A tattoo shop I frequent has a sign that reads:
Vetbridge, on that theme, I’ve seen a photo of a sign that boasts:
OtakuLoki, continuing the theme, my office manager often comments:
I wish I had signs like that for my yard a few years back. Living on a military base, I used to like to use my rare days off to sit in my backyard, grill some steaks and ribs, have a few brewskis and chill out. Except a few doors down there was a family with about 2 kids. The 2 kids were apparently friends with every child in the northern hemisphere. And they preferred to run and play in MY yard. Now, this wasn’t annoying only to me (my other neighbors weren’t too thrilled as the screaming hellions had run through their yards to get to mine) but my wife wasn’t pleased either. she often complained that she couldn’t hear anything but the screaming children while in the house.
When i tried to be nice and politely ask the mother of the 2 kids if she would kindly not let them stampede through my yard she got a bit huffy. (suggesting that i get a fence!) I told her I’d just use a bear traps instead.
The neighborhood kids were then told to stay out of my yard.
That’s because there is no logic there. The choice to have kids comes with the responsibility to teach them how to behave in public. Parents can claim they have the right to raise their kids however they want to , but when you go out into a public place the public gets to respond and comment freely about how your parenting style is affecting their lives. Stores and restaurants are private property and if we feel that kids are behaving inappropriately toward our merchandise or our other customers we have every right to ask them politely to control their kids or to even insist they get out.
It depends on the situation I suppose. As a society we interact and we do intrude on each others lives in lots of ways. Working in a store you expect to deal with kids of various ages. I’ve seen lots of parents with lots of various styles. In a world with lots of time constraints parents are often more focused on the errand at hand rather than the kids. I think shopping is a great time for parents to teach their kids about “other people’s property” and how to “look but don’t touch without permission” and how to politely communicate with others “please, thank you, and excuse me” are handy.
I remember a wonderful lady who got down on the floor and spoke very softly and intelligently to her young son about how to behave in stores and asked him politely to be patient for just a bit longer. It was beautiful. Other parents scream at thier kids “DON"T TOUCH!” It seems pretty normal for a kid to want to touch so take a few minutes out of your busy shopping and teach them how to be very careful with the things around them and to ask permission before picking anything up.
I work in a music store and it always amazes me how kids will pick up items that cost hundreds of dollars without asking and parents treat that as okay. The other day a lady was picking up $500 dollar instruments and letting her three year old strum on them. Granted she was being somewhat cautious but our expensive merchandise isn’t there to entertain your kids.
It also seems that most parents don’t feel financially responsible for their kids. If your kid breaks an expensive item that he/she shouldn’t have been playing with in the first place then “whoopsie” isn’t going to cut it.
I insist that kids treat the merchandise, other shoppers, and the employees with respect and consideration.
Then again, we have our share of adults who can’t seem to understand that concept, but that’s another rant.
That’s a good story. Isn’t it’s sad and pathetic how only the dollar sign got her to do what she could have done all along. I like your broken hip idea.
When I worked at an electronics store I was always amazed at how parents would let kids play with very expensive electronics as if the displays with clear price tags on them were there just to screw with.
One day I asked a gent if he needed anything and he just chuckled and said “No, I’m watching my kids tear up you computers” He had three kids all beating on the keyboards of of separate computers. I stood beside him watching them for about 5 seconds and said “Comon kids, let’s bust a real expensive one so Daddy can buy it”
“Comon kids let’s go” was the immediate response.
LOL I love that.
In the sporting goods section at Sears it was a real chore to keep kids, usually unaccompanied by parents, off the treadmills and such. One tiny lady of an employee was helping a couple when little girl brat starting going from one treadmill to another.
“You’re not supposed to play on those” employee says politely and brat goes away for a moment. She’s soon back and on the treadmills again and when she’s spoken to this time she replies “My Daddy says I can play on these”
“Well I’m afraid your Daddy is mistaken, you can’t play on they” Brat runs off again and while lady employee is still trying to help the same couple irate father comes up to interrupt.
“Hey, what’s your problem? I told my daughter she could come over and play on these.”
Before lady employee can respond the man she was trying to help steps in front of her and into irate Dad’s face. “Look jackass, this lady is trying to wait on us , so you and your miserable brat of a kid can just get the hell out of here”
Irate Dad slinks away while employee silently cheers.
Not a defense but a possible explanation for the parents that tolerate tantrums in stores. As a father I can see both sides of this one.
When the child throws a tantrum, what he’s doing is attempting to exert his control over the situation. He, more than anything, wants to embarrass his parents into them giving him what he wants.
One school of thought says to let them tantrum until they get tired of it, the parents watching on in a bored manner, until the kid realizes it’s not going to work. Personally, I think this isn’t necessarily a bad thing.
The other option for the parent is to yank the young mister up off the floor by an arm and warm his butt until the tantrum turns to sniffles. This will get bring every anti-spanking advocate from the depths of the store to your location where they will tell you what an abusive parent you are.
Which would you choose?
A case study. Young cousin of mine decided to demonstrate his control over his parents by holding his breath until he’d pass out. When he’d come to, the parents would be standing over him nervous for his health. Score!
On the advice of their kid’s doctor, one day he did it and they all left for the other room. He came to in an empty room with nobody standing. Kinda a lonely way to wake, really. He never held his breath like that again.
Neither.
The kid gets removed from the building by the parent. They go home if the kid can’t behave. The excuse that the parent might need something is not an issue. The kid will learn this is the response, and they won’t be doing it when the parent has to do something in the future.
I agree. I understand the reasoning in letting kids have their tantrum and ignoring them and that’s fine in the privacy of your own home but when you are in public and your kid is a potential danger or hazard to other people and themselves because of their bad behavior then you remove them from the area as quickly as possible.
As others have pointed out, those are not the only two options. I stopped my son from throwing tantrums by acting like it was really cool and I was proud of him.
“That is awesome! That’s the best tantrum I’ve ever seen. Incredible” I’d ask others to come look and see what a great tantrum he was throwing. I’d throw open the window and yell. “Hey everybody , come see what a great tantrum Cosmos Jr is throwing, It great!”
Really took the wind out of his sails I tell you. But that was at home. When we were in a store I expected him to behave in an appropriate manner and he knew if he didn’t there were consequences. I’d issue a warning or two and if he still misbehaved the trip to the store was over and there would be a loss of privileges when we got home. No TV. No treats. Or something along those lines. I found if what I said and what I did were consistent then my kids knew when I said something, even in a quiet “I really mean it” tone they knew I was serious and usually got their act together.
IMO consistency along with treating them with consideration and politeness seemed to work.