell. It’s not just the pain-it’s that jangling, little tingly feeling that shoots up your arm, and you get dizzy and nauseous. The funny bone must have some nerves around it, or something…because that is the sickest, most digusting feeling.
Menstrual cramps, clitoris hits, and ovaries don’t lend themselves well to comparison, because (so far as I know), there’s not been anyone who’s suffered one of those injuries and also a severe blow to the testicles. I can’t speak from personal experience for either (thank God!), but how does a kick or punch to the kidneys compare to the testicles?
Guinistasia, I’ll agree with you that it’s unpleasent to be hit in the funny bone (yes, there is, indeed, a major nerve there), but if that’s women’s idea of a “pretty ripe slice of hell”, then there really is nothing that comes close to the pain men feel after a groin shot. Funny bone: “Oh, dang. Ow.” Minor impact to groin (as from sitting down wrong, say): “OwowOWOwOwww…” Deliberate kick to groin, I don’t even wan to think about it.
I’ll have you know that the amount of laughter this provoked not only woke up my mother, sleeping in the next room, but also caused her to worry quite vocally about the amount of breathing I was managing to do. I fell off my damn chair!
Also, the funny bone is not really a bone at all but, (you guessed it) a nerve. As my physiology class gets more advanced I’ll tell you which one, unless Qadgop or one of the other docs beats me to it. Which they will.
As for a shot to the boys? I’ve never wanted to die as much. It simply paralyses me. Cant move, cant breathe, cant think. Dont touch me when I’m like this, as it only seems to reinforce the pain already shooting through my entire hip area. Just leave me alone for as much time as I need. Please!
Personally, I have experience mild, slightly throbbing pain from squeezing my testicles against something a little too hard. Of course, I’ve also experienced much worse pain from accidentally dropping things on my fingers, and not a whole lot harder than I’ve accidentally squeezed my testicles. And even worse from the foot spasms that I get from time to time. And then there were the times my fingers got sliced by sharp lids (corned beef cans are the worst, and who invented that moronic design, anyway?). Or how about canker sores? Not debilitating, yeah, but the sting like hell and mind take an ETERNITY to heal.
Okay, I freely admit that I’m not a Marine. So sue me. 
Perhaps the worst pain that I’ve ever suffered (that didn’t involve a medical procedure) happend at a turnstile in Washington. I’d inserted the ticket, but a notice came up saying “change due”. (I didn’t realize that you only have to look for change if there’s a number below the message). People started shouting at me, I got kinda confused, and in my haste one of the turnstile bars slammed me full-bore on…my thigh. That’s right, my thigh, that rock-solid bone surrounded by inches of muscle and fat, and I swear I was in agony for the better part of the hour.
So anyway, if there’s something that’s actually worse than that, I’d rather not know. And I prefer to stay away from anyone psychotic enough to attack me, thank you.
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Mnementh the funny bone is not really a bone at all but, (you guessed it) a nerve. As my physiology class gets more advanced I’ll tell you which one, unless Qadgop or one of the other docs beats me to it. Which they will. QUOTE]
Ulnar nerve.
Qadgop - Ok, I know it’s common practice to work injections on each other in nursing, MA or other medical classes.
But to have your students learn to fit a diaphragm by having them practice on you seems to strike me as something a little odd…
Is this horribly common? An instructor that teaches Pelvic or Rectal exams the same way?
I’d have to say being beheaded, or being drawn and quartered
Men can’t find the clitoris when women beg em to look for it…how is someone supposed to kick it? 
But I remember that my ex-girlfriend always complained when I placed pressure on her pubic bone, just as ** andygirl ** described. They do sell athletic supporters for women for a reason!!
Having your nipple stepped on by a toddler in tennis shoes.
Ow.
Funny bone=humerus
I have to hand it to the guys----even during childbirth, I never felt like what it looks like they feel like with a direct hit to the testicles.
This isn’t specific to women, but a pinched nerve can be pretty damn painful. (At least that’s what I think it is.) I only mention this because my reaction strikes me as sort of similar to the reaction of a guy getting hit in the testicles. If I move my arm in the wrong way I get this intense, blazing pain that radiates down my arm and back and up my neck. I can even feel it in my teeth. I’m utterly incapacitated and unable to move or even breath. Hurts too much to even imagine moving enough to protect it. And it makes me instantly nauseous. It’s not at the level getting hit in the funnybone. This feels orders of magnitude stronger. Cramps don’t even come close.
rivulus
I’m guessing there’s some variablity between people. My lover (male) isn’t terribly bothered by groin hits. I’ve hit him fairly hard in the balls and it hurts no worse than hitting elsewhere.
I, on the other hand, experience absolutely excruciating, mind-blowing, vomit-inducing, crippling pain when my breasts are squeezed hard. Definitely equal to reactions I’ve seen on men when their balls are injured.
TMI alert! I’ve experienced equally bad pain from an accidental, surprise, vigorous thrust to the… er… wrong orifice. Which does not get used often or without coaxing. This, I imagine, would hurt men and women equally and we could use it as a calibration device! Again, finding volunteers would be entertaining.
Not only no, but HELL no. What happens when you get a cavity? I think that this increases my already high fear of dentists about ten fold.
::imagines drill whirring, and thinks of his nuts::
Please don’t ever put this idea in my head again.
Abscessed tooth. Holy YOWL! Does that ever fucking HURT!
It wakes you up at night, and you’re lying on the floor of the bathroom at 3 am in the middle of a heat wave, sobbing and begging God to take you NOW!
…and even some women, too…
Cramps do affect women in varying degrees of pain. I am one of the ones who’s lucky enough to have pain in the WORST way every month. Whenever I hit that special time of the month, I’m curled up in the fetal position, clutching my abdomen and crying for it to go away. Cramps cannot be compared to getting kicked in the cajones because cramps occur every month and keep up for hours at a time - sometimes even two days if you’re truly blessed. I’m sure that getting a good blow to the balls hurts like hell. They hurt in different ways though. So everyone deserves sympathy.
However, I remember a thread where one Doper made reference to getting one’s nipples ripped off with a fork. Even thinking about that sends me off clutching my chest and moaning in pain.
All this talk about pain has left me weak and whimpering.
Yes, got to agree with andygirl - I walked into a lamp post once, at full speed as I wasn’t watching where I was going, and got hit there. I remember very clearly holding onto the lamp post and sliding downwards whilst trying to remember how to breathe…and the idiot passer-by who said “You won’t do that again in a hurry, will you?”.
It’s the only time in my life I have felt truly homicidal…and fortunately, I lacked the strength to do anything about it (I’m sure it would have come under justifiable homicide…or at least diminished responsibility though. ;))
Wow, such a wealth of information about male and female bodies!! OUCHIE! From the standpoint of one performing regular GYN exams, I’ll say that when a good exam is done of the ovaries, it always elicits a pain reaction; but not one of the caliber of the testicular nature. Ovaries ARE gonads (forgive me if someone said that). An ovarian cyst can cause pain so severe people are in the ER being worked up for appendicitis, etc., but when the cyst ruptures the pain suddenly resolves.
Men certainly have a poor design for contact sports. : )