So I was at a friend’s apartment earlier today, and spent a little time with her 3 year old son.
He looked at me and said, “Wow, your belly is big!”
I told him that I was pregnant, and there was a baby in there.
His eyes got real big, and he shouted, “You swallowed a baby?!”
My friend and I burst out laughing. We couldn’t help it. (She did explain to him that the baby grows in there and doesn’t have to be swallowed once she caught her breath.)
Do you have any examples of this sort of thing?
Husband and I take his 7 year old brother to the museum. He hasn’t been to one before. (The family is nominally Christian, for clarification)
Me: “Check out this Egyptian mummy! It is really old.”
Him: “Older than God?”
Me: “Well, yeah, kinda actually.’”
Osiris is NOT amused.
On the train home from work one night, a mother and her little kid (about 4 yrs old) got on and even got a SEAT…opposite a lady of ample proportions, but by no means obese.
Little kid gets into a deep and meaningful conversation pretty much straight away:
“Hi, I’m Emma, do you have a baby in your tummy?”
(Lady was quite taken aback by the forthrightness etc)
“Um, er, no Emma, I’m not pregnant”.
“Well, where did the baby go then…?”
By this stage half the train carriage was in complete uproar, and the lady herself cracked up too with laughter.
Maybe you had to be there. 
I started a thread about this one, because it struck me so funny:
The little Torqueling, age 2 1/2, was pulling a pillow off the top of the wooden chest in our bedroom. There was also a lot of folded laundry on the chest, and of course pulling out this pillow was causing a lot of it to fall on the floor.
“Uh oh,” I said, “You’re making a big mess! Momma’s not gonna be happy!”
She looked up. “What?” So I repeated what I’d just said. “Okay.” Then she finished pulling out the pillow and trotted merrily out to the living room, where my wife was.
"Momma," she said, "I made a big mess! Are you happy?"
I think we laughed for about five straight minutes. That’s toddler logic for you. On the plus side, apparently I’m raising a natural-born skeptic, since she had to run off and confirm what I’d just told her…
It’s funny you should mention that, because my three-year old is convinced that I swallowed a baby, too. He thinks it must have been really small like a pill and I took it with a glass of water. Being a pretty generous kid, I keep having to fend off his attempts to stuff teddy bears down my throat so the baby can play with them. He’s pretty wily, waiting until I’m almost asleep, too. I’ve learned to protect my head and neck, even while unconscious.
He also used to think that rain was a result of an anteater at the zoo closing the door. Apparently he was at the zoo with my husband one day and the anteater they were watching mosied into its den and out of sight. Right after that, the skies opened up, resulting in a torrential downpour. So, every time it rains, our son insists that the anteater must have closed the door again.
Slightly older kid here – my niece was about ten when we had this phone conversation. I had just moved into a studio apartment, and she was asking me to descibe it to her.
Her: Where’s the kitchen?
Me: It’s to the right as you walk in the front door.
Her: Where’s the bathroom?
Me: Straight ahead as you walk through the front door.
Her: Where’s the living room?
Me: It’s to the left as you walk through the front door.
Her: Where’s your TV?
Me: It’s at the foot of my bed.
Her: You have a TV in your bedroom?
Me: No, my bed is in the living room.
Her: That’s so cool! When I grow up I want to live in a little apartment!
Uhoh - Momma laughed, so… that means she is happy! Toddler logic deduces: make messes!
This? Is awesome.
I missed this unfortunately, but the story made me laugh…
My two year old nephew’s birthday party was this past saturday. His other aunt got him an 18 inch walking robot as a present. I guess it has flashing light and makes noise?
Anyway, after they got it out of the box, they turned it on and let it start walking. Nephew stared at the robot for a good minute, and then threw his security blanket over it and ran off.
Conquered!
Sometimes they can mimic you without meaning to. When she was four I asked my daughter why her plastic lamb was headfirst in the mashed potatoes. “Cause and effect. I put it there.”
When my daughter was about 3 she had a bad habit of running in the house. I heard the sound of her little feet (hah! they sound like a herd of elephants at that age) racing from the kitchen down the hallway at my mom’s house and, from the living room, barked out, “Walk!”
Without missing a beat she shot back, “Where?”
I had no answer. My mother and I both cracked up.
We have a girl, 3, and a boy, 4.
The other day she comes downstairs crying. “My brother hit me!”
My wife is concerned. “He did?”
Daughter: “Yes! I was just punching him in the head and he HIT me!”
My 3 year old was sitting next to me at dinner the other night, blinking his eyes really hard. He said, “I’ve got maggots in my eyes!” “Uh, Maggots?” “Yeah, I’ve got maggots in my eyes and I can make things disappear!” “Ooooooh, magic!”
I guess we all have a little maggots in our eyes.
I was busy shopping one day and was by myself in an aisle when a 1 year-old wandered in from around the corner. She would pick up an item an exclaim “Nah-dit-dat-don!” put it back on the shelf, take a couple steps, pick up another, exclaim “Nah-dit-dat-don!” put it back on the shelf.
She did this repeatedly with about 5 items and for the life of me I couldn’t figure out what she was trying to say. She was in the middle of inspecting a sixth item when her mother rounded the corner, saw what she was holding, and told her child “Now-put-that-down!”
When my daughter was three we were visiting friends with a one year old baby. We had a present for the baby, some Duplo blocks. After the baby was playing the the blocks for a while, my daughter walked up and grabbed the blocks out of her hand. The baby started to howl.
I took my daughter aside and asked why she took the blocks from the baby. She replied in a matter of fact tone, “I wanted to make her cry”.
I laughed at this one. I can just see that, too.
At least she’s honest, right?
I love that! It made me laugh so hard!!
We had some friends and their children over for dinner one night. The 4 year old boy was a gem – one of those kids who makes me actually like them. While we were dining, he stared at me for a while, then asked the question I get a lot – “Are you a girl or a boy?” Since I knew his parents wouldn’t mind, and I wanted to see how his brain was churning, I asked him what he thought.
He told me I was a boy. I informed him that he wasn’t correct, I’m a girl, but why did he think I’m a boy? He pointed out that JustThinkin’ (also a girl) was drinking root beer, and his mom was drinking root beer… His dad was drinking beer, and so was I, so I MUST be a boy!
One of my very favorite logic examples ever.
A conversation my oldest son was having with his Mom who was then pregnant with my youngest son.
Son: [can’t stop watching Mom as she eats her dinner]
Mom: “What’s wrong Alex?”
Son: “Is food falling on top of baby’s head?”